I have a horrible relationship with my mother and I really need some advice.?

My mother and I have always had an awful relationship. I think it has something to do with the fact that I was adopted. When I was little she abused me. A lot. Up until when I was about 14, when I would threaten to call the police. I'm 15 now. Going to be 16 in about a month. Both of my parents have always been extremely controlling. I've spent my entire life trying to please them. I get good grades, never have gotten into any kind of trouble. They have always taken me for granted and tell me very often how extremely horrible I am and how much they hate me. :/ I don't really know what to do. It's bugging me now more than ever because I've been going out with a guy for 8 months now. My mom is always not letting me see him and is telling me that it is not ';normal'; to want to see my boyfriend outside of school once or twice a week. Anytime I ask her she threatens to make me break up with him. She is positive she can do that no matter how much I tell her she can't. I think its more that she thinks that she can that bugs me. I don't really know what to do anymore. I'm to the point where I want to kill myself because she makes me feel so worthless all the time. I want to get emancipated but I don't have a job and she won't let me get one. (But yet she tries to make me pay for everything.) I don't really have any close family members that I could live with either. Does anyone have any ideas of what I can do? It would be a HUGE help.I have a horrible relationship with my mother and I really need some advice.?
Your parents are 100% responsible for you until you are 18... she probably figures she is keeping you out of trouble. Of course, she is forcing you to rebel against her... and probably realizes this. You are going to have to be slick.


At 16, you can get a job... consider doing so.


You can ';leave for work'; (dressed appropriately for that) and instead go visit your BF (with a change of clothes in your backpack), but just be slick about it.


See if your dad, or another relative, will take you down to the bank and help you get a savings account. You need to save your money as much as possible.


You only have 2 years to put together enough money to launch out of there after you have graduated. You will need money for first and last month's rent, plus a damage deposit and deposit on utilities.


Start scoping out vocational programs both at high school and the local community college to help you earn more money faster.I have a horrible relationship with my mother and I really need some advice.?
You should talk to someone at your school about this. If you have a counselor, talk to her or him, or talk to a tteacher that you can trust. What she is doing is called emotional abuse, and it sounds like she's doing that because she knows you will call the police if she hits you. But what she's doing is just as wrong and hurtful. It's not fair to you; it's only hurtful towards you. You deserve better than that! You deserve a good life and to be happy! Please talk to someone about this; it may result in some huge things happening in your life, but they will be for the better.





Also, don't be afraid to get your Mom into trouble with anyone else. It doesn't matter. She deserves it. She CAN'T make it worse on you, because if she does all you have to do is report her again.





No parent, adoptive or otherwise, should EVER tell her child that she is worthless and that she hates her. That is awful. And it is absolutely NORMAL for you to want to see your boyfriend outside of school! You're 15 for Pete's sake, not 5!





Good luck sweetie, I hope someone makes something happen, you truly deserve better!
i hate to say it but i would start thinking about reporting them. even if the physical abuse has stopped, they are still mentally abusing you (there is probably a word for that but i can't think of it right now). they need help and if you're the only one who knows about this, you are the only one who can initiate the help that they need. talk to a school counselor about it or call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD
you can try talking to her which may or may not work. also try to talk to q guidance counselor this is a serious issue professional help would be better
Try calling them.





I am very sorry that things are this way for you.





I would also talk to a counselor at school or at a local church/synagogue/place of worship.





Hang in there-
Since your parents have treated you badly all you life, they are not going to change. Don't kill yourself for them!! Don't even think about it.


Your life will get better in time. Keep up the good grades so that you can go to college and get a good job to support yourself.





You could leave their house when you graduate from high school. Make a plan now and stick to it. And don't think that any boyfriend will rescue you. You need to do that for yourself.





You sound like a good person who was adopted by some not so good people. Many people have biological parents who are like that. At least you know you won't take after either of your adopted parents.





Talk to a school counselor who will give you ideas on how to live in this situation until you can leave at age 18. That's not too far off now.





Try not to argue about your boyfriend. The less you tell your parents, the better.





Good luck, Hon. Stay cool.
first off hon, i gotta tell ya. NO PARENT BIOLOGICAL OR ADOPTIVE SHOULD EVER TELL YOU THAT THEY HATE YOU. IT IS WRONG, CRUEL, MEAN, AND I AM SURE THAT YOU AREN'T WORTHLESS. how could she ever say that?





lay it out flat for her. say, ';i am going to be 16 now. i want to see my boyfriend outside of school. you are being ridiculous saying that it is not normal to see my boyfriend outside of school. i want to get a job. you tell me to pay for everything, yet i have no money. you are not my blood mother and i am sick of you acting like you own me. i want you to treat me with the respect that i deserve. you abused me when i was little. that is something that the police might like to know. i want to kill myself because you are so awful. i bet the school counselor would LOVE to know that. if i can't find someone else to live with soon, believe me, the day i turn 18, I AM GONE. you will never see or here from me again. how about that?';





try to find a friend from school that would let you live with them for a while. secretly start packing your bags, like you are trying to leave your husband (best example i could come up with! :) haha) do that before you give her the speech.





i am so sorry that she abused you. i'm glad that she stopped though. it might sound really mean and betraying, but hold that over her head. and if she refuses to give you what you asked calmly for, all you have to do is tell a teacher and it will get your mother's attention when she gets a call from child protective services.





good luck hon, and i'm sorry for your situation. hope i helped bunches!
Well Katie this will not go anywhere unless you three talk, and I mean actually talk not yelling and interrupting each other constantly. Communication is best during this situation and patience. What you can do is get a job and get your boyfriend to get a job and save all of your money in a safe place (not in a bank, since you are a minor your parents can do whatever they want with your account) and the moment you two turn 18 go apartment hunting! LOL





I know she won't let you work but just tell her this, that you believe that getting a job will turn you into a responsible person, the kind that you want me to be, it will keep me busy and it will help me learn to be responsible and plus with homework and a job that gives me less time to spend with my boyfriend. And just go out with him on some nights you are not working and tell your parents you are working and presto you have a way to become independent and a little extra time with your bf and not to mention you won't spend as much time with your parents!





I was in the same situation my mom and I hated each other! But I did what I told you and made money and spent time with my High School girlfriends. But I was more about saving money than romance but my mom too said that it was not normal that I wanted to see my gf's often after school and I was always busy so my days in high school weren't as bad anymore, but anyway





Good Luck!
You need to talk to someone local - do you not have a friendly/helpful teacher or a student counsellor??





Dont let them use the excuse that you were adopted, my friend who has been adopted has never felt this way. I think that some people just shouldnt be parents.





You will never change someone who is controlling. All you can do is life you life to the full - enjoy every minute and be as successful as you can be. And then when you can afford it, move as far away as possible. (then continue to enjoy your life).


xx