I need some urgent advice please! My husband says that he is bored not with our relationship he's just bored because we don't do anything really. We don't have a lot of money and we are both busy but when he is home all he does is sit in front of the TV. He rarely does anything with our son unless he's watching TV with him. When I try to talk to him about our relationship (rarely because he gets pissy) he says that I always want to talk when he's busy (watching TV) I don't talk to him excessively or ask for him be around all of the time but its like he thinks that being at home with me and our toddler son is not fun and he'd rather go out with his friends. He says that he loves me and our son but I just don't get whats going on . Its tearing me apart that he doesn't want to be with us. We've been married for 4 years and our son is 1 and a 1/2. My husband is 23 and I am 24. I love him and our relationship was good for years and now its like this. I need some advice please.I need some urgent advice please! My husband says that he is bored not with our relationship he's just bored b
he's bored. and obviously not ready for what he has gotten himself into. u need to make a change. STOP letting him do what he is doing, cuz u don't want him to get ';pissy';. try not to get too upset or accuse him, but just Talk w/ him. communicate. u need to figure out what u expect from him as a husband, from yourself as a wife, and from the marriage. ask him the same, and if ur views are on the same page, most likely u can work thru ur problems. change some of ur usual routines, make things more interesting. but if u have differences in ur ideas of what husbands and wives and marriages are, u are in for some drama. but it's worth it to nip it in the bud NOW, i mean u both are too young to have this problem!I need some urgent advice please! My husband says that he is bored not with our relationship he's just bored b
Pick a day random day and get dressed up get a babysitter and go out make him go dont let him get out of it just go out and have a fun time
NOW is the time to get some help. Some professional help.
There is a lot of tension in a house with a toddler. He is obviously angry. He is withdrawn and probably depressed.
For now you can show him that you love him. It will probably help to remind him of better times and how much fun you have had together.
You can't Fix him. He and you will have a lot to work on. A pastor and a social worker and a respected parent would possible all be helpful in some combination. Even if he is being cold because he is thinking of straying or if he has strayed, it may not be too late if you are willing to work at it and willing to forgive eachother their faults.
God bless you and your family.
I don't know where to start!
First thing that needs to happen is for him to grow up. Are you willing to wait for that?
You could start his maturing by getting rid of the TV. Break it, disconnect the cable.
Start interacting together at home. Play a board game. Go for a walk. It doesn't cost a lot to do something together.
And, like others have suggested, you may need some time just the two of you. Surprise him.
There is a book called ';Boundaries in Marriage'; by Dr. Henry Cloud %26amp; Dr. John Townsend ($3.98 used on Amazon) that I think will help you. I think your husband's 'boredom' is not your problem. If he wants to stay at home and watch TV with your toddler, then maybe you could focus on 'You Time' while he is doing that. You could even go to Barnes %26amp; Noble's to read the Boundaries book or some other one that seems encouraging. (Free, just read it in the store.) Your husband is doing what he wants to do and you can't change that. You can only change what you are going to do about it from your end. So use it to your advantage and for your encouragement. Get out of the house. I had 4 toddlers in my home (all 2 years apart) when I was a young Mom. Don't let mommy-hood keep you from your personal growth and times of refreshing. And, by the way, I think he will have a hard time being bored trying to watch T.V. while single-handedly taking care of his darling little toddler while you are out having 'personal time' and learning about 'Boundaries'.
Go do things that are free. I love raquetball and I called a local YMCA and found out they were having a free week to check the place out. So my bf and I went and had a great time for free. Depending on where you live, go to the beach, go sledding, have a picnic, play tennis, go bike riding, take a walk....find something that is the cheapest and do it. Be creative. Have a few friends over once in a while. Good luck!
Like he said, he's bored. Short of breaking the television set (hmmmmm) schedule some activities. There should be museums, parks, even library read alouds (for your son) that you can express interest in going to sometimes. Tell him it is a family outing and insist that he go.
Try to get a sitter and have a romantic night in if you don't have much money. You don't have to cook a big meal. Just get someone to take jr. overnight. Order a pizza if you want, but serve it by candlelight. Then spend some time getting intimate.
Watch tv w/ your husband sometimes. Rent a short feature for your son. Rent a movie that he'd like. Rent one you'd like. Schedule movie night. Pop some corn. Make some hotdogs w/ all the condiments available and chips or fries. Watch the baby's movie first to knock him out. Then go put him to bed. Come back and snuggle w/ hubby to watch your movies.
Just use some imagination. Use some competition too. Challenge him to plan the most special family outing and then the most romantic one the two of you can afford.
If he wants to work on your marriage, he will. You are both so young, but that can be a good thing too.
Try worshiping sometimes. The family that prays together, stays together is a pretty good old adage. Visit a church together.
Good luck.
Ask him what he wants to do. Invite friends over . ask him why he is bored and if there is anything you can do to help.. he is in a boredom world now.same everyday routine . in a rut. talk and ask ..
Well i know the short on money game i play it every week . We do plane family vacation night this is when i make a special dinner we set up the living room Depending on the Event pick we had camp night where we set every thing up like we were camping under the sheet tent we had hamburger hotdogs and watched movies that were camp related and after the kids were fast a sleep i showed by boy the glow and the dark stars all over the room then had adult fun under the stars Hope this helps
It sounds like he needs to grow up and realize he is a father and husband.
My husband and I play poker, checkers, go for walks and just sit together on our swing and enjoy each other's company. We enjoy picnics and we will purchase cheese, bread, fruits and a roasted chicken or KFC as well as soda or water.
We like the same television shows and sports programs but we don't watch a lot of it. We do groceries together and cook together.
We spend each and every day together and we love it. However, we each enjoy a little alone time. For me, it's sending emails to my parents, brother and nephew or reading a mystery novel. For him, it's cutting the grass, doing lawn work, working on his 1971 VW Bug or washing his truck and my vehicle.
BTW - My husband is 63 and I am 40. We also have an awesome sex life and enjoy it every single day.
if u can pay ur own bills go be with someone when u feel like it n others words divorse him and b by ur self u dont need no man puttin u down focous on makin u and ur child happy forget him or mess around on him until he realize what he got will go if he dont pay attention
Seek marriage counseling,go to Dr. Phil
Throw out the T.V. Make him turn it off and go somewhere with you both. The Zoo is a good day out. Or maybe a free concert.
Pack a picnic and go to the park. Take a frizbee or a ball to play with.
Ask him if the T.V. is more important than family moments with your son.
Who cares if he gets pissy. You deserve to get pissy too.
First of all, you need to stick up for yourself. It seems to me that you try to talk to him and bring up things the two of you can do but he is the one that doesn't want to hear it.
Say this to him, ';If you don't want to be bored then you need to stop sitting in front of the TV all the time and talk to me. We could talk about interesting things and also come up with activities to do.';
The both of you need to compromise. He doesn't need to give up TV, instead the two of you should watch some together. But, rather then watching it all the time, you should eat dinner as a family, go on picnics, visit the park, a walk through the mall, go out to eat, etc.
There are many things that you can do to liven up the relationship including your sex life with role playing, sexual dice, and toys.
Both of you have to put in the effort if you want to save your marriage. If he doesn't work at it, he must not want to be happy.
Ummm...yes, I think that he IS bored by the relationship, but just doesn't want to say so. I've been married for almost 9 years now, and most married couples get that way sometimes. It helps to get out of the house...find something away from the TV that doesn't cost money. Or, if he thinks that his friends are so darn fun, have him bring the friends home instead of going out all of the time. The #1 thing is this I think: Don't nag about it-- It is always good to say how you feel, but if your partner doesn't want to talk about something you can't force it. Just do your best, and try to make him come out of his funk. In the end, actions will speak louder than words.
Get you a babysitter and then plan a very romantic dinner for two and wear something skimpy and remind him you're still the hot woman he married. Maybe go out to a club and so some dancing and have a few drinks. Remind him you two are still young.
I was with the same guy for 7 years and things were great for 5 of them. On my 6th year things got a little boring. All we do is watch tv, eat , and sleep. We fell into a routine. I would recommend spicing things up. I know you are a mother and have a child. If he loves watching tv maybe you should suggest watching something for the both of you guys. I know this sounds raunchy or just plain disgusting but it worked for me. I rented ';fantasy porn.'; It turned him around almost immediately. It's something he thought I'll never do and it let's him know that I'm up for suggestions if he ever needed. Try something different and something suprising. Men hate to talk so talking might seem like a chore to them. Express yourself in other ways. Try that first. Hope this helps.
