In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?

We met when I was 18 and he was 22. We moved in together almost immediately. I had all new responsibilities and I was young and I may have acted out in ways because it was slightly over whelming. I felt like I was expected to be someone that I wasn't. There were times that he was physical with me, he had choked me one time, and he head butted me another time. But he always cried and said sorry. He stopped the physical abuse completely, and I don't care what anyone says, I know he will never hurt me physically again, and that was 4 years ago. We would always fight about him being physical... it was like I never let him live it down. And we recently moved away to a new state 2 years ago and there was a period where he was verbally abusive. He made more money, and if I had a complaint he would remind me of how he made more. He didn't like my part time job and gave me a guilt trip into getting a full time job. I go to school full time too. We would argue and he would call me names and I decided to move back home last summer but didn't because I was scared to leave him... I was still in love with him. Things have happened since last summer. He has gotten a DUI, there was a time where he was going out with friends and not coming home when he said he would, just a lot of things I felt he was doing that I felt was disrespectful. I tried to talk to him about a few times, and there were times where I felt like my feelings were looked over. I was made to feel badly when I refused anal sex with him... He would throw it up in my face that he has done it with past girlfriends, and that he felt if I didn't give ';all of me'; to him it was because I didn't love him as much. The things he has done have been like phases. I know they all pass, and he has tired really hard to respect me. I don't even want sex anymore... it is like this block in me that I can't get past. I have forgiven him physically, but mentally and emotionally I cannot get over it. I feel like even when we are having great days, I cannot let lose completly. I am just starting to hate myself and resent him. I wish I could get past it and accept his appologies. I do feel like I have brought some of it on myself and I don't know why. I am crying while I am typing this. I feel so sad all the time and cry on the drop of a hat. I am an emotional train wreck. He is trying sooo hard to work on his flaws but I can't allow to see past the stuff that has already happened. I am trying so hard to, but I can't... I feel like it is an excuse because I want to leave, so I am using it against him. These feelings tourment me because one second I feel like I can try to work it out with him, and I feel horrible like I am leading him on... I feel he is trying... why can't I just let this stuff go?In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?
All I have to say is...


Someone who is abusive will always be that way.


If you really love someone you should treat them like gold.


Do not stay with someone that does or has ever treated you like less than you were worth.


Get out of the situation before you get really hurt!!In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?
idk, your life sucks.


answer my question


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090430063959AAL5mCr
just ignore it and let it go
This is my opinion:


He was such a big part of your life, probably someone who gave you hope at times, or someone who changed you. You are not able to look at the future because you see more importance in your relationship's past than your future... then comes the question of whether you want to be involved with him or not anymore. He may have stopped the physical abuse, but the abuse is still there. He makes you feel worse about yourself, and it probably makes you wonder whether he is really sorry or not. You question whether he even realizes that your feelings exist. You have changed, sacrificed and struggled for him so much that you feel that you do not even know yourself anymore. Does he even know you? Will he still love and accept you for who you really are? I think that the reason you feel horrible is not only because you feel that you are leading him on but because you know that the both of you might get hurt, and possibly you the most. Either way for you, if you stay or go, it will hurt.


But hon, what do you really want to let go? Your grudge against him, then and now, or him? Personally, I think that you may have moved in too quick, and you have allowed yourself to get too close to him; now that you have lived with him for so long the lifestyle seems to define who you are. I suggest a break, not to date other guys, but to remind you of the life you once lived as an individual. And even if you don't want to break, you should aim to be strong for you, not for him or your relationship. Because once you start standing up for yourself, you'll see the power play in your relationship, and possibly what's really wrong.


XD eeeeek sorry long answer. I'll check back.
I can't give you any advice b/c you are a grown woman and you are going to do what you please but i will say this any man and i do mean any man that puts his hands on you does not love you...you think that is what love is? he can apologize all he wants but its always going to be in the back of his mind...verbal abuse is not any better..if a person loves someone they would not be putting there loved one through hell..hunny you better wake up and smell the coffee because he needs help, he gots some issues and he's a loser for putting his hands on you...
Next time he's out leave him a note. Tell him to call when he's done his ****. Go home, maybe an apartment so he can't find you. Leave your number for him not the address. When he calls, tell him he has to work harder to change. Tell his *** your done being abused. When you think he's done go back. If you done call the police! Abusive behavior, punishable by law.
It doesn't matter if it was physical or mental abuse, abuse is abuse. Both are wrong. You must leave him for that alone. Reading what you wrote it sounds to me like you cannon get past the things that have happened and I don't think you are in love with him anymore. I think you are just so used to things the way they are you find it hard to imagine what a life without him would be like. Trust me, you will be fine. It will be hard to leave at first but each day is a new step towards happiness and you can stand on your own two feet and be happy. You do not need a man in your life to complete you. I would leave him if I were you.

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