Been In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?

We've together 4years in that time I've had 2 boys with him.


And his rised my daugther who is 5years old as his own.


We got married 2 years ago but every since things have not been the same.


I'm getting accused of cheating all the time, and His been hitting me for the last 3 years on and off, which he hasn't done since feburary this year. I loved him very much but He telling what i can do and not do, also his telling me that i'm not aloud to go my family unless his with me.


And also his telling me that i'm not aloud to drive a car or have driving lessons or have anything to do with a car. so for the past month his not been living with us coz i kicked him out but i'm feeling guilty and i want him back. I know what should do but its hard when u got kids and u love the person and they're the only person u have as family.


I don't have friends or family, just my kids and him. P.S I'M 26 AND HIS 26 AS WELL. TNKS REALLY NEED ADVICE ASAPBeen In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
That's what he's counting on. He isolates you from others to keep you dependent on him. There are shelters for battered women that can help you get your life back on track. Do not feel guilty . Do not take him back. That is no way to live your life or an atmosphere to raise your children in. It's not only you to be concerned about but your children.Been In relationship for 4years but Now i'm in need of advice.?
Well, Life is tough I guess, Relationships always have their ups and downs, however the best advice I can give u, is to let him go. He is controlling ur life, and is far too strict on u. U dont want someone telling u what to do, well atleast i dont. But its ur choice. Are you okay, with him controlling over ur life, well the decision u make, will change ur life





Good luck x
Are you crazy? He has been hitting you for the last 3 years, wont let you do anything, not even drive a car.


You already have kicked him out, dont go back now. File for divorce.


Your kids DO NOT need to be in this environment.


Good luck.
Simple answer..





He IS VIOLENT -





YOU do not need to live like that -





HE will not change -





HE is overbearing and a control freak -





YOU WILL GET BADLY HURT - mentally and physically.





DO NOT TAKE HIM BACK - LEARN FROM THIS AND MOVE ON FROM IT....





HE WILL NOT CHANGE - and you know it.
well, he already crossed his limits. He hit you yesterday, he will hit you tomorrow. I suggest that you get financial independence through getting a job and file for divorce.
Get out before he really hurts you bad or kills you. Once the hitting starts, it does not stop.
he beats you...you need to leave him for good....
Ever since you got married he thinks he owns you, it is not a well talked about fact but there are fellas that think that once that wedding ring goes onto that finger you are there property to do with as they please. trust me had one.





I can tell you now for the sake of your kids you need to keep him out, for good. It will give your kids the wrong idea. how would you feel if your daughter grew up and got in with the same type of fella and stayed cause it is what you done. Or your son's grew up to think that it is ok to behave that way to women. You need to set an example for your kids and put yourself and you first.





This so called husband of yours is a Coward and a bully, he is not what anyone needs in there lives and I hope you are beginning to see that. The only thing he will do is hurt you and your kids in the long run, once they start hitting they don't ever really stop, and you cant really take the chance that he wouldn't hit them to hurt you mow that he is out keep him out, and as for his family keep them put too. try and reach out to your family if you can, it would make it easier on you if you had their support however you have shown that you do have what it takes to do it on your own,
he's a control freak, I was married to one. The best thing to do is expose him to his and your family. Tell his family he hits you tell your family he hits you but do it in front of him. he is obsessively jealous which is a personality disorder. In the end I couldn't go to family either or friends. People stopped visiting me except one friend who stood up to him.


Don't take him back, he will never change even though he promises to do. I eventually divorced after 16 years of hell. He moved on , found another partner and hit her. She threw him out, he moved on found another woman and hit her, it was never ending. he has Alzheimers now and apparently he is violent with the staff in the home.


They make you feel that it is all your fault and you begin to lose confidence. I found that I began to walk with my eyes looking at the ground, I didn't dare have eye contact with anyone in case he accused me of having an affair. Eventually one day I cracked and flew at him pushing him across the room he lost his balance and fell doubled up at the back of the TV. then I exposed him for what he was, a bully. he then stopped his antics for a while but it was too late for me and I divorced.


With the additional details you have given, definitely do not have him back. You will feel guilty for a while but have the support of your family around you. he will NOT change, please trust me on that one. he may be nice for a few months then it will start again. if you are providing then you don't need a bullying parasite on your case. get rid. You'll find a better life, oh and don't marry again, the step situation very seldom works and causes more horrendous problems.


If you say the family know what he does, that makes him even worse, he has no shame. He will never till the day he dies stop bullying. If you take him back, you'll spend more awful years till finally you realise he won't change but the years have flown by, by then and you'll have wasted your life.


Furthermore, he sounds like a spoilt brat mummy's boy that always did and still does get his own way. If you take him back, it's a regular pattern for him...oh, smack her one she always takes me back anyway. What signals are you giving him? he can obviously do what he wants.
please do not take him back, will get worse, promise you that.


was once in same situation as yourself, but i got out, i do have a child from the man also but we have no contact anymore, everything goes through my family regards to my child on access agreement that was set out by a court.


the first few months will be hard your finding your self again but does get better. you need to not take him back as nothing will change, your kids will see how your being treated and think this is ok, and is what kinda relationships they will except and live with.


who knows he may end up hurting you so bad your put into hospital and being fed by tube or one the kids can be his next bunching bag resulting in death!





time to get back with your family, i know be hard but go speak to your parents, explain how cant do it alone and need their help. they will come around and help you out. you have done it on your own without his help so you don't need him, you can make new friends on chat rooms or friendship sites i.e. makefriendsonline





stay strong for your kids and wouldn't regret it will find better guy who wouldn't dream of putting a hand on you who respect you and love you, encourage you to have friends and your family around, instead controlling you and making him his property = owns you. why leave a man own you, you are your own boss so start making your own rules and living your own life as you please. good luck
Anyone that keeps you from your family - needs to get out of your life. He is a control freak. You did the right thing by kicking him out. Stop making excuses - he hasn't hit you since february. You want to be around for your kids, right? Whats to say the next time he doesn't permanently damage you physically or worse - kill you. Do you want your kids to grow up in the same relationship? At least give them a fighting chance by not going back into your abusive situation. Please don't settle for that! I know it sounds cliche, but it is so true - STOP THE CYCLE!
i feel you should divorce your husband because hitting someone is not love .also if hes taking money from you and not helping with household expenses you don't need him you can do bad by yourself. and you have children to think of they don't need to be in that kind of environment. and you have a daughter to think of. just think... would you want someone to treat your daughter the way your being treated? if the answer is no than its time to put your foot down and realize you are worth and deserve more. the way your husband act it sounds like hes the one cheating!! do not let no man hold you back !! he don't want you to progress and move up in life. you need to show him that you don't need him if he cant respect you and treat you like the queen you are than hes not the guy for you!!! please leave him hes holding you back and hes fully aware of what hes doing do not give him that power and control over you. that's why he do the things he do because hes thinking shes not going any where?, also he feels strongly that he can do whatever he wants and your going to except it !!! its time to prove him wrong and show him a new you a independent strong woman with an attitude!!!!! leave him
I am not saying you are lying but I find it hard to believe you were with this man for 4 years and he never acted like this until you and him got married 2 years ago.





You said he is telling you that you are not allowed to see your family unless he is with you, then further down in your question you said you have no family or friends.





If he is hitting you and making your life miserable why do you want him back? This is crazy.





You should really think of what is best for the children. Seeing him hit you and treat you bad is not a good environment for them to live in.





You should seek counseling and get the help you need to give you and your children a better life.
Hes a con-troll freak you shouldn't stat there i was with some 1 like that and he would hit me but it started to get very savour he doesn't wont you to drive because then he nos he wont have any power over you.you got to it here take this advise and walk are stay with him and live your life with some 1 who just sees you as some 1 he can bully and con troll and when he is accusindg you of cheating hes doing it him self