How can I find advice to deal with mother/daughter relationships?

My 19 year old daughter has given us many trials but through it all we have stood by her side and always came away with what I thought was a strong relationship. A month ago she flew to Chicago to visit her boyfriend and while she was there she eloped, she came back home as scheduled and never said anything, a week later we found out from a stranger that our daughter was married. It has devastated our family! We would have walked from Seattle to Chicago to be by her side and see her get married. I am so distraught that I can't eat or sleep...all I can do is wonder why. It has been so hard on our immediate family (mom, dad and sister) but also on extended family, Grandma's and Grandpa's etc. To add insult to injury, her Mother-in-Law knew about it, encouraged it and paid for the airline ticket. The MIL didn't say anything to us and she is the one who was telling everyone in town except us which is ultimately how we found out. How do we recover? She has since moved into an apartment with some friends since she can't be with her husband yet (he is in the Navy) and seems to be walking away from a family that loves her so much and all I have left to cling to are the memories of her childhood. I am not as hurt about her eloping as I am about how we found out...the fact that she couldn't even tell us. I would love any help or advice that anyone could give to help our family get through this and manage to find our life again. Thank you!How can I find advice to deal with mother/daughter relationships?
Young people now have no respect for their families. But, they sure kiss up to their ';friends.';





I do know what it is to feel the insult from the adult children, and now also the adult g-kids too. Oh, joy!





This is such an insult to you, and they should all realize it too. Even if they say they are sorry, it will not heal your broken heart. It will take you awhile to heal from this terrible ordeal.





You just have to NOT react badly, that way you will keep your dignity! You be the better person through this.





I would be praying day and night for the grace to endure this.How can I find advice to deal with mother/daughter relationships?
You need to find your life again, and the only one who can do that is you. Needless to say, you cannot live your children's lives. Don't dwell on your unhappiness, or don't share it with others. Keep in touch, but be light-hearted.





For yourself, find a new interest, something that no one would ever expect you to be interested in. I went through a somewhat similar crisis, and my escape was to become interested in the girls' basketball team in my local high school. Went to the games, learned the girls' names, cheered for the team.





For you, it could be something entirely different. Take up computers, be a photographer, get a French cookbook. Go on a tour to Australia. Only you can choose.
Well first of all this is really no big deal so calm yourself.


If this is your only child I can imagine the heartache but you get over it.


She is an adult and perhaps she didn't want a fancy wedding. She might have felt she would get an argument and she didn't want to deal with that.


Communication with an young adult child (YAC) is practically nil because they don't want interference from their parents and want to make their own decisions. If she is not talking to you about any of this, even after you found out, something else is going on besides the wedding.


If you know when he is returning home you might offer to hold a reception for her to ease the breach between you but if she nixes that idea then I would back off for awhile and leave her alone.


Find another child, godchild, niece or nephew to take interest in, if you dont' have any of them you might want to volunteer for something like at the school or the city. You need to regain your sanity and fill it with something new.