Advice for a 19 year old with a poor relationship with her father?

Of course the answer is to talk things through and try to work things out, but I need more. I am afraid to be in the same room with my father. Not because he hurts me, but because he puts off a powerful aura of hate. He is hateful, egotistical, and condescending. He treats my younger sister like gold, but I get the short end of the stick. There have only been two things I have done that have truly enraged him. Once in 8th grade I went to my counselor about his abusive behavior [What else was I to do? Was this a bad decision? Shouldn't he be upset with himself and not me?] When I turned 16, I of course said I was going one place, but went somewhere else and got caught. I always get talked down to, laughed at, left out, etc. I have made All As throughout high school and college. I came in 3rd in my class. I have never done drugs, gotten pregnant, etc. I follow his rules and have never rebelled. Hell, I dont even SPEAK much. Should he not be proud of me? I need the opinions of parents.Advice for a 19 year old with a poor relationship with her father?
I am a parent(of teenagers) and I am also a child(to my still living mother), I am not sure what advise a parent would give you in this situation since you really do not have control over how your dad behaves to you, he has control over that.





First i would try to find out why it is you need his approval so much, all that you have accomplished are wonderful things. I am not your dad but I am proud of you. You may want to look at moving out, you are worthy of feeling good and feeling safe. Take good care of yourself, you only get one of you.





If you can, make the importance of his opinion less and the opinion of your self the most important.Advice for a 19 year old with a poor relationship with her father?
Maybe he's very proud of you but doesn't know how to say it. You shouldn't report to anyone besides your parents they probably were thinking about taking you from your parents and putting you in the system. You never do that inless its serious.
From what you are saying about your father, I believe he is the one with the problems. I don't know how you could approach him. If you are going to a church perhaps you could talk to the minister concerning your problem, or if you have a friend that goes to a church perhaps they could help you. I hope that you can get to know your dad and that he will to know the type of girl you are. From what you are saying in your question a father should be proud of you. Hope you can get this resolved
For whatever reason, there is something your father is hiding from you, that he knows bothers him very much to cause him that anger towards you. Or there is something with your relationship with him that sets him off which could be a number of things.





I am 23 and i have a poor relationship with my mother. Iv always feared her, and i always felt that short end of the stick, hate, and egotistical manner. My mother (which this surprised me) asked why we don't have a good relationship, and wanted to have a better one. I don't listen to what everyone says.





If you want the relationship with your father then something has to be talked out. If you don't want that relationship, you don't have to have it.





Frankly i don't want that relationship with my mother and i haven't taken it. Your body and emotions tell you the truth, if your not ready then your not. Take your time with wanting to allow that relationship.
when someone constantly puts someone down it is usually because they fear that person, my father often competed with me, i could not understand why, especially at a young age, and it went on for a long time, then i realised it was because of his own failures, as i grew as a person, and i did this by getting the appropriate help i was able to accept his weaknesses, and i became strong, it was painful, could not understand why a father would compete with his own daughter, but then i realised he was not competing with me, it was himself, i learned alot about his childhood through my mum, made me realise why he was the way he was, i have learnt to forgive and heal and grow, it is not you who has the problem, do not blame yourself.
Although I'm not a parent, I can tell you that obviously you really care about becoming close with your father and getting him to treat you with the respect and love you deserve. have you tried not just talking to him but laying your feelings down as bluntly as he talks to you? Tell him the problem flat out and see what he does. If all else, explain to him that you have done nothing to deserve that kind of attitude towards you. If he really loves you, which im sure deep down he does, he will understand and he will come around. SInce you are 19, I feel that he may just be insecure to let you go. You said yourself that he treats your little sister like gold, maybe its because hes scared that now that youre an adult you will leave him and hell be all alone. Talk to your mother and sister and other family members about how you feel as well, maybe they know something about your father that you dont.





Dont forget to approach him with love though, above all else. Its so important to have a good relationship with both your parents and judging by your efforts to get in the right direction, I think that with some time and some honesty you will be able to work these issues out.
This is a very sad story. My heart goes out to you. I am a parent of 2 grown sons a also a grandma. I can only tell you that if your father has not changed his ways after 19 yrs. you shouldn't expect him to change anytime soon. It is you that must change the situation, It is time you move on and out. You may never be able to meet ';his: expectations of what ';he'; wants you to be. You have given us a great resume of who you are and I'd say your a great human being and I would be very proud of you if you were mine. He sounds to be very unhappy and uneducated. He should be told, ';our children are a product of who we are'; if he criticizes you, he is to blame, Which makes him look like the fool he is. I would really consider moving out and perhaps he could see how wrong he is that his little girl can make it on her own. You'll be a lot happier too. good luck sweetheart!