Thursday, December 31, 2009

I need advice on my long distance relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. We have had some rough patches and have broken up 2 times. He currently is half way across the country. While he was home he drank a lot of beer. I was always there for for him to make sure nothing horrible happened. Now that he is away I can not control the situation. I think he drinks too much and I don't know how to be okay about it. He loves me soooo much but will not drink a little less for me. I don't expect him to stop. I just want to be okay with it. I need some advice on how to cope with it. I don't want to leave him cause he is the most amazing man in the world but I need to stop stressing about his drinking. Please if you have any advice ........ lemme know.I need advice on my long distance relationship?
I do have some advice, yet probably not too different from anyone else's - especially family / friends. 2 points.





1. He's not going to stop, or slow down, the problematic drinking for you, or anyone else, unfortunately. Not even for the Pope, his mother or Jesus H. Christ himself. He is only going to do that for himself - if and when he is ready. Hopefully something inside him with motivate him. He may love you deeply, but that isn't enough.





2. You aren't going to be ';okay with it';. You may find ways to cope and deal with it, but you will stress with it, as you most likely are now. However, you may in time simply ';accept'; all this; yet that would be a shame.





3.Unfortunately, we usually can't control the actions of others - only our own.





4. Good luckI need advice on my long distance relationship?
he is an alcoholic. send him anonymous ';Alchoholics anonymous'; emails for his local chapter
Instead of titling this advice on long distant relationships, you should have titled it how to deal with alcohalic loved ones. You should be prepared for when he moves back to where you are and he is an alcohalic...sorry but I don't have any advice but to keep in touch with him while he is away, talk about normal things and little things that are going on in your life that he might be interested in knowing....keeping that spark alive. Good luck.
He is the one who has to deal with it and the possible results. If he won't stop drinking then no one else is to blame if something bad happens. He needs to learn to be responsible and maybe this is a good chance for him to learn something.

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