I need help to get my relationship back. Do you have advice?

my guy of 7 years on and off and the last time you know he had started dating another girl. Well he came back to me like after a month and things were going ok and i had moved in with him about 2 months ago and now he put me out becuz all I did was fight on him and he never hit me back and plus I have a real bad attitude. Well I messed up this time by emailing and doing small talk on the phone with the man I had got pregnant by from Texas in 06 which left me after he found out. The baby didn't make it because I had tried aborting him after everything people were telling me about I didn't need a child.. but ne way after my boyfriend read the emails he said he couldn't trust me nomore because he say after us being together for 7 years he feel like we were wasting time because I still like the baby daddy. Well I figured that since he(babydaddy) played with my emotions when I was pregnant then I thought that maybe I should have played with his by pretending that I had the baby which I know is wrong but the resentment I feel is almost unbearable because I hate the fact that he didn't make it. And now that i've lost my boyfriend who really care about me makes me really angry because I didn't realize that the only reason my babydaddy is talking to me is because he might think that I won't put him on child support and as soon as I tell him that no baby is here he really won't conversate with me then. And now my boyfriend saying he don't want to talk to me because he has nothing to say and he says that he sees no future in us because of trust. Which he hasn't been perfect hisself in the past. I tried explaining to him that I only talk to the babydaddy just to hurt him like he hurted me but he don't want to hear that. So what can I do or tell him to make him believe that our relationship can work. I told him that I handled the situation with the babydaddy by letting him kno that there is no child. and that i wont talk to him again. My boyfriend will answer the phone when I call but he say that he don't want to talk and that he may not want to talk in a week or month.....so what can I DO? I mean I really messed up. I mean it's always something with us, I know that we can make our relationship but he thinks otherwise and when he says something he mean it most of the time...I just don't want noone to take my place...i asked my friend how can i get him to talk to me and she told me to look up divine intervention.I need help to get my relationship back. Do you have advice?
Wow, sweetie, it doesn't sound like you're having too much luck with guys. What you really need to do, if you haven't already, is cut all contact with the man who got you pregnant. I don't think you need counseling, as one of the other answerers said. it sounds to me like your man really just needs some time to think things through. First, i want you to realize that you are a strong woman, and you may want to have him in your life, but you don't NEED to have him there. You could have just as great a life without him as with him.


You have been through a lot by the sounds of it, and i think you do need to try to get on with your life. One of the most impacting things a woman can do is abort her child. You said you lost it because you tried to abort it. And I bet you feel extremely guilty. I'm not going to say you shouldn't feel horrible about it. However, you also said your friend told you to seek divine intervention. i wonder if you know what she meant by this? I think you need to pray about the situation. First you need yourself to be healed before worrying about trying to get your relationship back. How great partners would you be if you have all this baggage. i think you need to get together with someone (if you have a Christian friend), or even on your own if you want, and just try having a serious talk with God. I hope you don't read this and stop when I say ';God'; and ';pray';. I'm really trying to help you here. If you do this, you will see that He is the only one you can talk to and not be judged for things like this. Ask him seriously to forgive you for everything that you feel bad or guilty about, and He will. I guarantee it. Next, you need to forgive yourself for the same things. This may take some time for you to do, and I know it`s not easy.


Your man doesn`t seem like a bad guy at all. you said you would hit him and he would never hit you back, I just think he is getting fed up with you playing games. Even if you don`t think you are, this is at least how it seems to him. Of course he wouldn`t want you talking to the guy who got you pregnant. He would have felt so threatened by that. Think about if it was the other way around and he was in contact with an exgirlfriend behind your back. you`d probably feel the same way. i also think you need to forgive the guy who got you pregnant, forgive him for hurting you (which will also be a hard thing to do, but totally worth it in the end - you will feel so much better).


You say you want to get your boyfriend back. I say you should give him a couple weeks to cool down - long enough that he will be able to talk to you calmly, but not enough time for him to possibly get interested in another girl. Then I think instead of trying to convince him by telling him that you`re sorry and that you`ll never talk to the other guy again, show him. I don`t know much of anything about your relationship, but after 7 years, you have to have something, or some place that you have shared that`s really special. Ask him to meet you there, and maybe give him a gift or something (an engraved watch maybe telling him how much you love him, or something close). if you really want him back, then fight for him. Don`t let him go and regret it later. At the same time, when he needs his space, give it to him. When you feel like getting mad at him, get mad, but if you feel like hitting him, remind yourself how hard you fought to get him back, adn what it would be like to lose him again. Don`t speak to the other guy any more. Pray about it. Forgive yourself and both guys for hurting you in any way. Give him time and space. Fight for him and get him back.


I really hope I helped. if I forgot anything, you can send me a message, or if you have more specific questions, I can try to give you advice. I really hope everything works out for you. Also, i will be praying for you, and If you want me to pray about anything specific, just let me know and I`ll do it, or I can help you. if you want, my email address is Gods__girl@hotmail.com, or send me a message on yahoo, like you did the first time. ps, why did you ask me my advice?


good luck, hun


God bless





I need help to get my relationship back. Do you have advice?
My goodness at this point I would suggest counseling. You can call your local mental health association and get a referral. Free counseling is available to you.Itt might be an option for your counselor to ask your boy friend to come into a session with you.


I am so sorry for all of your emotional pain. It sounds like the baby's father is not very nice and it would be to your advantage to stop all contact with him. There is no such thing as getting even. People with emotional problems never hear anything that you say.


How about looking forward to going to school and planning a career. I am sure if you put your thoughts and energy towards something worth while you would be a lot happier.


Good Luck, Big Hugs, Pink Poodle
Girl...Im going to talk to you like i known you for years( so please don't get defended)


Ok Ms. Shaneice....First off, your being dumb leave that nicca(Ex-BabyDaddy) alone, it's clear that he doesn't want anything to do with you...on that situation tell him that there is NO baby and leave it at that, don't tell him any details just THERE IS NO BABY! And be done with it, now on your boyfriend situation...now that very clear he wants to be with you and make it work(I can tell cause me and my boyfriend are having the same problems) TRUST! Shaneice, sweetheart it's a 50/50 thing...give him time to cool off(a week) and call him in a calm voice and say that you would like to talk with him in person if he doesn't want to...just say what you have to say over the phone. Girl apologize to him, (Here is something me and my man are doing) we are STARTING OVER...everything in the passed never happen, you don't bring up anything and he doesn't...start the relationship fresh and learn to trust him, which is the reason why u feel the need to hurt(ex-babydaddy). Trust sweetie, this will work you have to learn to let go of the past your past is a lesson which you have learned from and is still learning from. I know we don't know each other but, If you have any questions, or just want someone to talk to here's my email(Alise_25@yahoo.com)


Good Luck


And remember let go of your past, it's only hurting the one that really loves u.....

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