Thursday, December 31, 2009

What advice would you give to my friend about his relationship?

Earlier today, I lost my second job, the place closed down. The manager (the friend needing advice) was severely stressed out because it was his only job, and in addition his last paycheck accidentally got thrown away. It will be re-issued, but it will take a couple of days; and his bills are due now.





He had quit smoking, but because of the stress he decided to get a pack and smoked a couple cigarettes. He then put the pack in his pocket.





He invited me and another coworker friend of ours out to eat as part of a ';goodbye'; dinner, and his girlfriend (who used to work there) came along with us.





When the manager and his girlfriend got together, she felt the pack in his pocket. She had made it a rule that he must quit smoking if they got together; he agreed and had held to the rule up until that point. When she felt the pack, she got angry. When it was time for her to go, he walked her out of the restaurant.





When he came back, he asked for advice on how to handle this.What advice would you give to my friend about his relationship?
I saw an ad on television at nite one time, wrote it down, cuz I thought about my brother who smokes, they had a website, and it's called www.whatsyourexcusenj.com, I don't know where your from, but you can take a look at that site, perhaps the site might have similar links or sponsors for whatever state you live in?! Unfortunately, some people handle their problems differently, some people, need an outlet, some just choose unhealthy habits. If he can't talk to friends and family, perhaps also a group therapy, free one, would help, for smokers wanting to quit, or a support group of the sort!





From what you said, she sounds like she's in the same boat, maybe he should ask and see how she's dealing with it, he's not the only one who lost a job. There is of course a temporary state aid, ';unemployment';, since you say he has bills coming up, as do all, and that could help for the while that he looks and finds a job. Also, hopefully he has some savings put on the side, which is always good to have, in case of ';emergencies';, in this case such as loosing a job since they closed. Also, you never know, but I've heard of some places actually allowing sometime, whether it's a legal way, like a grace period, a waiver or a waive of some sort, or other legal ways. I'm not so sure, but maybe he could ask or look into claiming bankruptcy (although, honestly, this last one is just a crazy idea i threw out there, he should look into that, as should you perhaps before telling him to do it, it's just an idea and just a suggestion). There are always ways to help. Have him check into all those. I hope to hear if any of these have helped. Good luck to you and your friend :) .What advice would you give to my friend about his relationship?
To get specific into the gf thing, it may be obvious but she had felt disappointed for two reasons, 1)because she felt lied to, 2)she ';may'; feel like he gave up or didn't take it seriously.

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More about the girl and he, in all honesty, he should've been honest with her, talk to her, like some other people said, and really let her know what's going on.

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When you have a partner who is not only ur gf/bf/wife/husband, but a bestfriend who you can always go to for help of any sort, that's when it truly helps and means a lot.

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I truly believe in honesty, no matter what, you can always have someone to talk to, to help you,who will be a true friend and who will support you in many ways.

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I'm glad he sounds like he's doing better. And thankyou for clarifying about the gf ';quitting';, so it wasn't quite the same, which would be an even better situation for your friend to ';talk'; to her. :) Take care buddy.

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tell your friend to let his girl know the reason why...i bet she will understand as long as next time, your friend sticks to the rule he agreed and not the sticks he puffs.
tell him to keep his head up,


not to give up, remind him HES not the only one who goes thru hard times,.


tell him, god id there for him.


if god doesnt help him any sooner,


is because god will give him strength and god knows he can pull thru it.


help him and be there for him.


good friends are the best,


you will be a better person and he will admire you.


...


;D

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