Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?

Ok well im realy not enjoyeing rideing horses any more, i show and even train my own horses. wich are both things I realy realy love to do. But it seems like my mom is putting to much pressure on me, and its gotten so bad that im just not haveing fun any more.





Even my mare that ive been training for showing, who is eh main horse i ride and i love her to death. She has just lost all teh spirit she once had and just seems like she is not enjoying herself any more. she ust to be exciteing, happy and loveing. Ad i even feel like are relationship is brakeing





I do plan on quitting 4-h wich is where alot of the pressure from my mom is comeing from and maybe that will help. Any ideas on how i can help build are relationship again? Any ideas on how i can express to my mom how i feel? ive tried to talk to her before but it ended upw ith her blowing up in my face and caling me a spoiled brat.Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
Well you could sort your spelling out!





Maybe you should explain to your mum that you are grateful for all that she has done for you and your horses but you just want to take it at your own pace and do what YOU want with them for a while.





Maybe you could have a bit of a break from riding for a while, to see whether you would miss it or not be bothered.





I know you may not want to but you could just spend time with your horse, not riding for a while, just grooming and talking to her etc. Getting to know each other better.





Hope this helped you and good luck!Any advice on re-building a relationship with my horse.?
For building back your relationship with the horse, You can spend more time hanging out with her, giving her treats, grooming her and finding her special scratching place :) Try to spend alot of time with her.


And for your Mom..Just try and calmly explain that it's a fun sport, and that pressuring you makes it hard for you to ride and compete. That just being supportive, and not pressuring will make riding easier!
Being able to ride is one of the greatest gifts you will ever get in your life, and I know because I have ridden for such a long time, then had to sell my beloved horse as my parents company went down due to the economy.


I know how u feel, I went through that too, and so did many of my friends. But honeslty, its not worth giving up the best thing that has happened to u. Apart from that, if u do love ur horse so much, quitting riding and selling ur horse will be something that u will regret for ur entire life.


Speak to your mom. Tell her how u feel, tell her u dont want to quit but that u want to get rid of that innecessary pressure, because that is whats taking the joy out of something that is more than just a hobby.


But please, dont stop riding. It is such a waste. Once u've stopped, u will realise what u had. Then it will be even harder to start again, because maybe ur mom wont let u start again. And whats worse, leaving something u love because of pressure (where all u really need to do is have some serious talk to ur mom), or not being able to get back something so precious that u gave away?


think about it, and good luck.





I know this has nothing to do with ur original question, but i felt i had to tell u because i miss riding and my horse with every passing day and it does not get better.


About ur mare, once u become who u used to be, she will become who she used to be. Horses tell alot about their owner, and the state they are currently in.
Write your mom a letter and explain to her just what you said here. I was in 4H and my daughter was too. I made a point not to push her too hard and tho she loves horses, she decided not to show any more and do something else. I still have horses, ride and compete when I can but you're right, if you have too much pressure to ride and do something you're not wanting to do, it's not fun anymore and it will reflect on your riding and/or showing. Maybe you should consider doing some other event besides showing with your horse or just go ride some trails. All this is good even for a show horse.. just to get out and go relax and enjoy. Good luck!
I would be very honest and upfront with her and talk to her like an adult.





Mention things like, ';I greatly appreciate everything you have done for me to bring me to this point, but I feel we are heading in different directions...'; ';I love horses and I enjoy riding them, but I need a friend by my side, not an instructor...';





Don't leave her completely out of the loop, but just explain that you feel she is trying to be too directly involved. I would let her know that you enjoy her company, would enjoy if she would continue to help you out, etc. but ask if she could be a little less controlling as these are YOUR dreams, not hers.





As for building up the relationship with your horse again, think back to when you guys did enjoy it. What were things you did together that made it fun? Was it trail rides...just hanging out? Try to do those things again, and I am sure you will be back in sync before you know it :)
WOW, I remember that. My mom was like that. I got burnt out after have NUMEROUS bad luck with some horses. And i just wanted to trail ride for awhile. So my mom stopped paying my board and I lost my horse. I took a break about 2yrs...now I live on my own and i bought another horse. and its GREAT. Sometimes you need a break. To just collect yourself again. Parents have a hard time understanding that so I dont know what to tell you there. If its not fun you have to try and make it fun again. I even asked my mom ';if i sold my horse would that make our relationship better?';





As far as your, Bond goes...stop stressing out go out on a hack do some fun gaming shows and try new tricks new disciplines anything.








good luck
There's a Monty Roberts book that dealt with this. I can't remember which one, but when he was young his show pony lost all it's spirit, and what I think he did was just cut down riding time, and do some things the hors would enjoy, other than constant schooling.





Maybe you should try some hacking, jumping, even pony games and see if your horse enjoys these activities more, just to take a break from your usual routine. Even some time off in the pasture could be what she needs to regenerate.


Good luck with her :)
She's probably upset that she spent several thousands of dollars on this ';hobby'; and now you don't want anything to do with it anymore.





I'm sure I would be upset too. Maybe you people should sell the horse.