Semi-long story. Over 4 year relationship ended, for good unfortunately. Still loves me? Any advice?

Okay, so my ex- boyfriend and I were together on and off for the past 4.5 years. When I say ';on and off'; I mean that we've had a few dumb weekend-long break-ups and one big, no-communication break-up for 2 months. We met when I was fresh out of high school and he was half way through college... complete different points in life.





I hate school and seem to get stressed a lot easier than most. Stress= miserable person to my boyfriend. School also makes me insecure/ jealous about what my boyfriend was up to... so the constant accusations and bickering were always an issue... except when I was out of school for the summer. We get along like a normal couple when I have no academic stress.





This is my last semester of school so obviously the stress of finishing my courses, finding a career, maintaining a life and juggling 6 classes got the best of me. It got the best of us. He dumped me 2 weeks ago because he couldn't stand the way I treated him. I absolutely cannot blame him because I was unbearable. Did I mention that I put so much stress on myself because once I completed school I was going to move into his house with him?





Anyway, I know the bickering and jealousy got the best of us and that it is over... but he seems wishy- washy. He will talk to me online but not on the phone, he tells me he loves me (and no, it is not always me who initiates the 'I love you' nor am I always the one initiating an online conversation.)





Over the years we have become best friends and neither of us want to lose that. His description of how he feels about me is I'm his best friend, he loves me, and he loves being intimate... while making sure to emphasize that it is over.





I would drop anything in my life in order to get back to the happy us and he knows it... I feel as though he wants the best of both worlds (someone to love him always and someone to do whatever with.) I'm afraid that if I muster up some will-power and stop talking to him that he will completely put me in the past. I also know that being available at his every desire makes me look pathetic, as does constantly being available to chat online.





If it makes any sense whatsoever, my hopes of us working out are so high but they are also so low at the same time. Am I just fooling myself by not letting go?Semi-long story. Over 4 year relationship ended, for good unfortunately. Still loves me? Any advice?
You do not need to put yourself through that. Its hard because you obviously still have strong feelings for him. but he is just getting what he wants, and that is not fair to you. My ex wanted me to stick around cause he cared for me, but he didn't want me around his (girl friends) because he never knew if one would try and get with him and that wouldn't be cool to do around me. Be strong, stick to your believes and what you feel is right! =) Best of luck to you!Semi-long story. Over 4 year relationship ended, for good unfortunately. Still loves me? Any advice?
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This isn't really about who you are, it's about some behaviors that will cause problems even in future relationships if you don't deal with them. You will be the same person after you find ways to manage your stress levels.





When you're ready to let go, you will.