Relationship Problem--10 points for honest advice. Thank you for your kindness?

This guy and I are in love for 4 years. We separated last year because I moved to other states. We kept in touch as friends and hoping that we will be together one days.





He was in a military for 6 years. He always has hard time express his feelings to me. He loves to write poems about us though. He wrote over 30 poems during our separation.





Recently, he wrote two poems:





1.) He is finding a future and want to move on. (I am not sure)


2.) His heart is locked up because of our love.





I have been begging him for the truth whether he still loves me or not---But he does not want to tell me. ( I sent him 7 messages, but I have never heard from him---he used to do that before though!!)





I was so upset and heart broken. I sent him a ';Good Bye'; and ';Good Luck'; Messages beause I could not deal with this anymore.





Any ideas why he does not want to tell me the truth? Does he still love me? He does not seem to have a new girlfriend though.


Am I wrong to want to broke up with him?Relationship Problem--10 points for honest advice. Thank you for your kindness?
Honestly.... If you're really trying to get back together with him and he isn't taking any initiative to come back, then it's time to move on. Alot of men are known for being unable to express their emotions, and it seems that he does so through his poetry. If he's telling you in the poems that he's trying to move on, but he's having a hard time because he still loves you, then what you did by wishing him good luck was right. Let him know that you still love him and you're there for him, if he decides to change his mind, then you'll be there. Being in the military can alter ones perceptions and views on life. He may just be confused right now.


However, don't let this hold you back. Don't dwell over it and make yourself miserable while waiting for his response. Keep your head up, move forward, but still be open to the possibility that he might get his head straight.





I'm not a relationship expert, but that's just my take on it..


Do what feels right to you.Relationship Problem--10 points for honest advice. Thank you for your kindness?
i understand why u broke up with him..it is very difficult not be sure 4other people's feelings even more when he is the one and he keeps his mouth closed so u have to find out what's in his mind..i think that he still loves u but he thinks that this kind of relationship between you2 holds you back and it is not worth for both of you since nothing can be done for that..he's not reply to u cz he wants to forget about him and move on with your life..i think he really loves u and what he does shows how much he cares about you..
I'm sure he still has feelings for you. But it sounds like he's coming to the realization that there probably isn't a future with you and so he's trying to move on with his life.





You say you've begged him for the truth, but it's entirely possible the he doesn't really know for himself right now. He may feel lonely and sad without your; he may be angry with you for moving away; he may be confuse because he wants to move on but still cares for you; and maybe he feels guilty because he's met someone else and doesn't want to hurt you.





I'm sorry to say there probably isn't a clear answer. But given the situation, I think it's best if you try to move on.
Being in the military, he should understand the concept of honor and of being a man.





In my opinion, he gains something from your relationship and does not want to fully let go, but cannot fully commit either.





I think that if he does not answer you and I assume your messages are getting to him, that he is not interested in maintaining a relationship with you. However, If he is on some special assignment and cannot be in touch with you that is another story.
From experience, it's hard on anyone to separate after years of being together no matter what the reason for separating is.





In the military their tought to put up a wall emotionally. They kind of have to because of the circumstances. I think that he's been hurt for a long time and he has a wall up. I can't tell you what's on his mind for sure or what he's doing. But it does sound like he obviously has some very real feelings for you. Maybe he's to scared to admit his love for you. Maybe he's convinced himself he doesn't love you so he can't be hurt anymore. You just never know with these situations. And trust me, I know it hurts to sit around and wait for him to respond. Because the worst part about not knowing what's going on in his head, is having to imagine it. And when we have to come up with our own conclusions of what we think the other one feels, we always come up with the worst.





Hang tight. Stop asking him. Just let him know that he will always have your heart and you'll be here waiting when he's ready to open up to you. Be compassionate and forgiving. Maybe it's been harder on him than you think..
I am caught in the same situation but just the opposite. I am in the military and away from home. She is the only one I had love for. One day though while I was away she didn't contact me. One day turned into a month. I recently went home and I went to her house to see what was wrong. Her ex was parked out front. She still wont talk to me. I want to move on but its hard. I don't have any heart left in me. I'm just empty. I should be angry, but I'm not. I guess this isn't good advise but just know that it happens I guess. The only way to avoid getting crushed is to not love in the first place I think. I dunno. Pursue him if you really love him don't let him go, don't be miserable like me.
Sweetie no one really knows how relationships will eventually work out in life the only thing you can do is to love someone and hope that that love comes back.





Guys always have a tough time explaining how they feel. No matter how hard you try no matter how much you care for them, they may never truly explain it to you. But that does not mean that they do not care for you.





I completely understand where you are coming from because I wouldn't want to be waiting for someone if they did not love me, If you break up with someone and they loved you enough, they will come back to you and tell you how much you mean to them. It may not be days or weeks but it will make them think and realize that they lost a good thing.





So don't be too hard on yourself, you did the right thing in fact I wish more people were bold and honest enough to do what you did. Hanging on to something that is not there is much worst then letting go and seeing if he comes back to you. Good luck and sometimes only time will tell.
The military has him brainwashed and basically ruined for life. That was his choice. If he wants to trespass and destroy people and cities, shock and awe style, for Bully Bush, that's his problem, don't make it yours too. Yes, you should find someone better..
No I don't think you are wrong.After 4 yrs and he didn't move with you? If there was love there seems things would be different move on with your life and forget him.
Well how would you know he doesn't ahve another girl, because he told you and you will believe him. If he really loves you he will tell you but it seems liek he is thinking about moving on without you and you don't seem to move on. SO best thing to do is send him a goodbye letter and maybe later on in life it might work for both of you'll but not right now. SOrry
As someone who is in the military I can say this sounds familiar. It may be that he doesn't want to share his feelings because while he may care for you, he knows that his commitment to the service will keep you apart.


Breaking up with him is not wrong, you are keeping yourself from further heartbreak and to be honest by doing this you are going to make it easier for him to move on. It's always hard on us military guys to have a girl from home on out minds. I hope this helps and I hope you understand that you are doing the right thing.
You don't say whether he is overseas right now. If so, you shouldn't break up with him right now. He probably doesn't know what to do. It's difficult for any military personnel to know what kind of future they will have as well as where they will be stationed. I would write him a nice letter and explain how much his love has meant to you. He may be just letting you go because he does love you and wants the best for you.
I don't think you are wrong to have broke up with him, I am sure he still has feelings for you though and a long distance reltionship is so hard, sometimes it is best to let go for a while and see what happens in the future, sometimes it's better to fight for what you have and let him know you love him. It's a sticky situation since he won't come outright and talk to you about it. I would stay broke up for now but let him know you do still have feelings for him and while you aren't waiting around maybe someday this relationship can become whole again. Good Luck! Love is hard!
No you're not wrong! If I were you I would relax and see what he does. I know it can seem like time has stopped, but just wait. If he loves you he won't make you suffer long. Since you already sent him a goodbye message don't aggravate him, that will only make him clam up more. I can't tell you why he won't tell you the truth, only he can, but it could be that he's not sure what he wants or he wants to let you go but doesn't want to hurt you(that could be a big struggle within ones self). If it doesn't work out with the two of you all that means is that there is someone better for you! That always helped me and now I'm with a great guy. Just wait.
you no im really not sure has anyone really important died in his life? maybe he is having mixed feelings about u
hun all u can do is follow your heart! maybe hes not mr.right! but u never know he might be. maybe u should say a prayer to god and ask him about it.
You asked for the honest truth and I'm going to give it to you.... if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. He is trying not to hurt your feelings which is why he just doesn't respond to you. He thinks that by not responding, you'll get a clue but it sounds like you aren't getting the clue. I'm sorry, I know this sounds harsh but you have to face reality, he doesn't want you, move on.





Best wishes





PS - Sending 7 messages to this guy without him responding appears to be psychotic. Stop all contact with him. If he wants to contact you, he knows where to find you. Your constant messages just seem sad and pathetic and guys are NOT attracted to sad %26amp; pathetic girls.
i have been married 3 times. most likly he has a crush not love. it is hard when you find this out. tell him you like him build your relationship back up slowly.
First of all, I myself can not and will not deal with long distance realationships, they r 2 hard on the emotions, I recently got a buy out from my job and moved 2 where my girlfriend lives, about 200 miles. U should go with your heart and if your heart told u 2 write that than u were right. Your boyfriend might just B trying 2 deal with life without U around. He should B able 2 tell how he feels now that U R not around and just how much he cares. Since that is not happening U yourself no him better than we do, so Like I said go with what your heart tells U and then that will B what U want. I have always said look after # 1 first, then do what U can 4 everyone else that U want 2. I hope that this helps U. Just remember go with your Heart and things will fall into place.
You need to talk to him.And i know he's not answering,but christ does he need to! You've done most of the work here,so now its his turn to do something so all you can do is wait.


Make a deal though. 2 weeks and if there's nothing,then im afraid you should break up with him.


good luck! xxx :)
I think he probably likes you but doesn't want to have a relationship because your far away. If you don't think he has a girlfriend then maybe something in the militery changed his life?
He may have hard time communicating with you as you are used to but he has no problem with communicating through poems....good for him because it is better than nothing. All our brains work differently as his may not be average, but it is certainly normal.


Don't be so drastic with your reactions...just ask him if you are interpreting his words correctly.


Say: ';when you write that you are finding a future and want to move on it makes me think that you want to leave what you have and start over. Am I correct? But I appreciate that you feel locked up because of our love.';


Then let him know that the last thing you want is, for a man that you love, to stay with you because he feels locked up. Love is a feeling of freedom not captivity.


Be understanding with how he feels (as much as it is killing you), don't give ultimations...they don't work.


Let him know that your first reactions were of shock and now you have had time to think about things and are more understanding.


If he says that he wants to move on.. let him. The last thing you want is to stay with a man that doesn't totally want you. Give him the time (without pressure) to make his final decision. What ever is going on with him at this moment may not last forever. If you allow him to go in a kind manner (one tht a person truly in love would do) he would feel more easy to come back to you if that is what is in both of yours future. Stay calm (easy for me to say) but it just might make him want to come back to a mature woman rather than a crybaby girlfriend.
This question looks vaguely familiar---like it was asked last week as well.... ---anyway, it sounds very much like he wants to move on and would like YOU to also.... sorry... but if I were you, I'd stop writing to him and asking him questions ... if it is meant to be, it will be and if it's NOT meant to be---then it won't be.... move on and go get a life for yourself...
He probably doesn't know what he wants. There are things about you that he loves/likes but he also has times that he feels better without you. I've also done that whole on again off again thing. It's just too much drama for me.
i think maybe its hard for him to think about you because he can't see you plus if you sent him those letters he might be heart broke an i think you where half right an half wrong if he is in the military he might not have time for a girl friend