I am 14 years old and my boyfriend is 16 years old. We have been dating for 9 months, and for a while now I've been having second thoughts about him. It's not really him, but more me. I'm 14, and feel im way too young to be in a serious relationship, and he did tell me it was a serious relationship. I want to be able to flirt with other guys, and focus more on other things such as friends, family, dance, etc. not a boyfriend. But then again, I feel I really like him because he's really smart and extremely nice to me and helps me through a lot of things, and I think maybe if I break up with him I'll regret it. I told him we need a week break for me to 'gather myself'. We didn't actually break up. That is the closest we ever came to breaking up. What should I do? Stay with him? Dump him? HELP!!Should I break up with him? (9 month relationship!!) I'm having confused, mixed feelings. Need good advice...?
If he's holding you back from doing what you want to do, why would you stay with him? If you're seriously doubting the relationship, it's not worth being together. Plus you're young, enjoy it while you can.Should I break up with him? (9 month relationship!!) I'm having confused, mixed feelings. Need good advice...?
Follow your heart and do what makes you happy! You're young! There is plenty of fish in the sea. Tell him you think you're too young for a serious relationship and you need to live your life. Focus on living and having fun!
don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do
i take it as this is the longest ';relationship'; u been in so i can compare u 2 me because the relationship i am in now is the longest ive been in and i had second thoughts about him 2 but aniwai jus have a dai or 2 for you to think about everything think about all the things he did 4 u, how would u feel if u broke up with him afterwards. I dont think ur young im 14 and my bf is turnin 16 n we been together for a year n 5 months. U can still have fun while ur in a serious relationship jus dnt go over board and u mite mess up wat u have. But realli i think he is the best you can have because you dnt get a lot of good boyfriends these days so i sai stai wit him
Thursday, December 31, 2009
I miss him so much that I cry every night, any advice on how to make our long distance relationship easier?
I'm in Idaho and my boyfriend lives in Montana. We fell in love instantly when we met. We met through a mutual friend of ours. We have so much in common and just fell madly in love. I've never felt this way about anyway. I am only 16, but I know several people who met their spouse at this age and have been together 30+ years.
I've been missing him so much lately that I cry every night. I don't know how to make this stop. We rarely see each other so that makes it even worse. I just miss him so much. Does anyone have any advice for him and I on how to make this easier on both of us? And any advice on how to help me stop crying? Please and Thank You in advance!I miss him so much that I cry every night, any advice on how to make our long distance relationship easier?
if both have computers then first thing i do is email with my wife daily on yahoo instant messenger, shes in china and soon will be in the usa but in the mean time we at least have this as well as i have a skype cam which cost $130 which enables me to call her as often as i want for just 2 pennys a minute, if she had the same it would be free. skype.com you can also get a regualar cam for as little as $25. i also visited china twice and each time for a month.if its meant to be then get creative on both sides, it can work and it did for me.granted you are very young yet this does not mean it can not work, go with your mind and heart and forget about the negatives of some that had bad experiances.I miss him so much that I cry every night, any advice on how to make our long distance relationship easier?
Poppy doesn't know what she's talking about. I know most guys would go out and check out other girls but when I was in a Long Distance I never even LOOKED at another girl, and my girlfriend felt the same pain you felt, as did I.
Honestly unless you get to see each other LDR's hurt, and usually never work in the end. It's just too hard sometimes to do that. Be prepared for heartache, and I'm sorry.;
Listen carefully dear. Long distance does not work. While you're crying every night missing him he's out with the guys and believe me he does notice other girls. That's the way guys are. It's the way you should be too. Sorry this doesn't feel better but I've been there as have friends and we all agree. It doesn't work.
why not organise a surprise trip to see him?
lots of love letters and cards, little gifts to send him...
the crying will subside hunny, being in a long distance relationship is tough - it's up to both of you if each other is worth the sacrifice in the mean time :)
I don't really know what to tell you, I'm kind of going through the same thing....... for me it helps just to talk to him every night or through texts............
Hope this helped.......
well you should try to find something else to get your mind on,16 is so very young,you may be surprised to find you are just as crazy about someone else in a few months
don't know if this will help you..but i felt just the same
You're young. Go have a couple one nighters and you'll feel better.
aww...itll be ok
Well...you seem committed and i hope he is to the key is TRUST! and you two can try to visit in the summer,also me was unfortunate i did like some one like how you did and i was 15 and i had sense that my interest will change buy the time I'm in high school...and it did! not trying to say you wont be together...just saying you two have to talk about your feelings...you have to know if you two are on the same page! if you two are that's all you need is COMMITMENT! and if he is a man who isnt scared then he's the one!
talk to each other everyday as much as possible through the phone or online..it would be better if you can see each other on a webcam..consider yourself lucky coz you can still see each other..im on a LDR also but my bf is in another country..and i dont even know when ill see him again..there are just times that you'll feel really down adn cry a lot like there's no tomorrow..but it will pass..as the days pass, you'll get used to it..well not really but it will lessen..trust me..i was like that at first and i never thought i wont stop crying..but i did..be strong for him..for your relationship..you can do it!good luck!
I've been missing him so much lately that I cry every night. I don't know how to make this stop. We rarely see each other so that makes it even worse. I just miss him so much. Does anyone have any advice for him and I on how to make this easier on both of us? And any advice on how to help me stop crying? Please and Thank You in advance!I miss him so much that I cry every night, any advice on how to make our long distance relationship easier?
if both have computers then first thing i do is email with my wife daily on yahoo instant messenger, shes in china and soon will be in the usa but in the mean time we at least have this as well as i have a skype cam which cost $130 which enables me to call her as often as i want for just 2 pennys a minute, if she had the same it would be free. skype.com you can also get a regualar cam for as little as $25. i also visited china twice and each time for a month.if its meant to be then get creative on both sides, it can work and it did for me.granted you are very young yet this does not mean it can not work, go with your mind and heart and forget about the negatives of some that had bad experiances.I miss him so much that I cry every night, any advice on how to make our long distance relationship easier?
Poppy doesn't know what she's talking about. I know most guys would go out and check out other girls but when I was in a Long Distance I never even LOOKED at another girl, and my girlfriend felt the same pain you felt, as did I.
Honestly unless you get to see each other LDR's hurt, and usually never work in the end. It's just too hard sometimes to do that. Be prepared for heartache, and I'm sorry.;
Listen carefully dear. Long distance does not work. While you're crying every night missing him he's out with the guys and believe me he does notice other girls. That's the way guys are. It's the way you should be too. Sorry this doesn't feel better but I've been there as have friends and we all agree. It doesn't work.
why not organise a surprise trip to see him?
lots of love letters and cards, little gifts to send him...
the crying will subside hunny, being in a long distance relationship is tough - it's up to both of you if each other is worth the sacrifice in the mean time :)
I don't really know what to tell you, I'm kind of going through the same thing....... for me it helps just to talk to him every night or through texts............
Hope this helped.......
well you should try to find something else to get your mind on,16 is so very young,you may be surprised to find you are just as crazy about someone else in a few months
don't know if this will help you..but i felt just the same
You're young. Go have a couple one nighters and you'll feel better.
aww...itll be ok
Well...you seem committed and i hope he is to the key is TRUST! and you two can try to visit in the summer,also me was unfortunate i did like some one like how you did and i was 15 and i had sense that my interest will change buy the time I'm in high school...and it did! not trying to say you wont be together...just saying you two have to talk about your feelings...you have to know if you two are on the same page! if you two are that's all you need is COMMITMENT! and if he is a man who isnt scared then he's the one!
talk to each other everyday as much as possible through the phone or online..it would be better if you can see each other on a webcam..consider yourself lucky coz you can still see each other..im on a LDR also but my bf is in another country..and i dont even know when ill see him again..there are just times that you'll feel really down adn cry a lot like there's no tomorrow..but it will pass..as the days pass, you'll get used to it..well not really but it will lessen..trust me..i was like that at first and i never thought i wont stop crying..but i did..be strong for him..for your relationship..you can do it!good luck!
Just broke up from an almost one year relationship. Got no one to talk to, need some advice.?
Broke up because i'm often demanding and haven't let her be free. We've always been the best of friends and close together, and mostly happy. But whenever it came to these situations it has caused things to go downhill. And now, they've managed to get to the bottom. She wants some space, some time. I know what i have to do, i'm not really asking for advice, i just need some reassurance from somebody. She means the world to me, i know i can let her be independant because i do trust with completely, i always have, but i was new to this idea and reacted very badly. Which then caused her to grow unhappy and now that made me unhappy and there was no resolve for it. She wants time and space to experience new things. If along the way she finds she wants to be with me, she will tell me right away, i know that. I know it's in her heart somewhere i KNOW that for a fact, i guess the question is.
Do i need to wait for her to come to me? How long will it take? How should i react?
Thank you.Just broke up from an almost one year relationship. Got no one to talk to, need some advice.?
It is time for you to let her be free, to be able to grasp the freedom that she was missing when she was with you. If you two are remaining friends, then continue to talk. Ask her how things are going, if she says she is going out...be happy about it and make sure she knows that you are happy that she has the opportunity to be alive and experience life, and I should also mention that you as well need to get out there and start doing things that make you happy, and start making new friends and enjoy life and the freedom of being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it.Just broke up from an almost one year relationship. Got no one to talk to, need some advice.?
move on. by her saying she needs time to experience new things she is saying she still loves you but its not working out. If you really think she might come back, then you should prolly start a new relationship so you can get more practice in being in a relationship. but it doesnt have to be a serious relationship (and let the new girl know that) so you can go back to your girlfriend if she comes back.
I think you should start dating again and let her worry about what you are doing. Who knows, you might both meet other people or you may both realize that you want to be together. Don't sit and worry about her. Get on with you life.
Dont worry its prolly just to reassure herself. the time it takes depends on the person
you can;t make anyone do anything they don't want to do. Learning to LET GO is so hard. Good luck
why don't you start all over and court her again but this time try to be more romantic
if you love something set it free if it comes back it was yours,if not it never was.
Do i need to wait for her to come to me? How long will it take? How should i react?
Thank you.Just broke up from an almost one year relationship. Got no one to talk to, need some advice.?
It is time for you to let her be free, to be able to grasp the freedom that she was missing when she was with you. If you two are remaining friends, then continue to talk. Ask her how things are going, if she says she is going out...be happy about it and make sure she knows that you are happy that she has the opportunity to be alive and experience life, and I should also mention that you as well need to get out there and start doing things that make you happy, and start making new friends and enjoy life and the freedom of being able to do what you want to do when you want to do it.Just broke up from an almost one year relationship. Got no one to talk to, need some advice.?
move on. by her saying she needs time to experience new things she is saying she still loves you but its not working out. If you really think she might come back, then you should prolly start a new relationship so you can get more practice in being in a relationship. but it doesnt have to be a serious relationship (and let the new girl know that) so you can go back to your girlfriend if she comes back.
I think you should start dating again and let her worry about what you are doing. Who knows, you might both meet other people or you may both realize that you want to be together. Don't sit and worry about her. Get on with you life.
Dont worry its prolly just to reassure herself. the time it takes depends on the person
you can;t make anyone do anything they don't want to do. Learning to LET GO is so hard. Good luck
why don't you start all over and court her again but this time try to be more romantic
if you love something set it free if it comes back it was yours,if not it never was.
I'd appreciate any advice you can give on where to take this relationship?
i know its long, but I would honestly appreciate it if you could read through this and give some help. thanks in advance !
this girl and i knew each other from a very young age. We chat sometimes on msn or sms and catch-up every now and then after periods of non-contact. For the past 5 years we've been smsing each other happy birthday at 12 midnight (not that we arranged it but somehow it has become a routine). But we have never been close.
I've liked her for 6 years now. (Certainly there have been other crushes in between but i had not stopped maintaining a very good opinion of her.) Other than using telecommunications, the only time we chat is when our families meet up.
Recently we lost contact for 6 months. Then as i was thinking of her i just rang her up to say ';good luck for the upcoming A lvls';. She seemed (but she's a really nice girl she may be just being polite) really happy i called, chatted for 30min, and she also said ';hope our families meet up soon, or it'll be hard seeing u again';. (this is because after this year we're both going to different countries to study)
I don't think its possible she likes me though. I start most of the conversations and we never flirt with each other, just chat. we're both vry decent ';family-oriented'; teens anyway.
And shes also a really shy girl. Im not sure if i should ask her out, because she might feel obliged to go, in a way, and that puts us in very awkward positions.
Im not exactly sure where to bring our relationship. Could anyone offer any help? i would be really happy for some advice =)I'd appreciate any advice you can give on where to take this relationship?
I would go for it and ask her out, but perhaps only as friends for the time being? This will show her you have grown up alot over the years, and dont just rely on family occasions to see each other.
You never know what could blossom if you decide to ask her out, but if you dont you will always look back and think ';what if?';
Help me with my question??
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090914054606AA8MYvw%26amp;r=wI'd appreciate any advice you can give on where to take this relationship?
1) If you don't try, you will never know.
2) There's always a first time.
3) Any decision, is either a yes, or a no.
You both still teens,so keep talking when you old enough then you know what you want.any how good friends stay for life time,keep relation same way, nothing to loose.
You are not alone but 90% of guys face this problem. They feel shy to convey their feelings to their girlfriend. You have to be bold enough to put your words. Even my boyfriend suffered from the same syndrome but somehow he was able to get me. I was a very hard girl but he managed to get me. One day I asked him about the trick and couldn't stop laughing when he disclosed his secret. He had mastered himself through an ebook. So you can take help of some such ebook that can explain you for how to get a girl.
this girl and i knew each other from a very young age. We chat sometimes on msn or sms and catch-up every now and then after periods of non-contact. For the past 5 years we've been smsing each other happy birthday at 12 midnight (not that we arranged it but somehow it has become a routine). But we have never been close.
I've liked her for 6 years now. (Certainly there have been other crushes in between but i had not stopped maintaining a very good opinion of her.) Other than using telecommunications, the only time we chat is when our families meet up.
Recently we lost contact for 6 months. Then as i was thinking of her i just rang her up to say ';good luck for the upcoming A lvls';. She seemed (but she's a really nice girl she may be just being polite) really happy i called, chatted for 30min, and she also said ';hope our families meet up soon, or it'll be hard seeing u again';. (this is because after this year we're both going to different countries to study)
I don't think its possible she likes me though. I start most of the conversations and we never flirt with each other, just chat. we're both vry decent ';family-oriented'; teens anyway.
And shes also a really shy girl. Im not sure if i should ask her out, because she might feel obliged to go, in a way, and that puts us in very awkward positions.
Im not exactly sure where to bring our relationship. Could anyone offer any help? i would be really happy for some advice =)I'd appreciate any advice you can give on where to take this relationship?
I would go for it and ask her out, but perhaps only as friends for the time being? This will show her you have grown up alot over the years, and dont just rely on family occasions to see each other.
You never know what could blossom if you decide to ask her out, but if you dont you will always look back and think ';what if?';
Help me with my question??
http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090914054606AA8MYvw%26amp;r=wI'd appreciate any advice you can give on where to take this relationship?
1) If you don't try, you will never know.
2) There's always a first time.
3) Any decision, is either a yes, or a no.
You both still teens,so keep talking when you old enough then you know what you want.any how good friends stay for life time,keep relation same way, nothing to loose.
You are not alone but 90% of guys face this problem. They feel shy to convey their feelings to their girlfriend. You have to be bold enough to put your words. Even my boyfriend suffered from the same syndrome but somehow he was able to get me. I was a very hard girl but he managed to get me. One day I asked him about the trick and couldn't stop laughing when he disclosed his secret. He had mastered himself through an ebook. So you can take help of some such ebook that can explain you for how to get a girl.
In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?
We met when I was 18 and he was 22. We moved in together almost immediately. I had all new responsibilities and I was young and I may have acted out in ways because it was slightly over whelming. I felt like I was expected to be someone that I wasn't. There were times that he was physical with me, he had choked me one time, and he head butted me another time. But he always cried and said sorry. He stopped the physical abuse completely, and I don't care what anyone says, I know he will never hurt me physically again, and that was 4 years ago. We would always fight about him being physical... it was like I never let him live it down. And we recently moved away to a new state 2 years ago and there was a period where he was verbally abusive. He made more money, and if I had a complaint he would remind me of how he made more. He didn't like my part time job and gave me a guilt trip into getting a full time job. I go to school full time too. We would argue and he would call me names and I decided to move back home last summer but didn't because I was scared to leave him... I was still in love with him. Things have happened since last summer. He has gotten a DUI, there was a time where he was going out with friends and not coming home when he said he would, just a lot of things I felt he was doing that I felt was disrespectful. I tried to talk to him about a few times, and there were times where I felt like my feelings were looked over. I was made to feel badly when I refused anal sex with him... He would throw it up in my face that he has done it with past girlfriends, and that he felt if I didn't give ';all of me'; to him it was because I didn't love him as much. The things he has done have been like phases. I know they all pass, and he has tired really hard to respect me. I don't even want sex anymore... it is like this block in me that I can't get past. I have forgiven him physically, but mentally and emotionally I cannot get over it. I feel like even when we are having great days, I cannot let lose completly. I am just starting to hate myself and resent him. I wish I could get past it and accept his appologies. I do feel like I have brought some of it on myself and I don't know why. I am crying while I am typing this. I feel so sad all the time and cry on the drop of a hat. I am an emotional train wreck. He is trying sooo hard to work on his flaws but I can't allow to see past the stuff that has already happened. I am trying so hard to, but I can't... I feel like it is an excuse because I want to leave, so I am using it against him. These feelings tourment me because one second I feel like I can try to work it out with him, and I feel horrible like I am leading him on... I feel he is trying... why can't I just let this stuff go?In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?
All I have to say is...
Someone who is abusive will always be that way.
If you really love someone you should treat them like gold.
Do not stay with someone that does or has ever treated you like less than you were worth.
Get out of the situation before you get really hurt!!In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?
idk, your life sucks.
answer my question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090430063959AAL5mCr
just ignore it and let it go
This is my opinion:
He was such a big part of your life, probably someone who gave you hope at times, or someone who changed you. You are not able to look at the future because you see more importance in your relationship's past than your future... then comes the question of whether you want to be involved with him or not anymore. He may have stopped the physical abuse, but the abuse is still there. He makes you feel worse about yourself, and it probably makes you wonder whether he is really sorry or not. You question whether he even realizes that your feelings exist. You have changed, sacrificed and struggled for him so much that you feel that you do not even know yourself anymore. Does he even know you? Will he still love and accept you for who you really are? I think that the reason you feel horrible is not only because you feel that you are leading him on but because you know that the both of you might get hurt, and possibly you the most. Either way for you, if you stay or go, it will hurt.
But hon, what do you really want to let go? Your grudge against him, then and now, or him? Personally, I think that you may have moved in too quick, and you have allowed yourself to get too close to him; now that you have lived with him for so long the lifestyle seems to define who you are. I suggest a break, not to date other guys, but to remind you of the life you once lived as an individual. And even if you don't want to break, you should aim to be strong for you, not for him or your relationship. Because once you start standing up for yourself, you'll see the power play in your relationship, and possibly what's really wrong.
XD eeeeek sorry long answer. I'll check back.
I can't give you any advice b/c you are a grown woman and you are going to do what you please but i will say this any man and i do mean any man that puts his hands on you does not love you...you think that is what love is? he can apologize all he wants but its always going to be in the back of his mind...verbal abuse is not any better..if a person loves someone they would not be putting there loved one through hell..hunny you better wake up and smell the coffee because he needs help, he gots some issues and he's a loser for putting his hands on you...
Next time he's out leave him a note. Tell him to call when he's done his ****. Go home, maybe an apartment so he can't find you. Leave your number for him not the address. When he calls, tell him he has to work harder to change. Tell his *** your done being abused. When you think he's done go back. If you done call the police! Abusive behavior, punishable by law.
It doesn't matter if it was physical or mental abuse, abuse is abuse. Both are wrong. You must leave him for that alone. Reading what you wrote it sounds to me like you cannon get past the things that have happened and I don't think you are in love with him anymore. I think you are just so used to things the way they are you find it hard to imagine what a life without him would be like. Trust me, you will be fine. It will be hard to leave at first but each day is a new step towards happiness and you can stand on your own two feet and be happy. You do not need a man in your life to complete you. I would leave him if I were you.homemade blackheads
All I have to say is...
Someone who is abusive will always be that way.
If you really love someone you should treat them like gold.
Do not stay with someone that does or has ever treated you like less than you were worth.
Get out of the situation before you get really hurt!!In a relationship that was abusive in the past... I need some advice about to leave or not?
idk, your life sucks.
answer my question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090430063959AAL5mCr
just ignore it and let it go
This is my opinion:
He was such a big part of your life, probably someone who gave you hope at times, or someone who changed you. You are not able to look at the future because you see more importance in your relationship's past than your future... then comes the question of whether you want to be involved with him or not anymore. He may have stopped the physical abuse, but the abuse is still there. He makes you feel worse about yourself, and it probably makes you wonder whether he is really sorry or not. You question whether he even realizes that your feelings exist. You have changed, sacrificed and struggled for him so much that you feel that you do not even know yourself anymore. Does he even know you? Will he still love and accept you for who you really are? I think that the reason you feel horrible is not only because you feel that you are leading him on but because you know that the both of you might get hurt, and possibly you the most. Either way for you, if you stay or go, it will hurt.
But hon, what do you really want to let go? Your grudge against him, then and now, or him? Personally, I think that you may have moved in too quick, and you have allowed yourself to get too close to him; now that you have lived with him for so long the lifestyle seems to define who you are. I suggest a break, not to date other guys, but to remind you of the life you once lived as an individual. And even if you don't want to break, you should aim to be strong for you, not for him or your relationship. Because once you start standing up for yourself, you'll see the power play in your relationship, and possibly what's really wrong.
XD eeeeek sorry long answer. I'll check back.
I can't give you any advice b/c you are a grown woman and you are going to do what you please but i will say this any man and i do mean any man that puts his hands on you does not love you...you think that is what love is? he can apologize all he wants but its always going to be in the back of his mind...verbal abuse is not any better..if a person loves someone they would not be putting there loved one through hell..hunny you better wake up and smell the coffee because he needs help, he gots some issues and he's a loser for putting his hands on you...
Next time he's out leave him a note. Tell him to call when he's done his ****. Go home, maybe an apartment so he can't find you. Leave your number for him not the address. When he calls, tell him he has to work harder to change. Tell his *** your done being abused. When you think he's done go back. If you done call the police! Abusive behavior, punishable by law.
It doesn't matter if it was physical or mental abuse, abuse is abuse. Both are wrong. You must leave him for that alone. Reading what you wrote it sounds to me like you cannon get past the things that have happened and I don't think you are in love with him anymore. I think you are just so used to things the way they are you find it hard to imagine what a life without him would be like. Trust me, you will be fine. It will be hard to leave at first but each day is a new step towards happiness and you can stand on your own two feet and be happy. You do not need a man in your life to complete you. I would leave him if I were you.
I really need some advice- should I move out, will it help my relationship? Please... help?
I moved in with my boyfriend after dating for just about 6 months... I was always at his house and we figured it just made sense to make it more permanent by bringing in my clothes and things... The thing is that, he currently lives with his mom (we are both still in college, graduating this year) and we have plans to move to Chicago in July....
So... I realized that I dont feel like myself anymore. Before I moved in, I was more fun, free, and happy... He and I have a good relationship, we are still happy- but it is just SO SO SO overwhelming and stressful living with his mother- she doesnt clean or cook and it's just, well hard to explain, but it is bad!
I am staying at my parents house, my real home- for 5 days and I dunno, I have been thinking about going back to possibly just like dating him- not living together but seeing him 2-3 times a week... I don't want to destroy anything, but I feel like maybe it will get even worse by staying there? Our sex life has diminished and I am often quite upset being there ...
Can anyone offer me some advice- should I just stick it out in that house? I mean we are moving soon, I know- will moving back home make it worse? I don't want to ruin our good relationship, but i just dont know!!I really need some advice- should I move out, will it help my relationship? Please... help?
Additional advise for you in response to your most current posting for help:
I have this friend that had a crush on this boy in highschool and she never told him. Well, that 10 year highschool reunion came around and she had enough confidence to tell him that she had always had a crush on him. They began to date and quickly thereafter got married. Well, as it turns out (and she knew this from the beginning) - his mom was a total packrat. His family's home was a disaster. Packages of all kinds of things stacked floor to ceiling in most rooms. She thought it was awful but wanted to pursue her highschool dream - to get THIS guy!!!! So, married in six months they have a house and as time goes on the way he was raised causes her ALOT of trouble. She tried and tried to get him from doing the same 'packrat' - messy things that his family did for all of his years growing up. She tried but then she began to give up - she used a 'messy room' to throw stuff that was not put away because she couldn't keep up. Pretty soon, as she was busy with kids and work, she really couldn't keep up and that messy room spilled over into the rest of the house and now they have a carbon copy of his childhood home! Be careful!!!
It sounds to me that you have already answered your own question - you are much happier when you are not 'living' at his mother's house and you anticpate moving to Chicago in July - so you move back into your parents home with the intention of moving with him, to Chicago, in July. If he loves you he will understand that this is in your best interest and because he loves you he will continue the relationship with you under these terms. If he just cares about himself (believe me, you do want to find this out sooner rather than later) - he will fuss and whine and beg you not to do this, regardless of your feelings on the matter. It will be at that point that you will, hopefully, realize, that he is in this for him and not for the two of you. I am telling you this as a lesson that may make or break your future with this guy or any other guy in the future. If he cares about your happiness then it will be easy as pie for you to explain that for now you are happier at your parents home and when July comes around you cannot wait to move with him to Chicago. Best of luck - always :)I really need some advice- should I move out, will it help my relationship? Please... help?
Be honest to your boyfriend. Talk to him what you feel. You both should decide on that. I know your boyfriend is sensible enough. You can still go out even you are with your parents and he is with his parents too. Anyway you said you are going to move Chicago so just wait for that time. Maybe a little space will do good for both of you.
You're blaming the boredom of living with him on the mother-in -law.
Here is my advice to you...Stay single and enjoy life as long as you can. If you want to move in with someone, make sure they love you and get you a nice diamond...then the work starts and you can both strive to maintain a marriage.
You have learned a good lesson!!
I agree I think you should move out. You never should have moved in with him and his MOM. Bad move! If you two have a good relationship it will last. So pack your bags!
You were a shack up honey. Move out. Date another to see if they are a keeper. Do it the right way..He does not respect you...
So... I realized that I dont feel like myself anymore. Before I moved in, I was more fun, free, and happy... He and I have a good relationship, we are still happy- but it is just SO SO SO overwhelming and stressful living with his mother- she doesnt clean or cook and it's just, well hard to explain, but it is bad!
I am staying at my parents house, my real home- for 5 days and I dunno, I have been thinking about going back to possibly just like dating him- not living together but seeing him 2-3 times a week... I don't want to destroy anything, but I feel like maybe it will get even worse by staying there? Our sex life has diminished and I am often quite upset being there ...
Can anyone offer me some advice- should I just stick it out in that house? I mean we are moving soon, I know- will moving back home make it worse? I don't want to ruin our good relationship, but i just dont know!!I really need some advice- should I move out, will it help my relationship? Please... help?
Additional advise for you in response to your most current posting for help:
I have this friend that had a crush on this boy in highschool and she never told him. Well, that 10 year highschool reunion came around and she had enough confidence to tell him that she had always had a crush on him. They began to date and quickly thereafter got married. Well, as it turns out (and she knew this from the beginning) - his mom was a total packrat. His family's home was a disaster. Packages of all kinds of things stacked floor to ceiling in most rooms. She thought it was awful but wanted to pursue her highschool dream - to get THIS guy!!!! So, married in six months they have a house and as time goes on the way he was raised causes her ALOT of trouble. She tried and tried to get him from doing the same 'packrat' - messy things that his family did for all of his years growing up. She tried but then she began to give up - she used a 'messy room' to throw stuff that was not put away because she couldn't keep up. Pretty soon, as she was busy with kids and work, she really couldn't keep up and that messy room spilled over into the rest of the house and now they have a carbon copy of his childhood home! Be careful!!!
It sounds to me that you have already answered your own question - you are much happier when you are not 'living' at his mother's house and you anticpate moving to Chicago in July - so you move back into your parents home with the intention of moving with him, to Chicago, in July. If he loves you he will understand that this is in your best interest and because he loves you he will continue the relationship with you under these terms. If he just cares about himself (believe me, you do want to find this out sooner rather than later) - he will fuss and whine and beg you not to do this, regardless of your feelings on the matter. It will be at that point that you will, hopefully, realize, that he is in this for him and not for the two of you. I am telling you this as a lesson that may make or break your future with this guy or any other guy in the future. If he cares about your happiness then it will be easy as pie for you to explain that for now you are happier at your parents home and when July comes around you cannot wait to move with him to Chicago. Best of luck - always :)I really need some advice- should I move out, will it help my relationship? Please... help?
Be honest to your boyfriend. Talk to him what you feel. You both should decide on that. I know your boyfriend is sensible enough. You can still go out even you are with your parents and he is with his parents too. Anyway you said you are going to move Chicago so just wait for that time. Maybe a little space will do good for both of you.
You're blaming the boredom of living with him on the mother-in -law.
Here is my advice to you...Stay single and enjoy life as long as you can. If you want to move in with someone, make sure they love you and get you a nice diamond...then the work starts and you can both strive to maintain a marriage.
You have learned a good lesson!!
I agree I think you should move out. You never should have moved in with him and his MOM. Bad move! If you two have a good relationship it will last. So pack your bags!
You were a shack up honey. Move out. Date another to see if they are a keeper. Do it the right way..He does not respect you...
In a relationship i thought was a happy one and i need advice?
i am in a relationship i thought it was all good and things were going smooth. my bf has been having problems jacking off in his sleep and i have been looking for answers on that trying to help him because he has no recollection of doing so. while in the process of trying to help him i wake the other night to him in the bathroom jerking off and he was completely awake. he comes out lays down knows i am awake gets the deer in headlights look and hurry quick go back to sleep before i can say anything to him. we have a very very good well i thought sex life consisting of sex almost every day. pretty much daily sometimes more then once a day. and i hadn't had sex with him that night or the day before that was the first time in a long time that we hadn't had sex. so he tells me that it is my fault and that i am the one who made him do it and that i cant be upset by it. i am truly hurt and feel betrayed by this and he says it was the first time he has ever done it since we been together. i blame myself because we have been watching some porn lately and i am 5 months pregnant so am i the one who did it and is he not attracted to me that is why he did it or what??? i don't really understand any of it and i am crushed and need help what do i do?????? In a relationship i thought was a happy one and i need advice?
Let the poor guy masturbate if he needs to.... it's natural.In a relationship i thought was a happy one and i need advice?
Honey, there is NOTHING wrong with what he is doing. It's a natural thing. I am sure most men do that from time to time, I would not be upset about it if I were you. He is simply pleasuring himself and thats not a bad thing.
You should not blame yourself for any of his actions.
The excessive sex drive he is manifesting is a marker for sexual addiction. That is his problem, not yours. No normal male needs sex multiple times a day, if he is in the situation you described. I don't believe he could do what he is doing, unaware, in his sleep either.
You need to care for yourself and for the child growing inside of you. Don't take on any more burdens in life than you can handle. I get the impression both of you are very young. The next four months are going to be very trying for you, physically and mentally. So you must be strong for yourself, not him.
He's a big boy now, soon to be a father. You might remind him of that from time to time, and don't let him lay a guilt trip on the only person in the world who loves him, despite his numerous faults. If he needs sex, and you are willing, he has a mouth, let him ask. Let him know he needs to ask. Does he expect you to initiate everything?
Time to show a little independence in this relationship. Don't let him use you for his personal entertainment center. You are a human being and deserve respect.
Guys do this don't take it personally! You are probably just emotional because you are pregnant . I look at it this way it is better than him cheating on you! Just ease up on the guy! I know it is hard to not take it personally, but it is much easier when you don't.
I think you should open the lines of communication. Tell him that you would appreciate it if he asked you for sex before he pleasured himself. If you do have sex one day and he needs to jack off the next because you don't want to have sex then that should be fine. I can totally understand how you feel insecure now because you are five months pregnant, but if you talk to him about how you feel it will make you feel better, He may just not want to bother you while you are sleeping. I personally loved to be woken up to sex. Just try talking to him, tell him how you feel, and let him know your expectations.
You are not responsible for his actions. The fact that he is trying to blame you for something he chose to do is ridiculous.
Sweetie, don't worry so much. Your man is still attracted to you, he just seems to need that release a little more often than you do just now. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation, and even those in the healthiest of relationships do it every now and again. Some men even do it every day, even if they are having sex with their wife just as often.
If it gets to the point he starts putting you off and denying you sex so he can masturbate instead, that is the time to worry. Otherwise your partner is engaging in perfectly normal behavior, and you should accept it as such. Making a big deal over it and getting offended may make him feel nervous about his sexuality and that could effect his ability to maintain an erection when he's with you.
So you thought your relationship was a good one and because you caught your boyfriend masturbating, it's now over? Is this your first relationship with a man or what? Masturbation is a normal part of a sexual relationship, particularly in younger adults. It's not like he said he is unhappy with you or something. He's not with another woman. This is a normal occurrence. Relax and don't be so uptight.
Which one is better, him jerking himself or jerking another woman? Don't think so much about it, man sometimes even when they are in relationship does that in order to release their libido without their partner's obligation. You are pregnant!!!!
Let the poor guy masturbate if he needs to.... it's natural.In a relationship i thought was a happy one and i need advice?
Honey, there is NOTHING wrong with what he is doing. It's a natural thing. I am sure most men do that from time to time, I would not be upset about it if I were you. He is simply pleasuring himself and thats not a bad thing.
You should not blame yourself for any of his actions.
The excessive sex drive he is manifesting is a marker for sexual addiction. That is his problem, not yours. No normal male needs sex multiple times a day, if he is in the situation you described. I don't believe he could do what he is doing, unaware, in his sleep either.
You need to care for yourself and for the child growing inside of you. Don't take on any more burdens in life than you can handle. I get the impression both of you are very young. The next four months are going to be very trying for you, physically and mentally. So you must be strong for yourself, not him.
He's a big boy now, soon to be a father. You might remind him of that from time to time, and don't let him lay a guilt trip on the only person in the world who loves him, despite his numerous faults. If he needs sex, and you are willing, he has a mouth, let him ask. Let him know he needs to ask. Does he expect you to initiate everything?
Time to show a little independence in this relationship. Don't let him use you for his personal entertainment center. You are a human being and deserve respect.
Guys do this don't take it personally! You are probably just emotional because you are pregnant . I look at it this way it is better than him cheating on you! Just ease up on the guy! I know it is hard to not take it personally, but it is much easier when you don't.
I think you should open the lines of communication. Tell him that you would appreciate it if he asked you for sex before he pleasured himself. If you do have sex one day and he needs to jack off the next because you don't want to have sex then that should be fine. I can totally understand how you feel insecure now because you are five months pregnant, but if you talk to him about how you feel it will make you feel better, He may just not want to bother you while you are sleeping. I personally loved to be woken up to sex. Just try talking to him, tell him how you feel, and let him know your expectations.
You are not responsible for his actions. The fact that he is trying to blame you for something he chose to do is ridiculous.
Sweetie, don't worry so much. Your man is still attracted to you, he just seems to need that release a little more often than you do just now. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation, and even those in the healthiest of relationships do it every now and again. Some men even do it every day, even if they are having sex with their wife just as often.
If it gets to the point he starts putting you off and denying you sex so he can masturbate instead, that is the time to worry. Otherwise your partner is engaging in perfectly normal behavior, and you should accept it as such. Making a big deal over it and getting offended may make him feel nervous about his sexuality and that could effect his ability to maintain an erection when he's with you.
So you thought your relationship was a good one and because you caught your boyfriend masturbating, it's now over? Is this your first relationship with a man or what? Masturbation is a normal part of a sexual relationship, particularly in younger adults. It's not like he said he is unhappy with you or something. He's not with another woman. This is a normal occurrence. Relax and don't be so uptight.
Which one is better, him jerking himself or jerking another woman? Don't think so much about it, man sometimes even when they are in relationship does that in order to release their libido without their partner's obligation. You are pregnant!!!!
Been In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
We've together 4years in that time I've had 2 boys with him.
And his rised my daugther who is 5years old as his own.
We got married 2 years ago but every since things have not been the same.
I'm getting accused of cheating all the time, and His been hitting me for the last 3 years on and off, which he hasn't done since feburary this year. I loved him very much but He telling what i can do and not do, also his telling me that i'm not aloud to go my family unless his with me.
And also his telling me that i'm not aloud to drive a car or have driving lessons or have anything to do with a car. so for the past month his not been living with us coz i kicked him out but i'm feeling guilty and i want him back. I know what should do but its hard when u got kids and u love the person and they're the only person u have as family.
I don't have friends or family, just my kids and him. P.S I'M 26 AND HIS 26 AS WELL. TNKS REALLY NEED ADVICE ASAPBeen In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
That's what he's counting on. He isolates you from others to keep you dependent on him. There are shelters for battered women that can help you get your life back on track. Do not feel guilty . Do not take him back. That is no way to live your life or an atmosphere to raise your children in. It's not only you to be concerned about but your children.Been In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
Well, Life is tough I guess, Relationships always have their ups and downs, however the best advice I can give u, is to let him go. He is controlling ur life, and is far too strict on u. U dont want someone telling u what to do, well atleast i dont. But its ur choice. Are you okay, with him controlling over ur life, well the decision u make, will change ur life
Good luck x
Are you crazy? He has been hitting you for the last 3 years, wont let you do anything, not even drive a car.
You already have kicked him out, dont go back now. File for divorce.
Your kids DO NOT need to be in this environment.
Good luck.
Simple answer..
He IS VIOLENT -
YOU do not need to live like that -
HE will not change -
HE is overbearing and a control freak -
YOU WILL GET BADLY HURT - mentally and physically.
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK - LEARN FROM THIS AND MOVE ON FROM IT....
HE WILL NOT CHANGE - and you know it.
well, he already crossed his limits. He hit you yesterday, he will hit you tomorrow. I suggest that you get financial independence through getting a job and file for divorce.
Get out before he really hurts you bad or kills you. Once the hitting starts, it does not stop.
he beats you...you need to leave him for good....
Ever since you got married he thinks he owns you, it is not a well talked about fact but there are fellas that think that once that wedding ring goes onto that finger you are there property to do with as they please. trust me had one.
I can tell you now for the sake of your kids you need to keep him out, for good. It will give your kids the wrong idea. how would you feel if your daughter grew up and got in with the same type of fella and stayed cause it is what you done. Or your son's grew up to think that it is ok to behave that way to women. You need to set an example for your kids and put yourself and you first.
This so called husband of yours is a Coward and a bully, he is not what anyone needs in there lives and I hope you are beginning to see that. The only thing he will do is hurt you and your kids in the long run, once they start hitting they don't ever really stop, and you cant really take the chance that he wouldn't hit them to hurt you mow that he is out keep him out, and as for his family keep them put too. try and reach out to your family if you can, it would make it easier on you if you had their support however you have shown that you do have what it takes to do it on your own,
he's a control freak, I was married to one. The best thing to do is expose him to his and your family. Tell his family he hits you tell your family he hits you but do it in front of him. he is obsessively jealous which is a personality disorder. In the end I couldn't go to family either or friends. People stopped visiting me except one friend who stood up to him.
Don't take him back, he will never change even though he promises to do. I eventually divorced after 16 years of hell. He moved on , found another partner and hit her. She threw him out, he moved on found another woman and hit her, it was never ending. he has Alzheimers now and apparently he is violent with the staff in the home.
They make you feel that it is all your fault and you begin to lose confidence. I found that I began to walk with my eyes looking at the ground, I didn't dare have eye contact with anyone in case he accused me of having an affair. Eventually one day I cracked and flew at him pushing him across the room he lost his balance and fell doubled up at the back of the TV. then I exposed him for what he was, a bully. he then stopped his antics for a while but it was too late for me and I divorced.
With the additional details you have given, definitely do not have him back. You will feel guilty for a while but have the support of your family around you. he will NOT change, please trust me on that one. he may be nice for a few months then it will start again. if you are providing then you don't need a bullying parasite on your case. get rid. You'll find a better life, oh and don't marry again, the step situation very seldom works and causes more horrendous problems.
If you say the family know what he does, that makes him even worse, he has no shame. He will never till the day he dies stop bullying. If you take him back, you'll spend more awful years till finally you realise he won't change but the years have flown by, by then and you'll have wasted your life.
Furthermore, he sounds like a spoilt brat mummy's boy that always did and still does get his own way. If you take him back, it's a regular pattern for him...oh, smack her one she always takes me back anyway. What signals are you giving him? he can obviously do what he wants.
please do not take him back, will get worse, promise you that.
was once in same situation as yourself, but i got out, i do have a child from the man also but we have no contact anymore, everything goes through my family regards to my child on access agreement that was set out by a court.
the first few months will be hard your finding your self again but does get better. you need to not take him back as nothing will change, your kids will see how your being treated and think this is ok, and is what kinda relationships they will except and live with.
who knows he may end up hurting you so bad your put into hospital and being fed by tube or one the kids can be his next bunching bag resulting in death!
time to get back with your family, i know be hard but go speak to your parents, explain how cant do it alone and need their help. they will come around and help you out. you have done it on your own without his help so you don't need him, you can make new friends on chat rooms or friendship sites i.e. makefriendsonline
stay strong for your kids and wouldn't regret it will find better guy who wouldn't dream of putting a hand on you who respect you and love you, encourage you to have friends and your family around, instead controlling you and making him his property = owns you. why leave a man own you, you are your own boss so start making your own rules and living your own life as you please. good luck
Anyone that keeps you from your family - needs to get out of your life. He is a control freak. You did the right thing by kicking him out. Stop making excuses - he hasn't hit you since february. You want to be around for your kids, right? Whats to say the next time he doesn't permanently damage you physically or worse - kill you. Do you want your kids to grow up in the same relationship? At least give them a fighting chance by not going back into your abusive situation. Please don't settle for that! I know it sounds cliche, but it is so true - STOP THE CYCLE!
i feel you should divorce your husband because hitting someone is not love .also if hes taking money from you and not helping with household expenses you don't need him you can do bad by yourself. and you have children to think of they don't need to be in that kind of environment. and you have a daughter to think of. just think... would you want someone to treat your daughter the way your being treated? if the answer is no than its time to put your foot down and realize you are worth and deserve more. the way your husband act it sounds like hes the one cheating!! do not let no man hold you back !! he don't want you to progress and move up in life. you need to show him that you don't need him if he cant respect you and treat you like the queen you are than hes not the guy for you!!! please leave him hes holding you back and hes fully aware of what hes doing do not give him that power and control over you. that's why he do the things he do because hes thinking shes not going any where?, also he feels strongly that he can do whatever he wants and your going to except it !!! its time to prove him wrong and show him a new you a independent strong woman with an attitude!!!!! leave him
I am not saying you are lying but I find it hard to believe you were with this man for 4 years and he never acted like this until you and him got married 2 years ago.
You said he is telling you that you are not allowed to see your family unless he is with you, then further down in your question you said you have no family or friends.
If he is hitting you and making your life miserable why do you want him back? This is crazy.
You should really think of what is best for the children. Seeing him hit you and treat you bad is not a good environment for them to live in.
You should seek counseling and get the help you need to give you and your children a better life.
Hes a con-troll freak you shouldn't stat there i was with some 1 like that and he would hit me but it started to get very savour he doesn't wont you to drive because then he nos he wont have any power over you.you got to it here take this advise and walk are stay with him and live your life with some 1 who just sees you as some 1 he can bully and con troll and when he is accusindg you of cheating hes doing it him self
And his rised my daugther who is 5years old as his own.
We got married 2 years ago but every since things have not been the same.
I'm getting accused of cheating all the time, and His been hitting me for the last 3 years on and off, which he hasn't done since feburary this year. I loved him very much but He telling what i can do and not do, also his telling me that i'm not aloud to go my family unless his with me.
And also his telling me that i'm not aloud to drive a car or have driving lessons or have anything to do with a car. so for the past month his not been living with us coz i kicked him out but i'm feeling guilty and i want him back. I know what should do but its hard when u got kids and u love the person and they're the only person u have as family.
I don't have friends or family, just my kids and him. P.S I'M 26 AND HIS 26 AS WELL. TNKS REALLY NEED ADVICE ASAPBeen In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
That's what he's counting on. He isolates you from others to keep you dependent on him. There are shelters for battered women that can help you get your life back on track. Do not feel guilty . Do not take him back. That is no way to live your life or an atmosphere to raise your children in. It's not only you to be concerned about but your children.Been In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
Well, Life is tough I guess, Relationships always have their ups and downs, however the best advice I can give u, is to let him go. He is controlling ur life, and is far too strict on u. U dont want someone telling u what to do, well atleast i dont. But its ur choice. Are you okay, with him controlling over ur life, well the decision u make, will change ur life
Good luck x
Are you crazy? He has been hitting you for the last 3 years, wont let you do anything, not even drive a car.
You already have kicked him out, dont go back now. File for divorce.
Your kids DO NOT need to be in this environment.
Good luck.
Simple answer..
He IS VIOLENT -
YOU do not need to live like that -
HE will not change -
HE is overbearing and a control freak -
YOU WILL GET BADLY HURT - mentally and physically.
DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK - LEARN FROM THIS AND MOVE ON FROM IT....
HE WILL NOT CHANGE - and you know it.
well, he already crossed his limits. He hit you yesterday, he will hit you tomorrow. I suggest that you get financial independence through getting a job and file for divorce.
Get out before he really hurts you bad or kills you. Once the hitting starts, it does not stop.
he beats you...you need to leave him for good....
Ever since you got married he thinks he owns you, it is not a well talked about fact but there are fellas that think that once that wedding ring goes onto that finger you are there property to do with as they please. trust me had one.
I can tell you now for the sake of your kids you need to keep him out, for good. It will give your kids the wrong idea. how would you feel if your daughter grew up and got in with the same type of fella and stayed cause it is what you done. Or your son's grew up to think that it is ok to behave that way to women. You need to set an example for your kids and put yourself and you first.
This so called husband of yours is a Coward and a bully, he is not what anyone needs in there lives and I hope you are beginning to see that. The only thing he will do is hurt you and your kids in the long run, once they start hitting they don't ever really stop, and you cant really take the chance that he wouldn't hit them to hurt you mow that he is out keep him out, and as for his family keep them put too. try and reach out to your family if you can, it would make it easier on you if you had their support however you have shown that you do have what it takes to do it on your own,
he's a control freak, I was married to one. The best thing to do is expose him to his and your family. Tell his family he hits you tell your family he hits you but do it in front of him. he is obsessively jealous which is a personality disorder. In the end I couldn't go to family either or friends. People stopped visiting me except one friend who stood up to him.
Don't take him back, he will never change even though he promises to do. I eventually divorced after 16 years of hell. He moved on , found another partner and hit her. She threw him out, he moved on found another woman and hit her, it was never ending. he has Alzheimers now and apparently he is violent with the staff in the home.
They make you feel that it is all your fault and you begin to lose confidence. I found that I began to walk with my eyes looking at the ground, I didn't dare have eye contact with anyone in case he accused me of having an affair. Eventually one day I cracked and flew at him pushing him across the room he lost his balance and fell doubled up at the back of the TV. then I exposed him for what he was, a bully. he then stopped his antics for a while but it was too late for me and I divorced.
With the additional details you have given, definitely do not have him back. You will feel guilty for a while but have the support of your family around you. he will NOT change, please trust me on that one. he may be nice for a few months then it will start again. if you are providing then you don't need a bullying parasite on your case. get rid. You'll find a better life, oh and don't marry again, the step situation very seldom works and causes more horrendous problems.
If you say the family know what he does, that makes him even worse, he has no shame. He will never till the day he dies stop bullying. If you take him back, you'll spend more awful years till finally you realise he won't change but the years have flown by, by then and you'll have wasted your life.
Furthermore, he sounds like a spoilt brat mummy's boy that always did and still does get his own way. If you take him back, it's a regular pattern for him...oh, smack her one she always takes me back anyway. What signals are you giving him? he can obviously do what he wants.
please do not take him back, will get worse, promise you that.
was once in same situation as yourself, but i got out, i do have a child from the man also but we have no contact anymore, everything goes through my family regards to my child on access agreement that was set out by a court.
the first few months will be hard your finding your self again but does get better. you need to not take him back as nothing will change, your kids will see how your being treated and think this is ok, and is what kinda relationships they will except and live with.
who knows he may end up hurting you so bad your put into hospital and being fed by tube or one the kids can be his next bunching bag resulting in death!
time to get back with your family, i know be hard but go speak to your parents, explain how cant do it alone and need their help. they will come around and help you out. you have done it on your own without his help so you don't need him, you can make new friends on chat rooms or friendship sites i.e. makefriendsonline
stay strong for your kids and wouldn't regret it will find better guy who wouldn't dream of putting a hand on you who respect you and love you, encourage you to have friends and your family around, instead controlling you and making him his property = owns you. why leave a man own you, you are your own boss so start making your own rules and living your own life as you please. good luck
Anyone that keeps you from your family - needs to get out of your life. He is a control freak. You did the right thing by kicking him out. Stop making excuses - he hasn't hit you since february. You want to be around for your kids, right? Whats to say the next time he doesn't permanently damage you physically or worse - kill you. Do you want your kids to grow up in the same relationship? At least give them a fighting chance by not going back into your abusive situation. Please don't settle for that! I know it sounds cliche, but it is so true - STOP THE CYCLE!
i feel you should divorce your husband because hitting someone is not love .also if hes taking money from you and not helping with household expenses you don't need him you can do bad by yourself. and you have children to think of they don't need to be in that kind of environment. and you have a daughter to think of. just think... would you want someone to treat your daughter the way your being treated? if the answer is no than its time to put your foot down and realize you are worth and deserve more. the way your husband act it sounds like hes the one cheating!! do not let no man hold you back !! he don't want you to progress and move up in life. you need to show him that you don't need him if he cant respect you and treat you like the queen you are than hes not the guy for you!!! please leave him hes holding you back and hes fully aware of what hes doing do not give him that power and control over you. that's why he do the things he do because hes thinking shes not going any where?, also he feels strongly that he can do whatever he wants and your going to except it !!! its time to prove him wrong and show him a new you a independent strong woman with an attitude!!!!! leave him
I am not saying you are lying but I find it hard to believe you were with this man for 4 years and he never acted like this until you and him got married 2 years ago.
You said he is telling you that you are not allowed to see your family unless he is with you, then further down in your question you said you have no family or friends.
If he is hitting you and making your life miserable why do you want him back? This is crazy.
You should really think of what is best for the children. Seeing him hit you and treat you bad is not a good environment for them to live in.
You should seek counseling and get the help you need to give you and your children a better life.
Hes a con-troll freak you shouldn't stat there i was with some 1 like that and he would hit me but it started to get very savour he doesn't wont you to drive because then he nos he wont have any power over you.you got to it here take this advise and walk are stay with him and live your life with some 1 who just sees you as some 1 he can bully and con troll and when he is accusindg you of cheating hes doing it him self
24, come out of a relationship of 7 yrs and been made redundant. finding it hard. any advice?
only to try to keep cheerful. it'll get better.
visit friends and family cos they'll help!
good luck buddy24, come out of a relationship of 7 yrs and been made redundant. finding it hard. any advice?
23 and i just came out of a 8 year relationship and im going through the same thing. we moved in together and split up after just 6 months! we have been apart for 3 months now and i wish i could say it gets easier, but it doesnt cause of the little thing called love. my only advice is to stay busy. i work a little more overtime, spend time with friends and family, and if im extremly bored, i help my mom out with yardwork and painting and household projects. i traded my car in which was a gift to myself to cheer me up. i bought new cloths and colored my hair (i colored my hair dark cause he always liked it long and blonde) do little things for yourself and be selfish. go somewhere or do something that you otherwise wouldnt when you were in the relationship. if you find yourself alone and start to think about things, it sounds wierd, but i write a letter to him about everything im thinking. i dont give the letters to him, but it gives me a chance to blow off steam. good luck :)24, come out of a relationship of 7 yrs and been made redundant. finding it hard. any advice?
Take an interest in target pistols and after you are hired next, make sure everyone knows. Prayer is good.
Right .... here goes.... get a new job.... start applying now.... just get anything.... even a bar job to pass the time....
Then call up all your old friends and arrange to go out more.... Go to the gym and get fit.... book yourself a nice holiday.... and above all delet your EX from your mind.....
If you dont you will end up wollowing in you own sorrows .... and become very depressed .... It is much better to pick your self up brush your self off and get back on the horse .....
Good luck.....
Oh and if she has a sister .... sleep with her that will really get your EX's back up.....LOL
just enjoy youself, i know your obvioulsy finding it hard, but keep yourself occupied. perhaps get together with friends or family.
hope this has helped.... Good luck hun
things will be **** for a while but look at it as a turning point in your life your still young get a new job new partner in time and things will be cool again
Wow.......... a 7 year relationship and you're only 24........ that's a lot of time with someone during a time in your life that you do a lot of personal growing.
You have to look at it as a new adventure. You have changed a lot over the last 7 years. And the world has changed. Now is the time to see what you've been missing. Don't worry about finding someone new or any of that drama. Focus on YOU for now.... go out with friends, concentrate on your job, re-connect with old high school friends. Allow your heart time to heal. Cut off contact with your ex entirely... they will just drag you down. Mostly though...... have some FUN!
Good luck to you..............................
Ouch tha twould be hard, ok so you've been dealt a pretty low blow, My only advise is to immerse yourself in to other things.
Start looking for a job, even apply for the shitty ones where you'll know you'll get any interview. By doing this it'll help you practise your interview skills for when you go for the job you really want. Whether that be in the same indusrty or in a whole new industry all together is up to you. But know that you are a hard worker who is willing and wanting to work.
Once you have your new job the hours concerntrating on your new task may help your mind rest form the other problem and also be acting as a fresh start.
With that you may also want to start up something different as a hobby, maybe something you've alwaysed wanted to do but haven't yet.
And if worse comes to worse start up boxing and let your frustration do the talking whilst you become fitter.
Hope this may help you!!!
been there, you just need to look ahead and forget the past.
yeah just keep your chin up treacle, things will work themselves out if you keep going!
The biggest thing is dont let your self get to down about it go out and life live. be happy and stay positive. Life will move on i promise but you need to make it happen. Keep your head up i know you can.
Seek advise from Jesus and his Massive MIGHT!!! ...and marvel at his majesty!!
it will get better chin up x
Thank the heavens that you are out now and not 7 more years from now!
Yes, it is hard for all of us, even when we know it was not the best relationship -all the time and energy you invested. But now, spend some time on only what makes you happy - build yourself up a little (don't be selfish) and then you will be in an even better position to choose a great partner for the next round.
Yeah! Don't wallow in self pity - make an effort straight away to get back out there in work and social life - take a few days to yourself by all means but get out there early.
Whatever happens - look in the mirror and tell yourself it isn't your fault and hold your head up
only to keep your chin up, and dont let the b*s*a*rds grind you down, life is a challenge, and these times are sent to test. you are measured on how you react!!
Use this time as an opportunity to do what you have always wanted. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Sod it, change your career, move house, travel. Anything you want!
visit friends and family cos they'll help!
good luck buddy24, come out of a relationship of 7 yrs and been made redundant. finding it hard. any advice?
23 and i just came out of a 8 year relationship and im going through the same thing. we moved in together and split up after just 6 months! we have been apart for 3 months now and i wish i could say it gets easier, but it doesnt cause of the little thing called love. my only advice is to stay busy. i work a little more overtime, spend time with friends and family, and if im extremly bored, i help my mom out with yardwork and painting and household projects. i traded my car in which was a gift to myself to cheer me up. i bought new cloths and colored my hair (i colored my hair dark cause he always liked it long and blonde) do little things for yourself and be selfish. go somewhere or do something that you otherwise wouldnt when you were in the relationship. if you find yourself alone and start to think about things, it sounds wierd, but i write a letter to him about everything im thinking. i dont give the letters to him, but it gives me a chance to blow off steam. good luck :)24, come out of a relationship of 7 yrs and been made redundant. finding it hard. any advice?
Take an interest in target pistols and after you are hired next, make sure everyone knows. Prayer is good.
Right .... here goes.... get a new job.... start applying now.... just get anything.... even a bar job to pass the time....
Then call up all your old friends and arrange to go out more.... Go to the gym and get fit.... book yourself a nice holiday.... and above all delet your EX from your mind.....
If you dont you will end up wollowing in you own sorrows .... and become very depressed .... It is much better to pick your self up brush your self off and get back on the horse .....
Good luck.....
Oh and if she has a sister .... sleep with her that will really get your EX's back up.....LOL
just enjoy youself, i know your obvioulsy finding it hard, but keep yourself occupied. perhaps get together with friends or family.
hope this has helped.... Good luck hun
things will be **** for a while but look at it as a turning point in your life your still young get a new job new partner in time and things will be cool again
Wow.......... a 7 year relationship and you're only 24........ that's a lot of time with someone during a time in your life that you do a lot of personal growing.
You have to look at it as a new adventure. You have changed a lot over the last 7 years. And the world has changed. Now is the time to see what you've been missing. Don't worry about finding someone new or any of that drama. Focus on YOU for now.... go out with friends, concentrate on your job, re-connect with old high school friends. Allow your heart time to heal. Cut off contact with your ex entirely... they will just drag you down. Mostly though...... have some FUN!
Good luck to you..............................
Ouch tha twould be hard, ok so you've been dealt a pretty low blow, My only advise is to immerse yourself in to other things.
Start looking for a job, even apply for the shitty ones where you'll know you'll get any interview. By doing this it'll help you practise your interview skills for when you go for the job you really want. Whether that be in the same indusrty or in a whole new industry all together is up to you. But know that you are a hard worker who is willing and wanting to work.
Once you have your new job the hours concerntrating on your new task may help your mind rest form the other problem and also be acting as a fresh start.
With that you may also want to start up something different as a hobby, maybe something you've alwaysed wanted to do but haven't yet.
And if worse comes to worse start up boxing and let your frustration do the talking whilst you become fitter.
Hope this may help you!!!
been there, you just need to look ahead and forget the past.
yeah just keep your chin up treacle, things will work themselves out if you keep going!
The biggest thing is dont let your self get to down about it go out and life live. be happy and stay positive. Life will move on i promise but you need to make it happen. Keep your head up i know you can.
Seek advise from Jesus and his Massive MIGHT!!! ...and marvel at his majesty!!
it will get better chin up x
Thank the heavens that you are out now and not 7 more years from now!
Yes, it is hard for all of us, even when we know it was not the best relationship -all the time and energy you invested. But now, spend some time on only what makes you happy - build yourself up a little (don't be selfish) and then you will be in an even better position to choose a great partner for the next round.
Yeah! Don't wallow in self pity - make an effort straight away to get back out there in work and social life - take a few days to yourself by all means but get out there early.
Whatever happens - look in the mirror and tell yourself it isn't your fault and hold your head up
only to keep your chin up, and dont let the b*s*a*rds grind you down, life is a challenge, and these times are sent to test. you are measured on how you react!!
Use this time as an opportunity to do what you have always wanted. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Sod it, change your career, move house, travel. Anything you want!
I need advice on a very difficult relationship that I'm fed up with. Any thoughts?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. I care about him, but I'm so fed up. We have a 2 year old daughter and a one year old son together, as well as custody of his 6 year old son. He is working 3rd shift, and I work 1st shift. He recently moved his obnoxious friend into our house and I can't stand it. He stays up with the kids while I'm at work in the morning, and goes to bed when I get home. He won't help with any housework, he goes out on his nights off, and I'm always stuck at home unless I take my kids with me. I get up every morning to take his son to school, and pick him up from work. His son treats me like ****, he doesn't even see his real mom. My boyfriend always wants to fight, he makes me feel like crap. I'm scheduled for surgery for the pain I've been having, and I'm sick, but he doesn't care. He doesn't help with the housework, and neither does his friend. The same dishes he said he would do almost a week ago are still there, he wouldn't even take the garbage I tied up out to the shed. He neglects the kids to play video games, and he won't even find out what's wrong with our car so we can give his parent's car back to them, which we have had for 4 months now. I'm so fed up, I'm sick of fighting, and this whole situation is killing me. I've never been with anyone else or even lived by myself, and I don't know how to do it. I doubt I can even afford to live by myself. I have no one to help me either. Any thoughts? Should I make him leave?I need advice on a very difficult relationship that I'm fed up with. Any thoughts?
HOLY KRIST DO YOU NEED AND EXTRA STRENGTH BOTTLE OF MIDOL OR WHATI need advice on a very difficult relationship that I'm fed up with. Any thoughts?
How old is he? Leave him, take your two kids. Child support, foodstamps, section 8, medicaid. Pray.
Well if the relationship lasted this long there might be something there to fix it.I mean your schedules are mixed up mess so i mean there is no you and him time witch makes it difficult to spend time together. If there is any time find it and rock his world. i think he misses that one on one time and having his friend there is even more stress. he needs to understand you have a family together that is top priority not his friend. i don't think a relationship like that that has lasted so long needs to be broken. just try to find time and spend it together or as a family i think and hope everything works out.
You should talk it out with him. Tell him what you want changed. You don't want him to change everything, but if at least if he starts doing things that will make your life happier then it won't be as big of a deal. If he doesn't care or agree with your terms after that then it would be wise just to take your kids and leave for a little bit. Clear out your head and decide if you should end it for good.
If you do get up and leave for a little bit, it'll give him time to think about it as well.
Start putting money aside in a private secret account.
Have you told any friends or family about your situation? Does your company offer an EAP program, ask human resources, if your company does you can get some free counseling (all types finance, personal...).
Check for some forums online for single mothers or parents and see what you can find out there. There might be another mother out there that has a home, and with these economic times, and need to rent out a room for you and your two kids?
Good luck, don't give up. And don't pay attention to idiots that reply to your question with moronic responses about midol...they are trashy.
HOLY KRIST DO YOU NEED AND EXTRA STRENGTH BOTTLE OF MIDOL OR WHATI need advice on a very difficult relationship that I'm fed up with. Any thoughts?
How old is he? Leave him, take your two kids. Child support, foodstamps, section 8, medicaid. Pray.
Well if the relationship lasted this long there might be something there to fix it.I mean your schedules are mixed up mess so i mean there is no you and him time witch makes it difficult to spend time together. If there is any time find it and rock his world. i think he misses that one on one time and having his friend there is even more stress. he needs to understand you have a family together that is top priority not his friend. i don't think a relationship like that that has lasted so long needs to be broken. just try to find time and spend it together or as a family i think and hope everything works out.
You should talk it out with him. Tell him what you want changed. You don't want him to change everything, but if at least if he starts doing things that will make your life happier then it won't be as big of a deal. If he doesn't care or agree with your terms after that then it would be wise just to take your kids and leave for a little bit. Clear out your head and decide if you should end it for good.
If you do get up and leave for a little bit, it'll give him time to think about it as well.
Start putting money aside in a private secret account.
Have you told any friends or family about your situation? Does your company offer an EAP program, ask human resources, if your company does you can get some free counseling (all types finance, personal...).
Check for some forums online for single mothers or parents and see what you can find out there. There might be another mother out there that has a home, and with these economic times, and need to rent out a room for you and your two kids?
Good luck, don't give up. And don't pay attention to idiots that reply to your question with moronic responses about midol...they are trashy.
I need advice about a complicated love relationship?
I am so in love with my step-brother it hurts.
Really.
He is like one of my best friends now too and my mom and his dad have been together for like 5-6 years (so there's no chance of them breaking up) and the more time I spend with my bro the more i love him.
I keep hoping it will just go away because I have no chance with him. He has a gf and his world revolves around her. And like sometimes he brings up like whenever my friends joke about him and i being together (alot of my friends are clueless bc they dnt even no I like him) he like goes like eww thts incest she's like my sister. so yea no sparks with him. but i love him sooo much. There was this once that he randomly brought up if we would still talk if our rents broke up and I said of course then he just nodded and walked away. And sometimes I catch him staring at me. And he cares for me more then he does my little brothers (no offense to them). Sometimes I wonder if he likes me a little.
It doesnt help that I get so tounge-tied around him and im not myself. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to quit feeling the way I do about him but its so complicated.
Srry it was so confusing to read.
Someone plz plz plz plz help me!!I need advice about a complicated love relationship?
i know it seems like the end of the world, but you have to forget about him. maybe you like him a lot because you're so incredibly close with him and in your mind, you don't SEE him as a brother but thats how it will always be. There are plentyyy of other fish in the sea, you just are going to have to look elsewhere. keep telling yourself he's your brother and you might just love him as a brother since there are no sparks. goodluckI need advice about a complicated love relationship?
u should probably talk to someone about that. That kinda thing isn't good to hold inside. definitely not good.
I know, you live with this incredible hot guy and he's right there all the time, and it would be SO incredible if something was going on, and it gives you shivers every time you look at him.
But, Ok, look at it like this - say you were single and he was not your step. You know him in school, NOT your step brother, and you really liked him, and he didn't hate you, but oh no, he had a girlfriend.
Your friends look at you and see you swooning every time he walks past, but you don't notice that they notice because you are too busy crushing.
He knows you are crushing on him too (sweetie, it's obvious, you aren't hiding anything) but he has a gf, so he just wants to be friends to you. Maybe if he was free, but he isn't. He is spoken for, so you can't get him. If that was not true, maybe you could, but wet cold reality is splashing you in the face - you can't have him, and not because he is your step brother, but because he doesn't want you, he wants his girlfriend. Sure, he thinks you are ok, but not gf material.
It would NOT be incest if things were different - he is not a genetic relative. But things are what they are.
So, what do you do about it? You go sit on his bed, and you tell him that you have been having this rough time. Let him close the door on a relationship. You try to see him as more than just the hot guy who is not your relative, but a whole person. You learn more about him instead of trying to push him away (that doesn't work). You be a loving and caring sister who cares what is best for him, rather than how freaking awesome it would be to just rip off all his clothes and get down with it... ahem. Do what you can to help him with his girlfriend. Yeah, i know, it's like using hot branding irons on yourself, but helping him will help you be a friend instead of a lover. Then look around at other guys. Yeah they aren't him, but they are people too, and deserve a chance.homemade blackheads
Really.
He is like one of my best friends now too and my mom and his dad have been together for like 5-6 years (so there's no chance of them breaking up) and the more time I spend with my bro the more i love him.
I keep hoping it will just go away because I have no chance with him. He has a gf and his world revolves around her. And like sometimes he brings up like whenever my friends joke about him and i being together (alot of my friends are clueless bc they dnt even no I like him) he like goes like eww thts incest she's like my sister. so yea no sparks with him. but i love him sooo much. There was this once that he randomly brought up if we would still talk if our rents broke up and I said of course then he just nodded and walked away. And sometimes I catch him staring at me. And he cares for me more then he does my little brothers (no offense to them). Sometimes I wonder if he likes me a little.
It doesnt help that I get so tounge-tied around him and im not myself. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to quit feeling the way I do about him but its so complicated.
Srry it was so confusing to read.
Someone plz plz plz plz help me!!I need advice about a complicated love relationship?
i know it seems like the end of the world, but you have to forget about him. maybe you like him a lot because you're so incredibly close with him and in your mind, you don't SEE him as a brother but thats how it will always be. There are plentyyy of other fish in the sea, you just are going to have to look elsewhere. keep telling yourself he's your brother and you might just love him as a brother since there are no sparks. goodluckI need advice about a complicated love relationship?
u should probably talk to someone about that. That kinda thing isn't good to hold inside. definitely not good.
I know, you live with this incredible hot guy and he's right there all the time, and it would be SO incredible if something was going on, and it gives you shivers every time you look at him.
But, Ok, look at it like this - say you were single and he was not your step. You know him in school, NOT your step brother, and you really liked him, and he didn't hate you, but oh no, he had a girlfriend.
Your friends look at you and see you swooning every time he walks past, but you don't notice that they notice because you are too busy crushing.
He knows you are crushing on him too (sweetie, it's obvious, you aren't hiding anything) but he has a gf, so he just wants to be friends to you. Maybe if he was free, but he isn't. He is spoken for, so you can't get him. If that was not true, maybe you could, but wet cold reality is splashing you in the face - you can't have him, and not because he is your step brother, but because he doesn't want you, he wants his girlfriend. Sure, he thinks you are ok, but not gf material.
It would NOT be incest if things were different - he is not a genetic relative. But things are what they are.
So, what do you do about it? You go sit on his bed, and you tell him that you have been having this rough time. Let him close the door on a relationship. You try to see him as more than just the hot guy who is not your relative, but a whole person. You learn more about him instead of trying to push him away (that doesn't work). You be a loving and caring sister who cares what is best for him, rather than how freaking awesome it would be to just rip off all his clothes and get down with it... ahem. Do what you can to help him with his girlfriend. Yeah, i know, it's like using hot branding irons on yourself, but helping him will help you be a friend instead of a lover. Then look around at other guys. Yeah they aren't him, but they are people too, and deserve a chance.
Ex Girl advice Entering back into a relationship?
about 2 years ago this girl and i started the school year and were naturally attracted to each other. We were pretty close but never going out, so we continued to just be friends. Some months later i was faced with reality and i hadn't made a move and she had moved on, pretty much closing all communication, Messenger blocked barely talked in school. I sent roses to say sorry and how i wish things worked out but had her friend come up to me and tell me no, which was i think low. though i would always find her looking at me.
Fast Forwarding about a week ago, she unblocked me, starting small talk again in person, and still eye contact casually. I can't decide if she does indeed like me still or not, i am not shy in the sense i don't' talk much, i am very outgoing, but when it comes to her i can't seem to ever find the right words to approach. What advice can you give me :DEx Girl advice Entering back into a relationship?
She might feel the same way you do, or like she made a mistake. She might be trying to talk to you so she can be friends. Either way, don't blow her off but make sure she isn't trying to hurt you first. Talk to her casually and try to figure out what she's trying to say.Ex Girl advice Entering back into a relationship?
actions say a lot....she unblocking you on the messenger says a lot about how she feels about you...since she's not ready to verbally express her feelings, unblocking you is her way of letting u re-enter into her life...go slow, and yes she's interested, don't send anymore roses....save that for later
Fast Forwarding about a week ago, she unblocked me, starting small talk again in person, and still eye contact casually. I can't decide if she does indeed like me still or not, i am not shy in the sense i don't' talk much, i am very outgoing, but when it comes to her i can't seem to ever find the right words to approach. What advice can you give me :DEx Girl advice Entering back into a relationship?
She might feel the same way you do, or like she made a mistake. She might be trying to talk to you so she can be friends. Either way, don't blow her off but make sure she isn't trying to hurt you first. Talk to her casually and try to figure out what she's trying to say.Ex Girl advice Entering back into a relationship?
actions say a lot....she unblocking you on the messenger says a lot about how she feels about you...since she's not ready to verbally express her feelings, unblocking you is her way of letting u re-enter into her life...go slow, and yes she's interested, don't send anymore roses....save that for later
Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
Ok well im realy not enjoyeing rideing horses any more, i show and even train my own horses. wich are both things I realy realy love to do. But it seems like my mom is putting to much pressure on me, and its gotten so bad that im just not haveing fun any more.
Even my mare that ive been training for showing, who is eh main horse i ride and i love her to death. She has just lost all teh spirit she once had and just seems like she is not enjoying herself any more. she ust to be exciteing, happy and loveing. Ad i even feel like are relationship is brakeing
I do plan on quitting 4-h wich is where alot of the pressure from my mom is comeing from and maybe that will help. Any ideas on how i can help build are relationship again? Any ideas on how i can express to my mom how i feel? ive tried to talk to her before but it ended upw ith her blowing up in my face and caling me a spoiled brat.Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
Well you could sort your spelling out!
Maybe you should explain to your mum that you are grateful for all that she has done for you and your horses but you just want to take it at your own pace and do what YOU want with them for a while.
Maybe you could have a bit of a break from riding for a while, to see whether you would miss it or not be bothered.
I know you may not want to but you could just spend time with your horse, not riding for a while, just grooming and talking to her etc. Getting to know each other better.
Hope this helped you and good luck!Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
For building back your relationship with the horse, You can spend more time hanging out with her, giving her treats, grooming her and finding her special scratching place :) Try to spend alot of time with her.
And for your Mom..Just try and calmly explain that it's a fun sport, and that pressuring you makes it hard for you to ride and compete. That just being supportive, and not pressuring will make riding easier!
Being able to ride is one of the greatest gifts you will ever get in your life, and I know because I have ridden for such a long time, then had to sell my beloved horse as my parents company went down due to the economy.
I know how u feel, I went through that too, and so did many of my friends. But honeslty, its not worth giving up the best thing that has happened to u. Apart from that, if u do love ur horse so much, quitting riding and selling ur horse will be something that u will regret for ur entire life.
Speak to your mom. Tell her how u feel, tell her u dont want to quit but that u want to get rid of that innecessary pressure, because that is whats taking the joy out of something that is more than just a hobby.
But please, dont stop riding. It is such a waste. Once u've stopped, u will realise what u had. Then it will be even harder to start again, because maybe ur mom wont let u start again. And whats worse, leaving something u love because of pressure (where all u really need to do is have some serious talk to ur mom), or not being able to get back something so precious that u gave away?
think about it, and good luck.
I know this has nothing to do with ur original question, but i felt i had to tell u because i miss riding and my horse with every passing day and it does not get better.
About ur mare, once u become who u used to be, she will become who she used to be. Horses tell alot about their owner, and the state they are currently in.
Write your mom a letter and explain to her just what you said here. I was in 4H and my daughter was too. I made a point not to push her too hard and tho she loves horses, she decided not to show any more and do something else. I still have horses, ride and compete when I can but you're right, if you have too much pressure to ride and do something you're not wanting to do, it's not fun anymore and it will reflect on your riding and/or showing. Maybe you should consider doing some other event besides showing with your horse or just go ride some trails. All this is good even for a show horse.. just to get out and go relax and enjoy. Good luck!
I would be very honest and upfront with her and talk to her like an adult.
Mention things like, ';I greatly appreciate everything you have done for me to bring me to this point, but I feel we are heading in different directions...'; ';I love horses and I enjoy riding them, but I need a friend by my side, not an instructor...';
Don't leave her completely out of the loop, but just explain that you feel she is trying to be too directly involved. I would let her know that you enjoy her company, would enjoy if she would continue to help you out, etc. but ask if she could be a little less controlling as these are YOUR dreams, not hers.
As for building up the relationship with your horse again, think back to when you guys did enjoy it. What were things you did together that made it fun? Was it trail rides...just hanging out? Try to do those things again, and I am sure you will be back in sync before you know it :)
WOW, I remember that. My mom was like that. I got burnt out after have NUMEROUS bad luck with some horses. And i just wanted to trail ride for awhile. So my mom stopped paying my board and I lost my horse. I took a break about 2yrs...now I live on my own and i bought another horse. and its GREAT. Sometimes you need a break. To just collect yourself again. Parents have a hard time understanding that so I dont know what to tell you there. If its not fun you have to try and make it fun again. I even asked my mom ';if i sold my horse would that make our relationship better?';
As far as your, Bond goes...stop stressing out go out on a hack do some fun gaming shows and try new tricks new disciplines anything.
good luck
There's a Monty Roberts book that dealt with this. I can't remember which one, but when he was young his show pony lost all it's spirit, and what I think he did was just cut down riding time, and do some things the hors would enjoy, other than constant schooling.
Maybe you should try some hacking, jumping, even pony games and see if your horse enjoys these activities more, just to take a break from your usual routine. Even some time off in the pasture could be what she needs to regenerate.
Good luck with her :)
She's probably upset that she spent several thousands of dollars on this ';hobby'; and now you don't want anything to do with it anymore.
I'm sure I would be upset too. Maybe you people should sell the horse.
Even my mare that ive been training for showing, who is eh main horse i ride and i love her to death. She has just lost all teh spirit she once had and just seems like she is not enjoying herself any more. she ust to be exciteing, happy and loveing. Ad i even feel like are relationship is brakeing
I do plan on quitting 4-h wich is where alot of the pressure from my mom is comeing from and maybe that will help. Any ideas on how i can help build are relationship again? Any ideas on how i can express to my mom how i feel? ive tried to talk to her before but it ended upw ith her blowing up in my face and caling me a spoiled brat.Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
Well you could sort your spelling out!
Maybe you should explain to your mum that you are grateful for all that she has done for you and your horses but you just want to take it at your own pace and do what YOU want with them for a while.
Maybe you could have a bit of a break from riding for a while, to see whether you would miss it or not be bothered.
I know you may not want to but you could just spend time with your horse, not riding for a while, just grooming and talking to her etc. Getting to know each other better.
Hope this helped you and good luck!Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
For building back your relationship with the horse, You can spend more time hanging out with her, giving her treats, grooming her and finding her special scratching place :) Try to spend alot of time with her.
And for your Mom..Just try and calmly explain that it's a fun sport, and that pressuring you makes it hard for you to ride and compete. That just being supportive, and not pressuring will make riding easier!
Being able to ride is one of the greatest gifts you will ever get in your life, and I know because I have ridden for such a long time, then had to sell my beloved horse as my parents company went down due to the economy.
I know how u feel, I went through that too, and so did many of my friends. But honeslty, its not worth giving up the best thing that has happened to u. Apart from that, if u do love ur horse so much, quitting riding and selling ur horse will be something that u will regret for ur entire life.
Speak to your mom. Tell her how u feel, tell her u dont want to quit but that u want to get rid of that innecessary pressure, because that is whats taking the joy out of something that is more than just a hobby.
But please, dont stop riding. It is such a waste. Once u've stopped, u will realise what u had. Then it will be even harder to start again, because maybe ur mom wont let u start again. And whats worse, leaving something u love because of pressure (where all u really need to do is have some serious talk to ur mom), or not being able to get back something so precious that u gave away?
think about it, and good luck.
I know this has nothing to do with ur original question, but i felt i had to tell u because i miss riding and my horse with every passing day and it does not get better.
About ur mare, once u become who u used to be, she will become who she used to be. Horses tell alot about their owner, and the state they are currently in.
Write your mom a letter and explain to her just what you said here. I was in 4H and my daughter was too. I made a point not to push her too hard and tho she loves horses, she decided not to show any more and do something else. I still have horses, ride and compete when I can but you're right, if you have too much pressure to ride and do something you're not wanting to do, it's not fun anymore and it will reflect on your riding and/or showing. Maybe you should consider doing some other event besides showing with your horse or just go ride some trails. All this is good even for a show horse.. just to get out and go relax and enjoy. Good luck!
I would be very honest and upfront with her and talk to her like an adult.
Mention things like, ';I greatly appreciate everything you have done for me to bring me to this point, but I feel we are heading in different directions...'; ';I love horses and I enjoy riding them, but I need a friend by my side, not an instructor...';
Don't leave her completely out of the loop, but just explain that you feel she is trying to be too directly involved. I would let her know that you enjoy her company, would enjoy if she would continue to help you out, etc. but ask if she could be a little less controlling as these are YOUR dreams, not hers.
As for building up the relationship with your horse again, think back to when you guys did enjoy it. What were things you did together that made it fun? Was it trail rides...just hanging out? Try to do those things again, and I am sure you will be back in sync before you know it :)
WOW, I remember that. My mom was like that. I got burnt out after have NUMEROUS bad luck with some horses. And i just wanted to trail ride for awhile. So my mom stopped paying my board and I lost my horse. I took a break about 2yrs...now I live on my own and i bought another horse. and its GREAT. Sometimes you need a break. To just collect yourself again. Parents have a hard time understanding that so I dont know what to tell you there. If its not fun you have to try and make it fun again. I even asked my mom ';if i sold my horse would that make our relationship better?';
As far as your, Bond goes...stop stressing out go out on a hack do some fun gaming shows and try new tricks new disciplines anything.
good luck
There's a Monty Roberts book that dealt with this. I can't remember which one, but when he was young his show pony lost all it's spirit, and what I think he did was just cut down riding time, and do some things the hors would enjoy, other than constant schooling.
Maybe you should try some hacking, jumping, even pony games and see if your horse enjoys these activities more, just to take a break from your usual routine. Even some time off in the pasture could be what she needs to regenerate.
Good luck with her :)
She's probably upset that she spent several thousands of dollars on this ';hobby'; and now you don't want anything to do with it anymore.
I'm sure I would be upset too. Maybe you people should sell the horse.
Any advice for a long-distance relationship?
My girlfriend and I are about to enter a five year period of long distance relationship. I'm going to college this year and she's leaving next year. Yes, we're very young, but we're also very much in love and we are going to work as hard as humanly possible (and harder if need be) to keep this going. We know it'll be hard, but we are very optimistic about it. We've agreed that if we get through these five years we'll spend maybe half a year together and then think about getting married. Does anybody have any tips or advice for us? Do you think our long-term plan is reasonable? Thanks a lot!Any advice for a long-distance relationship?
It really depends on how long you two have been together now. before the two of you go your ways how long were you together in the same area? I believe that anything is possible and having a possitive attitude will make this easy . If you start doubting that it wont work then you guys will have many problems. Do you fully trust each other?? Trust is the main thing in an LDR. if you cant trust the other person to be faithful then your relationship might as well end now because it will drive you both crazy. If you have love for each other and can handle the ups and downs of a local relationship then an LDR will not harm it but make it stronger in the sense that this is the big test in weather or not it will last. Remember keep your head up and if issues pop up always stop to think first before reacting and it will work for the both of you. It takes two so make sure she is in it 100% as well as you. IF only one is working to keep it alive then it will fail as well. Write, call and if it is possible to visit each other for like holidays and such then do that as well. Best luck to you both :)Any advice for a long-distance relationship?
advice: breakup or get married now
I would suggested waiting longer for marriage. no need to rush, the commitment of just being together should be enough. also, when you guys leave for college a huge part of it is learning to fend for yourselves, so I also suggested you both having separate places for a while before each of you are self-sufficient. then maybe move in together if things are working out.
A HUGE help for my longdistance relationship when it was longdistance is skype.com, if you guys have webcams it is really nice to be able to see eachother and it's also a speaker thing so it's pretty close to being in person. it helps.
It really depends on how long you two have been together now. before the two of you go your ways how long were you together in the same area? I believe that anything is possible and having a possitive attitude will make this easy . If you start doubting that it wont work then you guys will have many problems. Do you fully trust each other?? Trust is the main thing in an LDR. if you cant trust the other person to be faithful then your relationship might as well end now because it will drive you both crazy. If you have love for each other and can handle the ups and downs of a local relationship then an LDR will not harm it but make it stronger in the sense that this is the big test in weather or not it will last. Remember keep your head up and if issues pop up always stop to think first before reacting and it will work for the both of you. It takes two so make sure she is in it 100% as well as you. IF only one is working to keep it alive then it will fail as well. Write, call and if it is possible to visit each other for like holidays and such then do that as well. Best luck to you both :)Any advice for a long-distance relationship?
advice: breakup or get married now
I would suggested waiting longer for marriage. no need to rush, the commitment of just being together should be enough. also, when you guys leave for college a huge part of it is learning to fend for yourselves, so I also suggested you both having separate places for a while before each of you are self-sufficient. then maybe move in together if things are working out.
A HUGE help for my longdistance relationship when it was longdistance is skype.com, if you guys have webcams it is really nice to be able to see eachother and it's also a speaker thing so it's pretty close to being in person. it helps.
How do i deal with being in a relationship with someone in the military? should i take a chance? NEED ADVICE?
I just started talking to this guy he is a drill instructor for the marines he ask me to call him anytime but he misses my call or when he calls he could only talk for 20 -30 minutes and then go back to work he barely gets a day off sometimes a few hours off I work on the same base with him i see him marching his platoon or running with the recruits so i will see him sometimes i'm not used to this i need some advice on how to handle it i don't want to back out on him but not hearing from him or seeing him drives me crazy it makes me feel like he does'nt care i know it's not his fault and people keep telling me that drill instructors are dogs and they treat their women bad how will i know that he's not trying to take advantage of me?How do i deal with being in a relationship with someone in the military? should i take a chance? NEED ADVICE?
He is also a human being having that soft corner for love. The only problem is that his work schedule does not allow him to call you or really spend time with you. I am sure - he would also get a long leave from his work once or twice a year - and thats the time to find out how much he is into you or not. give some time and space for him as well. If he is into you - he would call up once in a while though and talk to you as much possible over phone. Try meet up with him on his weekly off and see whats in for store for real
He is also a human being having that soft corner for love. The only problem is that his work schedule does not allow him to call you or really spend time with you. I am sure - he would also get a long leave from his work once or twice a year - and thats the time to find out how much he is into you or not. give some time and space for him as well. If he is into you - he would call up once in a while though and talk to you as much possible over phone. Try meet up with him on his weekly off and see whats in for store for real
Could you pls advice regd. getting a girl for relationship!!!!!!!!!?
Hi! Im from asia. Now i came to western world for studies . im a good guy and i respect girls. I want to live in this culture because i believe in this culture. But the problem is , i don know how to get a girl as a girlfriend and find my ultimate soulmate. So i decided to meet girls in the disco. but the problem is whenever i want to talk to a girl, they either think that im only expecting sex and not anymore and they just leave the place... I don know how to? is there any specific steps to convey to them that im jus fine and want to be in normal relationship??? I actually don understand the procedures here i think... help me pls.
Thanks for reading this.Could you pls advice regd. getting a girl for relationship!!!!!!!!!?
awww trust me when the times come you'll find that girl, who will see the true you. Just wait and you'll get one.Could you pls advice regd. getting a girl for relationship!!!!!!!!!?
well ur welcome 4 reading it! u can repay me with a best answer j/p
well i personally think ur not looking at the rite place u should go 2 like church or the mall or somewhere where they wont judge u realx u will find the rite gurl soon!
Most girls think you only expect sex because, generally in America that's the only thing most males want (I'm not saying all do, but most do). So when you start talking to a girl as a place like a club or bar - they think that because that's what most guys in those places want. So here's my advice to meeting a girl who won't think that. If you want a serious relatioinship, go to a place like a library or the park, or a community help center. The girls there will generally be smart and kind and caring. But if you meet a girl you like, don't just expect to get in a relationship. First you need to get to know her, and become good friends with her. When you feel the time is right, ask her out - like to a fun/romantic place (not just the movies or to dinner, that's so typical here and boring). Ask her to have lunch as a picnic in a park or something fun like that. Eventually you'll go to dinner and stuff like that. But don't expect anything physical like sex for a while, if you're in the relationship get to know eachother more thoroughly - eventually that stuff will happen. But you need to be aware of Sexually Transmitted Diseases before you do, make sure she doesn't have any, let her know you don't if you don't, take all the safety precautions - STD's are pretty big in here in America, I'm not sure how they are in Asia, but you definitely need to be aware of them here. The most important thing in a relationship here is to be yourself, honesty, loyalty, communication, and the ability to resist tempation. Don't expect it to neccessarily work out forever with the first girl you meet, it make take a few tries. Well I hope this helps and take care!
Thanks for reading this.Could you pls advice regd. getting a girl for relationship!!!!!!!!!?
awww trust me when the times come you'll find that girl, who will see the true you. Just wait and you'll get one.Could you pls advice regd. getting a girl for relationship!!!!!!!!!?
well ur welcome 4 reading it! u can repay me with a best answer j/p
well i personally think ur not looking at the rite place u should go 2 like church or the mall or somewhere where they wont judge u realx u will find the rite gurl soon!
Most girls think you only expect sex because, generally in America that's the only thing most males want (I'm not saying all do, but most do). So when you start talking to a girl as a place like a club or bar - they think that because that's what most guys in those places want. So here's my advice to meeting a girl who won't think that. If you want a serious relatioinship, go to a place like a library or the park, or a community help center. The girls there will generally be smart and kind and caring. But if you meet a girl you like, don't just expect to get in a relationship. First you need to get to know her, and become good friends with her. When you feel the time is right, ask her out - like to a fun/romantic place (not just the movies or to dinner, that's so typical here and boring). Ask her to have lunch as a picnic in a park or something fun like that. Eventually you'll go to dinner and stuff like that. But don't expect anything physical like sex for a while, if you're in the relationship get to know eachother more thoroughly - eventually that stuff will happen. But you need to be aware of Sexually Transmitted Diseases before you do, make sure she doesn't have any, let her know you don't if you don't, take all the safety precautions - STD's are pretty big in here in America, I'm not sure how they are in Asia, but you definitely need to be aware of them here. The most important thing in a relationship here is to be yourself, honesty, loyalty, communication, and the ability to resist tempation. Don't expect it to neccessarily work out forever with the first girl you meet, it make take a few tries. Well I hope this helps and take care!
Need advice and opinions on my relationship.?
I want to know what people think about this. My girlfriend and I have been fighting about me being on date sites and me talking to females. I have told her that the reason I was ever on them was b/c I found out she was on a date site and actually on other places looking for men. However, I know the sites were b4 us but she still had one up and others that she still has. Some are not date sites but she is saying stuff on the sites that show she is looking. I have told her about them and we have argued a LOT about them and she finally deleted ONE site but she doesn't know that I know about a lot of the others. She says she doesn't even think about it but when I remind her about it she just gets pissed. I have deleted females off of my yahoo messenger and one even deleted me from myspace. The females I delelted, i've never been intimate with in anyway...except an ex girlfriend I had added b/c she has countless ex's on her messenger but i've deleted her and told them all that it was causing problems in my relationship. The other day she got upset b/c I have everyone under family but I did not do that purposely...they all just got added to that category. I never put people in a category. So she was upset about that. So today I was on her messenger and noticed that the guy who was telling her that he wished it was him that made her happy...is under family. I wish she would just get rid of her ex men and be totally commited to me. But you see, she was just giving me grief over the people being in the family list when she has the guy she was with under family. She also has some guy on her messenger that according to an email i read of hers...she had it pretty bad for him but he called her a HO in the email I read, but she still has him on her messenger. She said they were all blocked and that the only reason they were still on her messenger was b/c if she deleted them, they could contact her and this way she can be invisible to them. Made sense at first but then I noticed that the men are not on her block list nor is she permanantly invisible to them. My opinion is that she is keeping them on the line just in case we don't work out but I don't see us going forward when she has her head in the past with all her ex's. She is also mad at my sister b/c she thinks my sister doesn't like her and she is right. My sister thinks she is playing a game and my sis knows about the sites she's on...she's the one who found them and told me about them. I know my sis can be a...well you know, but I know they just want me to be happy and they think that she is not being honest and truthful with me. Yeah, they. I guess it's most of my family that wants me to see that she is not really wanting me and that I should just walk away. I love her though and can't just walk away and she says that she loves me but it seems like everytime we argue she says that she doesn't love me and that I need to just go back to Oklahoma. We argued the other night about the messages she has saved from the men she was with or talking about being with and than it turned to arguing about the guy she was with right before me, who by the way still calls and she gave the new number to the house. When she told me to go home...and we were arguing about him...she told me that she was going to go **** him that night. I got upset and asked why she was telling me this and than I said something I shouldn't have...I told her that if she f-ing told me that again....I was going to knock her out. I can't believe that I said that and I apologized and told her that I was pissed and hurt. So you see this is really confusing me and me saying **** like im going to knock you out is not a good thing. There is sooooo much more to this but I will more than likely ask more in another question. Thank you to the lady who answered my first question about ex's. And thank you to all who answer this and give me some advice and opinions.Need advice and opinions on my relationship.?
You both sound like you're ';right fighters'; and more interested in proving yourself right and the other person wrong than you are in making this relationship work.
Neither of you should be on dating sites period. Profiles CAN be deleted and SHOULD be deleted once you enter a relationship. The ';If you can do it, I can do it'; mentality is very childish and it sounds like this problem has taken over your ';relationship';. Perhaps you shouldn't be together. You both have trust issues and neither of you appear to be trying to change that.
Some relationships seem to thrive on drama because that's about the only thing holding them together. This sounds like one of those situations!Need advice and opinions on my relationship.?
she is eating up your precious energy a way too much . you need to know that she is playing with you.
how?
she knows you get jealous of her talking to anohter guys. and she is not going to stop it. cause thats your weakness. if she s a *****, shes gonna keep hurting you at this same point over and over until you die or let her go.
she wants to be free from your influence.
and you cant do nothing about it. love. or hate.
she will change according to her needs and wants. not yours.
let this ***** go, settle with someone who wants to settle with you( but, if you not want to settle with a girl who want to settle with you, then what would you tell her.? nothing right - you will start to find excuses or ways to push her off the cliff ---
thats what is vicious cycle of life)
its all about either your heart or her heart.
only very few find soul mates. and after that there will be no search.
The End
OH MY YOU JUST WROTE A BOOK, lol.
You sound like a very sweet and honest man. I know you are in love with your current gf. How long have you been with her? How old are you two? Honestly I would just listen to your family on this one. Your current gf sounds like she isn't truthful and she is just toying with you. She should never ever say that she is going to go and f u c k another guy, thats just very wrong. You honestly sound like a guy who can get a better girl who can treat you better. Love hurts and it is hard to break up but in the end you will feel better.
Also your gf sounds like a girl who has some kind of issue. From experience and other ppl who I know, blame other ppl for doing what they were doing (if that makes sense). like example, my best friend was in a relationship with this guy and this guy kept saying to her ';You are two timing me, you have another bf and I have met him';. My best friend never ever had another bf and she didn't two time him but in the end he was the one who had another girlfriend.. you know what i mean now?
There are a lot of other girls out there and with your personality you will find a girl who will make you happy..
this relationship seems like a lot of work. you shouldn't be dealing with this because 1. she won't let you have ex's added or friends, but she can have them added? not fair. 2. she's got dating sites on and she still has them up, but she's worried about you cheating? and 3. she's lied about blocking them and taking down dating websites.
you should dump her immediately. if she really did love you she wouldn't be doing this. a relationship has no work. it should be easy and you shouldn't have fights like this. it's not always going to be perfect but this isn't how a fight between a couple should be. i'm sorry but she doesn't deserve you and you need to leave her asap.homemade blackheads
You both sound like you're ';right fighters'; and more interested in proving yourself right and the other person wrong than you are in making this relationship work.
Neither of you should be on dating sites period. Profiles CAN be deleted and SHOULD be deleted once you enter a relationship. The ';If you can do it, I can do it'; mentality is very childish and it sounds like this problem has taken over your ';relationship';. Perhaps you shouldn't be together. You both have trust issues and neither of you appear to be trying to change that.
Some relationships seem to thrive on drama because that's about the only thing holding them together. This sounds like one of those situations!Need advice and opinions on my relationship.?
she is eating up your precious energy a way too much . you need to know that she is playing with you.
how?
she knows you get jealous of her talking to anohter guys. and she is not going to stop it. cause thats your weakness. if she s a *****, shes gonna keep hurting you at this same point over and over until you die or let her go.
she wants to be free from your influence.
and you cant do nothing about it. love. or hate.
she will change according to her needs and wants. not yours.
let this ***** go, settle with someone who wants to settle with you( but, if you not want to settle with a girl who want to settle with you, then what would you tell her.? nothing right - you will start to find excuses or ways to push her off the cliff ---
thats what is vicious cycle of life)
its all about either your heart or her heart.
only very few find soul mates. and after that there will be no search.
The End
OH MY YOU JUST WROTE A BOOK, lol.
You sound like a very sweet and honest man. I know you are in love with your current gf. How long have you been with her? How old are you two? Honestly I would just listen to your family on this one. Your current gf sounds like she isn't truthful and she is just toying with you. She should never ever say that she is going to go and f u c k another guy, thats just very wrong. You honestly sound like a guy who can get a better girl who can treat you better. Love hurts and it is hard to break up but in the end you will feel better.
Also your gf sounds like a girl who has some kind of issue. From experience and other ppl who I know, blame other ppl for doing what they were doing (if that makes sense). like example, my best friend was in a relationship with this guy and this guy kept saying to her ';You are two timing me, you have another bf and I have met him';. My best friend never ever had another bf and she didn't two time him but in the end he was the one who had another girlfriend.. you know what i mean now?
There are a lot of other girls out there and with your personality you will find a girl who will make you happy..
this relationship seems like a lot of work. you shouldn't be dealing with this because 1. she won't let you have ex's added or friends, but she can have them added? not fair. 2. she's got dating sites on and she still has them up, but she's worried about you cheating? and 3. she's lied about blocking them and taking down dating websites.
you should dump her immediately. if she really did love you she wouldn't be doing this. a relationship has no work. it should be easy and you shouldn't have fights like this. it's not always going to be perfect but this isn't how a fight between a couple should be. i'm sorry but she doesn't deserve you and you need to leave her asap.
I am in relationship 8 years,i need good advice?
when i was 13 we start relationship ,am 21 now and he more and more talk about marriage.when i was young i falll in love with him,I was just a child.That relationship still works,i care about him,but I dont feel true love like before.I have some other guys exepct him ,I am good looking so i have lots of guys around me.I wanna space and i cant tell him that.I dont know can I even live without him and in the same time i wanna be free.So ,to brake up or married at him.I just dont know what to do.PLEASE HELP!I am in relationship 8 years,i need good advice?
No, don't marry anyone until you love only him and are ready to make a life-long commitment!I am in relationship 8 years,i need good advice?
Please don't get married until you feel you are ready.
Keep in mind, freedom comes with a price.
It is never perfect either way. :)
If you want to be free and you're feeling this way now then one of the worst things you could do would be to get married...it would only end up hurting one or both of you later. My advice is to take some space - indulge your free spirited, single side that you never really got to know (13 is so young!) and have some fun! A bit of distance could change your entire perspective!
Quite honestly, 13 is a little young to start a relationship, but that's really none of my business.
Honestly, I would say you need to go out into the real world and find other guys to date. It's important for your psycological health to date more than one person before you decide on one guy that's right for you. That's my opinion.
How incredibly selfish you sound! Like it is all about poor dear beautiful you. You can't live without him but you want to play the field. He has proposed but now you feel that you need to have something to compare him to.
If you give two figs for him tell him the truth. Tell him that you were both very young when the relationship began and though you are comfortable with the friendship and would miss him awfully if he were not in your life you feel the need to test the waters in other relationships and think he should do the same.
You sincerely risks that he may never speak with you again but you will certainly be free to date a variety of other men.
You need to be aware that even though he has always been around he is not a dog that you can keep on a leash while you make your amorous experiments.
Frankly it sounds like you're a long way from being mature enough to marry anyone regardless of age.
If the feelings not there, it's because the relationship has staled and stalled a bit, probably from being overly familiar all this time together. Yes, because it occurred when you were so young, now there are feelings of ';maybe missing out'; on playing around with other people, and you're still very young for marriage. You better decide now on the possibility of marriage being in the future, and not be one who marries then decide you missed out on the running around, causing a short marriage and nasty young divorce by doing so after it's too late. Think long and hard how much you want to stay with this person and how much your young freedom means to you before you do something rash
if you are ready for life long commitment then go ahead.
lol first, learn proper english. ... then, do what you feel is right.
Let him know how you feel. Dont feel that you are obligated to marry him just because you have been together that long. That is YOUR choice you will have to live with forever. You've never had time to explore and be with other ppl. I think you should try a trial breakup so you both can explore other ppl. If its meant to be, eventually you will be together again. Good luck!
You are going to ask for advice on an 8 year relationship from complete strangers? I feel sorry for your boyfriend!
If you want to be 'free' and have doubts about him. Don't get married, you have to be perfectly satisfied. Don't ask us out here - we don't know about your relationship. I'd say 8 years from 13 was a pretty good relationship but if you're not 101% happy then don't do it. I suggest you talk it through with him though!
Lorna
Okay, you were too young when you fell in love with him. Now you want and feel the need to explore and be free. It's very natural not wanting to be tied down with marriage at the age of 21.
Being with him now is more like a habit than anything, hence you feel a little confused if you can live without him.
Tell him how you feel and see if he can wait a few more years. You didn't mention how old he was. Perhaps you can both be engaged first if he still feels the need to some what tie a bond for the both of you. On the other hand, you could explain the situation and ask him try not see each other for a period of time and see how you really feel about him. Phew...chances are, it'll be quite difficult to make him see your point of view. You can, nevertheless give it a try.
Wish you all the best.
No, don't marry anyone until you love only him and are ready to make a life-long commitment!I am in relationship 8 years,i need good advice?
Please don't get married until you feel you are ready.
Keep in mind, freedom comes with a price.
It is never perfect either way. :)
If you want to be free and you're feeling this way now then one of the worst things you could do would be to get married...it would only end up hurting one or both of you later. My advice is to take some space - indulge your free spirited, single side that you never really got to know (13 is so young!) and have some fun! A bit of distance could change your entire perspective!
Quite honestly, 13 is a little young to start a relationship, but that's really none of my business.
Honestly, I would say you need to go out into the real world and find other guys to date. It's important for your psycological health to date more than one person before you decide on one guy that's right for you. That's my opinion.
How incredibly selfish you sound! Like it is all about poor dear beautiful you. You can't live without him but you want to play the field. He has proposed but now you feel that you need to have something to compare him to.
If you give two figs for him tell him the truth. Tell him that you were both very young when the relationship began and though you are comfortable with the friendship and would miss him awfully if he were not in your life you feel the need to test the waters in other relationships and think he should do the same.
You sincerely risks that he may never speak with you again but you will certainly be free to date a variety of other men.
You need to be aware that even though he has always been around he is not a dog that you can keep on a leash while you make your amorous experiments.
Frankly it sounds like you're a long way from being mature enough to marry anyone regardless of age.
If the feelings not there, it's because the relationship has staled and stalled a bit, probably from being overly familiar all this time together. Yes, because it occurred when you were so young, now there are feelings of ';maybe missing out'; on playing around with other people, and you're still very young for marriage. You better decide now on the possibility of marriage being in the future, and not be one who marries then decide you missed out on the running around, causing a short marriage and nasty young divorce by doing so after it's too late. Think long and hard how much you want to stay with this person and how much your young freedom means to you before you do something rash
if you are ready for life long commitment then go ahead.
lol first, learn proper english. ... then, do what you feel is right.
Let him know how you feel. Dont feel that you are obligated to marry him just because you have been together that long. That is YOUR choice you will have to live with forever. You've never had time to explore and be with other ppl. I think you should try a trial breakup so you both can explore other ppl. If its meant to be, eventually you will be together again. Good luck!
You are going to ask for advice on an 8 year relationship from complete strangers? I feel sorry for your boyfriend!
If you want to be 'free' and have doubts about him. Don't get married, you have to be perfectly satisfied. Don't ask us out here - we don't know about your relationship. I'd say 8 years from 13 was a pretty good relationship but if you're not 101% happy then don't do it. I suggest you talk it through with him though!
Lorna
Okay, you were too young when you fell in love with him. Now you want and feel the need to explore and be free. It's very natural not wanting to be tied down with marriage at the age of 21.
Being with him now is more like a habit than anything, hence you feel a little confused if you can live without him.
Tell him how you feel and see if he can wait a few more years. You didn't mention how old he was. Perhaps you can both be engaged first if he still feels the need to some what tie a bond for the both of you. On the other hand, you could explain the situation and ask him try not see each other for a period of time and see how you really feel about him. Phew...chances are, it'll be quite difficult to make him see your point of view. You can, nevertheless give it a try.
Wish you all the best.
I need advice about something in my relationship please...?
my gf and i have bn going out for 7months and she told me she was willing to go to 3rd base. i never asked her, she said she would her self. she said she wud only do it because she really likes me (loves me) and it has NOTHING to do with peer pressure, or anything like tht. we're both 16 and i guess im fine with it (lol i am a 16 yr old male afterall) but i do not want to make ne decisions i wud regret. not to b cocky or nething, but i am not hormonally-driven and am more mature than many others boys my age. should i wait? what should i do?I need advice about something in my relationship please...?
Be safe and use protection.
Be safe and use protection.
Need serious advice on big age-difference relationship?
Hi, I apologize in advance if this is really long, this is my first time posting a question so I am not used to this. I have been dating a very nice guy for the past three months. I am enthralled by his personality and I am very physically attracted to him. I have dated many guys in the past and can honestly say that everything about this man positively stands out from the others. As any other couple, we have our trials and misunderstandings but we work on them and grow closer in the process. I love his personality, behaviour, views and attitudes on life and how he treats me with such care. The interesting thing is though-we are 27 years apart. I am 18 and he is 45. To my own surprise, we have great chemistry and genuine romantic love for each other. To me, the age difference is barely noticable because he is not the typical 45-year old I imagined; he is very mature but has a beautiful heart of a kid, he is cute and silly, takes care of his health, jokes alot and has many interests, heck he is more lively than I am! We have tried to end it before, but every time we end up being miserable/missing each other and wanting to be with one another other again. He is not wealthy thus I know this has nothing to do with me wanting money from him. I sincerely love, care, and want to be intimate with this person despite the age difference. If I was to end the relationship, it would only be out of personal fear and doubt of the unknown future. I am looking for others' opinion on this-what would you do in my situation? Would the age difference force you to end it? Would you pay no attention to social norms and be with the one you love? Thank you in advance for your answers, please no immature commentsNeed serious advice on big age-difference relationship?
If nothing else comes of it, you have a wonderful friend to share your life with for as long as it lasts.
I wouldn't try to force anything, there's no hurry. You need the freedom to finish your education and begin your career unhampered.
True love never ends. Circumstances may change, the relationship may change, but you will always have a place in your heart for him.
Enjoy the days as they come.Need serious advice on big age-difference relationship?
um this is awkward
I c no problem wth ur love 4 an older man, i have a younger girlfriend, she is 19 filippino and yes i've heard all stories abt money, like ur man i am not rich/wealthy, wat we have is love. Wat i will say is be prepared 4 the do gooders who beleive that love 4 a young girl is just lust on ur mans part. If u r happy wth ths relationship, go 4 it and be happy, gud luck
Personally I would wonder what a ';mature'; 45 year old man sees in an 18 year old girl - a girl at that age is basically a blank slate who is appreciative of experiences new to her provided by an older man, not going to be as critical, knowledgeable or experienced in life as a 45 year old woman. You don't say anything about whether he has kids, ex-wives, etc, but you need to look at his past history because that is a good indicator of his future acts.
You can never know the future, but if you marry him remember he might die, or you might end up taking care of him for many years. I had a friend who at age 19 married a 49 year old man. She was very mature for her age, and he was rather immature in ways...however, he ended up dying 8 years later.
Something to think about.
If nothing else comes of it, you have a wonderful friend to share your life with for as long as it lasts.
I wouldn't try to force anything, there's no hurry. You need the freedom to finish your education and begin your career unhampered.
True love never ends. Circumstances may change, the relationship may change, but you will always have a place in your heart for him.
Enjoy the days as they come.Need serious advice on big age-difference relationship?
um this is awkward
I c no problem wth ur love 4 an older man, i have a younger girlfriend, she is 19 filippino and yes i've heard all stories abt money, like ur man i am not rich/wealthy, wat we have is love. Wat i will say is be prepared 4 the do gooders who beleive that love 4 a young girl is just lust on ur mans part. If u r happy wth ths relationship, go 4 it and be happy, gud luck
Personally I would wonder what a ';mature'; 45 year old man sees in an 18 year old girl - a girl at that age is basically a blank slate who is appreciative of experiences new to her provided by an older man, not going to be as critical, knowledgeable or experienced in life as a 45 year old woman. You don't say anything about whether he has kids, ex-wives, etc, but you need to look at his past history because that is a good indicator of his future acts.
You can never know the future, but if you marry him remember he might die, or you might end up taking care of him for many years. I had a friend who at age 19 married a 49 year old man. She was very mature for her age, and he was rather immature in ways...however, he ended up dying 8 years later.
Something to think about.
Does anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
I'll try to be brief, even though it's a complicated story :p
Basically I'm a 19 year old guy and have been with my boyfriend, 17, for about 18 months now. The first year of our relationship started off great, went a little rocky but then eventually smoothed out at the start of this year, to the extent we were both really happy.
The only downside was his parents, who it seems are incredibly homophobic and have given me nothing but grief since he told them about us. If they're uncomfortable with it then sure, I can understand that, but when his mum started going around calling me a paedophile (and I'm talking very publically here) I really lost my temper and told her to keep away from me because I was sick of her vile attitude. She responded by going to the police, claiming I'd had sex with my boyfriend before he turned 16.
The police spent 3 months of this summer investigating this, during which I was told to stay away from him. Having been close to him for the past 5 years and rarely going a day or two without any contact with him, this was nothing short of torture. We then made contact again once the police finally accepted that we hadn't had sex and released me from bail, which his mum didn't like one bit and responded by outing him to his entire family, telling them all he was confused because he'd been sexually abused. As a result he moved out to live with his grandparents and refuses to move back while she lives in his old house.
We then went a month without any contact after his parents essentially stole his phone off him, only for him to again make contact last week. My problem is that after all this time without him I feel so insecure about our relationship. Things between me and him are fine, but to give an example, he hasn't yet texted me tonight. Ever since he contacted me last Sunday he's always texted me at around 11pm just as he goes to bed, and the fact he hasn't tonight is terrifying me. I've had to physically move my phone away from me to stop myself texting him every few minutes to probe if he's there or not. I guess I'm absolutely terrified of going through a long period of no contact with him again, and it's something I want to deal with now before I strangle our relationship to death.
At the same time, seeing his family arguing and falling out with each other over this (especially his mum), I feel torn. On one hand, I feel responsible and completely guilty, whilst I also feel she's completely brought this upon herself?
Okay, that wasn't brief at all :p Thanks for your time anyway xDoes anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
It sounds like the relationship is already over - move on.
You seem very keen on this relationship. The other guy seems to be indicating that for whatever reason he wants to move on.
Whether it be personal preference or family pressure makes no difference.Does anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
Your not responsible for him being gay and his parents not being accepting. It was bound to happen if not with you, someone else. You have to realize too what he's going through and how he's feeling about all of this I'm sure he's torn inside about how his family is treating him. I think you need to give him and his family some space if you want things to work out. If you love him, you should put your wants aside and be more supportive of what he needs.
Basically I'm a 19 year old guy and have been with my boyfriend, 17, for about 18 months now. The first year of our relationship started off great, went a little rocky but then eventually smoothed out at the start of this year, to the extent we were both really happy.
The only downside was his parents, who it seems are incredibly homophobic and have given me nothing but grief since he told them about us. If they're uncomfortable with it then sure, I can understand that, but when his mum started going around calling me a paedophile (and I'm talking very publically here) I really lost my temper and told her to keep away from me because I was sick of her vile attitude. She responded by going to the police, claiming I'd had sex with my boyfriend before he turned 16.
The police spent 3 months of this summer investigating this, during which I was told to stay away from him. Having been close to him for the past 5 years and rarely going a day or two without any contact with him, this was nothing short of torture. We then made contact again once the police finally accepted that we hadn't had sex and released me from bail, which his mum didn't like one bit and responded by outing him to his entire family, telling them all he was confused because he'd been sexually abused. As a result he moved out to live with his grandparents and refuses to move back while she lives in his old house.
We then went a month without any contact after his parents essentially stole his phone off him, only for him to again make contact last week. My problem is that after all this time without him I feel so insecure about our relationship. Things between me and him are fine, but to give an example, he hasn't yet texted me tonight. Ever since he contacted me last Sunday he's always texted me at around 11pm just as he goes to bed, and the fact he hasn't tonight is terrifying me. I've had to physically move my phone away from me to stop myself texting him every few minutes to probe if he's there or not. I guess I'm absolutely terrified of going through a long period of no contact with him again, and it's something I want to deal with now before I strangle our relationship to death.
At the same time, seeing his family arguing and falling out with each other over this (especially his mum), I feel torn. On one hand, I feel responsible and completely guilty, whilst I also feel she's completely brought this upon herself?
Okay, that wasn't brief at all :p Thanks for your time anyway xDoes anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
It sounds like the relationship is already over - move on.
You seem very keen on this relationship. The other guy seems to be indicating that for whatever reason he wants to move on.
Whether it be personal preference or family pressure makes no difference.Does anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
Your not responsible for him being gay and his parents not being accepting. It was bound to happen if not with you, someone else. You have to realize too what he's going through and how he's feeling about all of this I'm sure he's torn inside about how his family is treating him. I think you need to give him and his family some space if you want things to work out. If you love him, you should put your wants aside and be more supportive of what he needs.
Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
I have a boyfriend in the Navy who has been gone for a month so far; he's signed on for 6 years. We've been together for a year and a half and I knew from the beginning that he'd be leaving. For some reason I didn't think it would be as hard as it has been when I told him I'd wait for him. I feel terrible about this because we love each other very much but I'm afraid that the distance is going to be too much for me. I'm just not happy with it being this way. I also met this really amazing older guy recently who isn't making this situation any easier because he is just so wonderful. I just need some advice on what I should do.Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
stay with the NAVY guy plzplzplz. stay away from the older guy.the navy guy likes u prolly more than u like him, stick with him. trust me. help http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
Well this is a hard one. Your actualy bf could be THE one...but long distance relationships are very hard and take more committment than we want to. The easy way out is breaking up with him and date this other great guy...although you don麓t know if this great guy still might be worth leaving your bf. It麓s all a risk, and I know how complicated it must be. I麓ve been there. But because this is about love, you must stay with the person you love right now, not the one who麓s making you have butterflies. Because love is deeper than butterflies in your stomach.
But if you believe truthfully in your heart that it won麓t work (not that it麓s hard because any relationship is hard) then leave your bf because you might actually be doing something good for him too, to find someone else...
As long as you decide something out of your good heart, things will work out for you...because if you were in the navy away loving and missing your bf and he麓d be here asking for advice on whether to saty with you or an amazing girl he met...well, just think about it.
6 years is a long time to wait on someone. A lot can change. You 2 would probably change, certainly being in the navy would change him, and you're not in contact that much to change and grow together. You would also find u would start drifting apart as your life would go on, you would have so many experiences without him.
I was in the same situation some years ago when my bf went away to study- also for 6 years. I met someone else after a few months and broke up with him. He was very hurt but I just could not wait for him that long.
I can understand your stress right now. And imagine its only a month. As heartbreaking as it may be for the 2 of you it might be better to break up with him. All the best!
this is a difficult one because like you say you knew this would happen eventually, but I don't think we ever fully prepare ourselves for it. I would say that you musn't do anything with thisolder guy until you sort it out with your boyfriend, that would just be plain deceitful and hurtful. If your struggling now imagine enduring 6yrs of this? you need to think about wether you love him enough to be apart from him for long periods without straying. Good Luck!!
I think the best thing for you to do is to listen to your heart, but to also sit down or have a talk with your bf in the Navy. You've told him that you would wait for him and its important for him to know how you are feeling. Its gana be hard to tell him and its gana be hard for him to hear, but if he really cares about you then he would let you do what makes you happy and not make you feel bad about it;-)
i mean it better to tell your bf now how you feel then to go out with this other guy and feel guilty because you were supposed to be waiting for your bf in the Navy
if you truly love your boyfriend you would wait for him no matter what even if it seems hard. but if you dont think that the relationship is going to last w/your boyfriend anyways you shouldnt put yourself through the pain of waiting for him and then breaking up with him. go for the older guy if thats how you truly feel.
stay with the NAVY guy plzplzplz. stay away from the older guy.the navy guy likes u prolly more than u like him, stick with him. trust me. help http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
Well this is a hard one. Your actualy bf could be THE one...but long distance relationships are very hard and take more committment than we want to. The easy way out is breaking up with him and date this other great guy...although you don麓t know if this great guy still might be worth leaving your bf. It麓s all a risk, and I know how complicated it must be. I麓ve been there. But because this is about love, you must stay with the person you love right now, not the one who麓s making you have butterflies. Because love is deeper than butterflies in your stomach.
But if you believe truthfully in your heart that it won麓t work (not that it麓s hard because any relationship is hard) then leave your bf because you might actually be doing something good for him too, to find someone else...
As long as you decide something out of your good heart, things will work out for you...because if you were in the navy away loving and missing your bf and he麓d be here asking for advice on whether to saty with you or an amazing girl he met...well, just think about it.
6 years is a long time to wait on someone. A lot can change. You 2 would probably change, certainly being in the navy would change him, and you're not in contact that much to change and grow together. You would also find u would start drifting apart as your life would go on, you would have so many experiences without him.
I was in the same situation some years ago when my bf went away to study- also for 6 years. I met someone else after a few months and broke up with him. He was very hurt but I just could not wait for him that long.
I can understand your stress right now. And imagine its only a month. As heartbreaking as it may be for the 2 of you it might be better to break up with him. All the best!
this is a difficult one because like you say you knew this would happen eventually, but I don't think we ever fully prepare ourselves for it. I would say that you musn't do anything with thisolder guy until you sort it out with your boyfriend, that would just be plain deceitful and hurtful. If your struggling now imagine enduring 6yrs of this? you need to think about wether you love him enough to be apart from him for long periods without straying. Good Luck!!
I think the best thing for you to do is to listen to your heart, but to also sit down or have a talk with your bf in the Navy. You've told him that you would wait for him and its important for him to know how you are feeling. Its gana be hard to tell him and its gana be hard for him to hear, but if he really cares about you then he would let you do what makes you happy and not make you feel bad about it;-)
i mean it better to tell your bf now how you feel then to go out with this other guy and feel guilty because you were supposed to be waiting for your bf in the Navy
if you truly love your boyfriend you would wait for him no matter what even if it seems hard. but if you dont think that the relationship is going to last w/your boyfriend anyways you shouldnt put yourself through the pain of waiting for him and then breaking up with him. go for the older guy if thats how you truly feel.
Can someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
its jus dat lately we haven't been talking and we dnt do things together and its all boring. So i need advice how to relight the spark which was once there. We have been dating for 6 months nowCan someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
If within only 6 months of dating and you two are already bored with each other then maybe you should rethink the relationship. I'm a strong believer that you are in a relationship to find the right person and if the one you are with isn't providing the comfort, compassion, communication, and everything else that goes along then its probably not the right relationship for you. Its so early for the both of you to be bored already. Whats going to happen down the road when you have exhausted all of you resources and energy in making this relationship work? I would sit down and talk to him about how you feel and see whats on his mind as well. If its not meant to be then break ties now while its still early. Good luck to you.Can someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
If you're that bored after 6 months can you imagine what it would be like after 12?! It sounds like your relationship has run its course.
But...I do believe in trying, so.... you could make a romantic meal and then have a naughty strip ready for him as desert. Or you could go for a pub lunch a have a few drinks to relax.
just meet with him, and make the things clear for dispute. if u feel he can come than ok otherwise forget him
if you have only been dating 6 months and this has happened already then i think you probably arent right for eachother anyway :(
take a break...u will both realise what uve got and things be peachy again
the key is in what you said ';we don't do things together';. That's what you need to do, share common experiences, have common interests - that is the bond of friendship and a good relationship. If you don't do this then you have nothing in common, which means long silences and then the silent death of a relationship. So you have to get both of you doing things together, cinema, meals out, activity days, going to the zoo .... anything where both of you are communicating about what you're doing together and hopefully having some fun as well.
The spark will be relighted but the key is communication, communication, communication. And you only get that by arranging to spend some time together.
Go somewhere, like a hotel that has one of those big bathtubs with the jets and lights some candles and take a bath together. Remember that scene in Pretty woman? Change your look. Get a makeover. I change my appearance all the time to keep my husband interested and he's always telling me I'm sexy. Wear feminine clothes. Do you wear makeup? Is it too much, or not enough? How's your hygiene? If you are living together is the house clean or dirty, is dinner on time? Is the trash taken out. It DOES NOT MATTER who does this, the trash that is. I hope your not one of those women who talks a man to death. Men need to have quiet, they need soothing words strategically worded, and kept to a minimum. Men like to talk about themselves. Give him a chance to do that. They need sometimes to have their head petted or neck massaged. I know my hubbie does. He is the middle son. Middle sons are like that. All these things are factors in a relationship. A relationship takes WORK. No one ever said it was a cake walk.
If the spark's already gone after just six months of dating, is it really worth saving? You're going to have to keep beating life back into the relationship again and again.
Find someone new.
O to completion.....A, Outdoor stuff, dress to impress, clubs!.....introduce a friend or two.....get a dvd and spend the night pleasuring him...come on girl use your imagination before someone does it for you!
can you remember a date or time when you both had a fantastic time? A time when ye were both really together and loved up? If so = you need to go back to that place - and hopefully it will reignite that spark foryou both.
xx
If you had six years...but six months? Time to move on. Find someone else. The spark is gone. How many times do you think you want to keep rekindling this friendship?
if its only been 6months and your already getting like this you are more likely to have problems in the relationship later on in life.
I would try anal
If you really love him than you will hold on to him. If you both are losing interest in each other than i'm not sure what you should do. But if he really loves you and you really love him spend time together and let him know how much you love him and ask him where he thinks the relationship is going. Like you said ';you don't talk, or spend time together.'; quality time is the most important thing in a relationship so try and spend some time with him and talk to him.homemade blackheads
If within only 6 months of dating and you two are already bored with each other then maybe you should rethink the relationship. I'm a strong believer that you are in a relationship to find the right person and if the one you are with isn't providing the comfort, compassion, communication, and everything else that goes along then its probably not the right relationship for you. Its so early for the both of you to be bored already. Whats going to happen down the road when you have exhausted all of you resources and energy in making this relationship work? I would sit down and talk to him about how you feel and see whats on his mind as well. If its not meant to be then break ties now while its still early. Good luck to you.Can someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
If you're that bored after 6 months can you imagine what it would be like after 12?! It sounds like your relationship has run its course.
But...I do believe in trying, so.... you could make a romantic meal and then have a naughty strip ready for him as desert. Or you could go for a pub lunch a have a few drinks to relax.
just meet with him, and make the things clear for dispute. if u feel he can come than ok otherwise forget him
if you have only been dating 6 months and this has happened already then i think you probably arent right for eachother anyway :(
take a break...u will both realise what uve got and things be peachy again
the key is in what you said ';we don't do things together';. That's what you need to do, share common experiences, have common interests - that is the bond of friendship and a good relationship. If you don't do this then you have nothing in common, which means long silences and then the silent death of a relationship. So you have to get both of you doing things together, cinema, meals out, activity days, going to the zoo .... anything where both of you are communicating about what you're doing together and hopefully having some fun as well.
The spark will be relighted but the key is communication, communication, communication. And you only get that by arranging to spend some time together.
Go somewhere, like a hotel that has one of those big bathtubs with the jets and lights some candles and take a bath together. Remember that scene in Pretty woman? Change your look. Get a makeover. I change my appearance all the time to keep my husband interested and he's always telling me I'm sexy. Wear feminine clothes. Do you wear makeup? Is it too much, or not enough? How's your hygiene? If you are living together is the house clean or dirty, is dinner on time? Is the trash taken out. It DOES NOT MATTER who does this, the trash that is. I hope your not one of those women who talks a man to death. Men need to have quiet, they need soothing words strategically worded, and kept to a minimum. Men like to talk about themselves. Give him a chance to do that. They need sometimes to have their head petted or neck massaged. I know my hubbie does. He is the middle son. Middle sons are like that. All these things are factors in a relationship. A relationship takes WORK. No one ever said it was a cake walk.
If the spark's already gone after just six months of dating, is it really worth saving? You're going to have to keep beating life back into the relationship again and again.
Find someone new.
O to completion.....A, Outdoor stuff, dress to impress, clubs!.....introduce a friend or two.....get a dvd and spend the night pleasuring him...come on girl use your imagination before someone does it for you!
can you remember a date or time when you both had a fantastic time? A time when ye were both really together and loved up? If so = you need to go back to that place - and hopefully it will reignite that spark foryou both.
xx
If you had six years...but six months? Time to move on. Find someone else. The spark is gone. How many times do you think you want to keep rekindling this friendship?
if its only been 6months and your already getting like this you are more likely to have problems in the relationship later on in life.
I would try anal
If you really love him than you will hold on to him. If you both are losing interest in each other than i'm not sure what you should do. But if he really loves you and you really love him spend time together and let him know how much you love him and ask him where he thinks the relationship is going. Like you said ';you don't talk, or spend time together.'; quality time is the most important thing in a relationship so try and spend some time with him and talk to him.
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