I'll try to be brief, even though it's a complicated story :p
Basically I'm a 19 year old guy and have been with my boyfriend, 17, for about 18 months now. The first year of our relationship started off great, went a little rocky but then eventually smoothed out at the start of this year, to the extent we were both really happy.
The only downside was his parents, who it seems are incredibly homophobic and have given me nothing but grief since he told them about us. If they're uncomfortable with it then sure, I can understand that, but when his mum started going around calling me a paedophile (and I'm talking very publically here) I really lost my temper and told her to keep away from me because I was sick of her vile attitude. She responded by going to the police, claiming I'd had sex with my boyfriend before he turned 16.
The police spent 3 months of this summer investigating this, during which I was told to stay away from him. Having been close to him for the past 5 years and rarely going a day or two without any contact with him, this was nothing short of torture. We then made contact again once the police finally accepted that we hadn't had sex and released me from bail, which his mum didn't like one bit and responded by outing him to his entire family, telling them all he was confused because he'd been sexually abused. As a result he moved out to live with his grandparents and refuses to move back while she lives in his old house.
We then went a month without any contact after his parents essentially stole his phone off him, only for him to again make contact last week. My problem is that after all this time without him I feel so insecure about our relationship. Things between me and him are fine, but to give an example, he hasn't yet texted me tonight. Ever since he contacted me last Sunday he's always texted me at around 11pm just as he goes to bed, and the fact he hasn't tonight is terrifying me. I've had to physically move my phone away from me to stop myself texting him every few minutes to probe if he's there or not. I guess I'm absolutely terrified of going through a long period of no contact with him again, and it's something I want to deal with now before I strangle our relationship to death.
At the same time, seeing his family arguing and falling out with each other over this (especially his mum), I feel torn. On one hand, I feel responsible and completely guilty, whilst I also feel she's completely brought this upon herself?
Okay, that wasn't brief at all :p Thanks for your time anyway xDoes anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
It sounds like the relationship is already over - move on.
You seem very keen on this relationship. The other guy seems to be indicating that for whatever reason he wants to move on.
Whether it be personal preference or family pressure makes no difference.Does anyone have any advice about security in a relationship?
Your not responsible for him being gay and his parents not being accepting. It was bound to happen if not with you, someone else. You have to realize too what he's going through and how he's feeling about all of this I'm sure he's torn inside about how his family is treating him. I think you need to give him and his family some space if you want things to work out. If you love him, you should put your wants aside and be more supportive of what he needs.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
I have a boyfriend in the Navy who has been gone for a month so far; he's signed on for 6 years. We've been together for a year and a half and I knew from the beginning that he'd be leaving. For some reason I didn't think it would be as hard as it has been when I told him I'd wait for him. I feel terrible about this because we love each other very much but I'm afraid that the distance is going to be too much for me. I'm just not happy with it being this way. I also met this really amazing older guy recently who isn't making this situation any easier because he is just so wonderful. I just need some advice on what I should do.Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
stay with the NAVY guy plzplzplz. stay away from the older guy.the navy guy likes u prolly more than u like him, stick with him. trust me. help http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
Well this is a hard one. Your actualy bf could be THE one...but long distance relationships are very hard and take more committment than we want to. The easy way out is breaking up with him and date this other great guy...although you don麓t know if this great guy still might be worth leaving your bf. It麓s all a risk, and I know how complicated it must be. I麓ve been there. But because this is about love, you must stay with the person you love right now, not the one who麓s making you have butterflies. Because love is deeper than butterflies in your stomach.
But if you believe truthfully in your heart that it won麓t work (not that it麓s hard because any relationship is hard) then leave your bf because you might actually be doing something good for him too, to find someone else...
As long as you decide something out of your good heart, things will work out for you...because if you were in the navy away loving and missing your bf and he麓d be here asking for advice on whether to saty with you or an amazing girl he met...well, just think about it.
6 years is a long time to wait on someone. A lot can change. You 2 would probably change, certainly being in the navy would change him, and you're not in contact that much to change and grow together. You would also find u would start drifting apart as your life would go on, you would have so many experiences without him.
I was in the same situation some years ago when my bf went away to study- also for 6 years. I met someone else after a few months and broke up with him. He was very hurt but I just could not wait for him that long.
I can understand your stress right now. And imagine its only a month. As heartbreaking as it may be for the 2 of you it might be better to break up with him. All the best!
this is a difficult one because like you say you knew this would happen eventually, but I don't think we ever fully prepare ourselves for it. I would say that you musn't do anything with thisolder guy until you sort it out with your boyfriend, that would just be plain deceitful and hurtful. If your struggling now imagine enduring 6yrs of this? you need to think about wether you love him enough to be apart from him for long periods without straying. Good Luck!!
I think the best thing for you to do is to listen to your heart, but to also sit down or have a talk with your bf in the Navy. You've told him that you would wait for him and its important for him to know how you are feeling. Its gana be hard to tell him and its gana be hard for him to hear, but if he really cares about you then he would let you do what makes you happy and not make you feel bad about it;-)
i mean it better to tell your bf now how you feel then to go out with this other guy and feel guilty because you were supposed to be waiting for your bf in the Navy
if you truly love your boyfriend you would wait for him no matter what even if it seems hard. but if you dont think that the relationship is going to last w/your boyfriend anyways you shouldnt put yourself through the pain of waiting for him and then breaking up with him. go for the older guy if thats how you truly feel.
stay with the NAVY guy plzplzplz. stay away from the older guy.the navy guy likes u prolly more than u like him, stick with him. trust me. help http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>Need some advice with my long distance relationship.?
Well this is a hard one. Your actualy bf could be THE one...but long distance relationships are very hard and take more committment than we want to. The easy way out is breaking up with him and date this other great guy...although you don麓t know if this great guy still might be worth leaving your bf. It麓s all a risk, and I know how complicated it must be. I麓ve been there. But because this is about love, you must stay with the person you love right now, not the one who麓s making you have butterflies. Because love is deeper than butterflies in your stomach.
But if you believe truthfully in your heart that it won麓t work (not that it麓s hard because any relationship is hard) then leave your bf because you might actually be doing something good for him too, to find someone else...
As long as you decide something out of your good heart, things will work out for you...because if you were in the navy away loving and missing your bf and he麓d be here asking for advice on whether to saty with you or an amazing girl he met...well, just think about it.
6 years is a long time to wait on someone. A lot can change. You 2 would probably change, certainly being in the navy would change him, and you're not in contact that much to change and grow together. You would also find u would start drifting apart as your life would go on, you would have so many experiences without him.
I was in the same situation some years ago when my bf went away to study- also for 6 years. I met someone else after a few months and broke up with him. He was very hurt but I just could not wait for him that long.
I can understand your stress right now. And imagine its only a month. As heartbreaking as it may be for the 2 of you it might be better to break up with him. All the best!
this is a difficult one because like you say you knew this would happen eventually, but I don't think we ever fully prepare ourselves for it. I would say that you musn't do anything with thisolder guy until you sort it out with your boyfriend, that would just be plain deceitful and hurtful. If your struggling now imagine enduring 6yrs of this? you need to think about wether you love him enough to be apart from him for long periods without straying. Good Luck!!
I think the best thing for you to do is to listen to your heart, but to also sit down or have a talk with your bf in the Navy. You've told him that you would wait for him and its important for him to know how you are feeling. Its gana be hard to tell him and its gana be hard for him to hear, but if he really cares about you then he would let you do what makes you happy and not make you feel bad about it;-)
i mean it better to tell your bf now how you feel then to go out with this other guy and feel guilty because you were supposed to be waiting for your bf in the Navy
if you truly love your boyfriend you would wait for him no matter what even if it seems hard. but if you dont think that the relationship is going to last w/your boyfriend anyways you shouldnt put yourself through the pain of waiting for him and then breaking up with him. go for the older guy if thats how you truly feel.
Can someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
its jus dat lately we haven't been talking and we dnt do things together and its all boring. So i need advice how to relight the spark which was once there. We have been dating for 6 months nowCan someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
If within only 6 months of dating and you two are already bored with each other then maybe you should rethink the relationship. I'm a strong believer that you are in a relationship to find the right person and if the one you are with isn't providing the comfort, compassion, communication, and everything else that goes along then its probably not the right relationship for you. Its so early for the both of you to be bored already. Whats going to happen down the road when you have exhausted all of you resources and energy in making this relationship work? I would sit down and talk to him about how you feel and see whats on his mind as well. If its not meant to be then break ties now while its still early. Good luck to you.Can someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
If you're that bored after 6 months can you imagine what it would be like after 12?! It sounds like your relationship has run its course.
But...I do believe in trying, so.... you could make a romantic meal and then have a naughty strip ready for him as desert. Or you could go for a pub lunch a have a few drinks to relax.
just meet with him, and make the things clear for dispute. if u feel he can come than ok otherwise forget him
if you have only been dating 6 months and this has happened already then i think you probably arent right for eachother anyway :(
take a break...u will both realise what uve got and things be peachy again
the key is in what you said ';we don't do things together';. That's what you need to do, share common experiences, have common interests - that is the bond of friendship and a good relationship. If you don't do this then you have nothing in common, which means long silences and then the silent death of a relationship. So you have to get both of you doing things together, cinema, meals out, activity days, going to the zoo .... anything where both of you are communicating about what you're doing together and hopefully having some fun as well.
The spark will be relighted but the key is communication, communication, communication. And you only get that by arranging to spend some time together.
Go somewhere, like a hotel that has one of those big bathtubs with the jets and lights some candles and take a bath together. Remember that scene in Pretty woman? Change your look. Get a makeover. I change my appearance all the time to keep my husband interested and he's always telling me I'm sexy. Wear feminine clothes. Do you wear makeup? Is it too much, or not enough? How's your hygiene? If you are living together is the house clean or dirty, is dinner on time? Is the trash taken out. It DOES NOT MATTER who does this, the trash that is. I hope your not one of those women who talks a man to death. Men need to have quiet, they need soothing words strategically worded, and kept to a minimum. Men like to talk about themselves. Give him a chance to do that. They need sometimes to have their head petted or neck massaged. I know my hubbie does. He is the middle son. Middle sons are like that. All these things are factors in a relationship. A relationship takes WORK. No one ever said it was a cake walk.
If the spark's already gone after just six months of dating, is it really worth saving? You're going to have to keep beating life back into the relationship again and again.
Find someone new.
O to completion.....A, Outdoor stuff, dress to impress, clubs!.....introduce a friend or two.....get a dvd and spend the night pleasuring him...come on girl use your imagination before someone does it for you!
can you remember a date or time when you both had a fantastic time? A time when ye were both really together and loved up? If so = you need to go back to that place - and hopefully it will reignite that spark foryou both.
xx
If you had six years...but six months? Time to move on. Find someone else. The spark is gone. How many times do you think you want to keep rekindling this friendship?
if its only been 6months and your already getting like this you are more likely to have problems in the relationship later on in life.
I would try anal
If you really love him than you will hold on to him. If you both are losing interest in each other than i'm not sure what you should do. But if he really loves you and you really love him spend time together and let him know how much you love him and ask him where he thinks the relationship is going. Like you said ';you don't talk, or spend time together.'; quality time is the most important thing in a relationship so try and spend some time with him and talk to him.homemade blackheads
If within only 6 months of dating and you two are already bored with each other then maybe you should rethink the relationship. I'm a strong believer that you are in a relationship to find the right person and if the one you are with isn't providing the comfort, compassion, communication, and everything else that goes along then its probably not the right relationship for you. Its so early for the both of you to be bored already. Whats going to happen down the road when you have exhausted all of you resources and energy in making this relationship work? I would sit down and talk to him about how you feel and see whats on his mind as well. If its not meant to be then break ties now while its still early. Good luck to you.Can someone give me advice on how to save my relationship wit mi b/f?
If you're that bored after 6 months can you imagine what it would be like after 12?! It sounds like your relationship has run its course.
But...I do believe in trying, so.... you could make a romantic meal and then have a naughty strip ready for him as desert. Or you could go for a pub lunch a have a few drinks to relax.
just meet with him, and make the things clear for dispute. if u feel he can come than ok otherwise forget him
if you have only been dating 6 months and this has happened already then i think you probably arent right for eachother anyway :(
take a break...u will both realise what uve got and things be peachy again
the key is in what you said ';we don't do things together';. That's what you need to do, share common experiences, have common interests - that is the bond of friendship and a good relationship. If you don't do this then you have nothing in common, which means long silences and then the silent death of a relationship. So you have to get both of you doing things together, cinema, meals out, activity days, going to the zoo .... anything where both of you are communicating about what you're doing together and hopefully having some fun as well.
The spark will be relighted but the key is communication, communication, communication. And you only get that by arranging to spend some time together.
Go somewhere, like a hotel that has one of those big bathtubs with the jets and lights some candles and take a bath together. Remember that scene in Pretty woman? Change your look. Get a makeover. I change my appearance all the time to keep my husband interested and he's always telling me I'm sexy. Wear feminine clothes. Do you wear makeup? Is it too much, or not enough? How's your hygiene? If you are living together is the house clean or dirty, is dinner on time? Is the trash taken out. It DOES NOT MATTER who does this, the trash that is. I hope your not one of those women who talks a man to death. Men need to have quiet, they need soothing words strategically worded, and kept to a minimum. Men like to talk about themselves. Give him a chance to do that. They need sometimes to have their head petted or neck massaged. I know my hubbie does. He is the middle son. Middle sons are like that. All these things are factors in a relationship. A relationship takes WORK. No one ever said it was a cake walk.
If the spark's already gone after just six months of dating, is it really worth saving? You're going to have to keep beating life back into the relationship again and again.
Find someone new.
O to completion.....A, Outdoor stuff, dress to impress, clubs!.....introduce a friend or two.....get a dvd and spend the night pleasuring him...come on girl use your imagination before someone does it for you!
can you remember a date or time when you both had a fantastic time? A time when ye were both really together and loved up? If so = you need to go back to that place - and hopefully it will reignite that spark foryou both.
xx
If you had six years...but six months? Time to move on. Find someone else. The spark is gone. How many times do you think you want to keep rekindling this friendship?
if its only been 6months and your already getting like this you are more likely to have problems in the relationship later on in life.
I would try anal
If you really love him than you will hold on to him. If you both are losing interest in each other than i'm not sure what you should do. But if he really loves you and you really love him spend time together and let him know how much you love him and ask him where he thinks the relationship is going. Like you said ';you don't talk, or spend time together.'; quality time is the most important thing in a relationship so try and spend some time with him and talk to him.
I need advice on my long distance relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 years. We have had some rough patches and have broken up 2 times. He currently is half way across the country. While he was home he drank a lot of beer. I was always there for for him to make sure nothing horrible happened. Now that he is away I can not control the situation. I think he drinks too much and I don't know how to be okay about it. He loves me soooo much but will not drink a little less for me. I don't expect him to stop. I just want to be okay with it. I need some advice on how to cope with it. I don't want to leave him cause he is the most amazing man in the world but I need to stop stressing about his drinking. Please if you have any advice ........ lemme know.I need advice on my long distance relationship?
I do have some advice, yet probably not too different from anyone else's - especially family / friends. 2 points.
1. He's not going to stop, or slow down, the problematic drinking for you, or anyone else, unfortunately. Not even for the Pope, his mother or Jesus H. Christ himself. He is only going to do that for himself - if and when he is ready. Hopefully something inside him with motivate him. He may love you deeply, but that isn't enough.
2. You aren't going to be ';okay with it';. You may find ways to cope and deal with it, but you will stress with it, as you most likely are now. However, you may in time simply ';accept'; all this; yet that would be a shame.
3.Unfortunately, we usually can't control the actions of others - only our own.
4. Good luckI need advice on my long distance relationship?
he is an alcoholic. send him anonymous ';Alchoholics anonymous'; emails for his local chapter
Instead of titling this advice on long distant relationships, you should have titled it how to deal with alcohalic loved ones. You should be prepared for when he moves back to where you are and he is an alcohalic...sorry but I don't have any advice but to keep in touch with him while he is away, talk about normal things and little things that are going on in your life that he might be interested in knowing....keeping that spark alive. Good luck.
He is the one who has to deal with it and the possible results. If he won't stop drinking then no one else is to blame if something bad happens. He needs to learn to be responsible and maybe this is a good chance for him to learn something.
I do have some advice, yet probably not too different from anyone else's - especially family / friends. 2 points.
1. He's not going to stop, or slow down, the problematic drinking for you, or anyone else, unfortunately. Not even for the Pope, his mother or Jesus H. Christ himself. He is only going to do that for himself - if and when he is ready. Hopefully something inside him with motivate him. He may love you deeply, but that isn't enough.
2. You aren't going to be ';okay with it';. You may find ways to cope and deal with it, but you will stress with it, as you most likely are now. However, you may in time simply ';accept'; all this; yet that would be a shame.
3.Unfortunately, we usually can't control the actions of others - only our own.
4. Good luckI need advice on my long distance relationship?
he is an alcoholic. send him anonymous ';Alchoholics anonymous'; emails for his local chapter
Instead of titling this advice on long distant relationships, you should have titled it how to deal with alcohalic loved ones. You should be prepared for when he moves back to where you are and he is an alcohalic...sorry but I don't have any advice but to keep in touch with him while he is away, talk about normal things and little things that are going on in your life that he might be interested in knowing....keeping that spark alive. Good luck.
He is the one who has to deal with it and the possible results. If he won't stop drinking then no one else is to blame if something bad happens. He needs to learn to be responsible and maybe this is a good chance for him to learn something.
Need some advice for a Long Distance Relationship.Please see?
Okay well i really love this girl who is from Texas, US and i am from India (the country not the state Indiana). She is 15 and i turned 19 on 4th October. We love each other a lot and we are really really REALLY compatible. We are just so very happy with each other since we've met it's like everything is so perfect.
The fact that i love her so very much also worries me that i might lose her some day. She is 15 and by the time she will turn 18 a lot of boys will hit on her there ( yes she is beautiful) and smart guys too. I trust her and i know she loves me a lot but i am just worried that later the fact that i live so far away could make things go wrong? I love her a lot and i cant afford to lose her.
Should i be worrying? Or do you have any advice as to how to keep things really strong and unbreakable between us two so that no one might ever be able to come between us no matter if i live half way across the world? I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.
Thanks! 10 points waiting!!Need some advice for a Long Distance Relationship.Please see?
well, the fact you are asking this really shows you care alot for her i know how it feels to be in love allz i can say is to tell her exactly how u feel pour your heart out to her and make sure its the real way you feel and age has nothing to do with it sure it will play a factor for some people but love comes in all different kinds, so to answer ur question you should definately consider meeting her at least once bcuz that could make all the difference but if its love she will wait on you for sure hope this helped. :]Need some advice for a Long Distance Relationship.Please see?
It won't work. She is only a kid. Kids change bf often. Get own with your life and get your education and and an older lady.
Well first of all, there's no magic number her in the states when guys start hitting on her.
If she's as beautiful as you say, they're probably hitting on her right now.
The only way long distance relationships have ever worked for me is if I knew I was eventually going to be with them, (eventually by a year or so).
If you don't know when you can be with her, then honestly I don't know if a LDR is a good thing for you two, especially since you're both so young, but if there's a way you can get there and be with her, then just hang on.
The fact that i love her so very much also worries me that i might lose her some day. She is 15 and by the time she will turn 18 a lot of boys will hit on her there ( yes she is beautiful) and smart guys too. I trust her and i know she loves me a lot but i am just worried that later the fact that i live so far away could make things go wrong? I love her a lot and i cant afford to lose her.
Should i be worrying? Or do you have any advice as to how to keep things really strong and unbreakable between us two so that no one might ever be able to come between us no matter if i live half way across the world? I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions.
Thanks! 10 points waiting!!Need some advice for a Long Distance Relationship.Please see?
well, the fact you are asking this really shows you care alot for her i know how it feels to be in love allz i can say is to tell her exactly how u feel pour your heart out to her and make sure its the real way you feel and age has nothing to do with it sure it will play a factor for some people but love comes in all different kinds, so to answer ur question you should definately consider meeting her at least once bcuz that could make all the difference but if its love she will wait on you for sure hope this helped. :]Need some advice for a Long Distance Relationship.Please see?
It won't work. She is only a kid. Kids change bf often. Get own with your life and get your education and and an older lady.
Well first of all, there's no magic number her in the states when guys start hitting on her.
If she's as beautiful as you say, they're probably hitting on her right now.
The only way long distance relationships have ever worked for me is if I knew I was eventually going to be with them, (eventually by a year or so).
If you don't know when you can be with her, then honestly I don't know if a LDR is a good thing for you two, especially since you're both so young, but if there's a way you can get there and be with her, then just hang on.
I need advice please. . . . My first adult relationship?
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 4 months. I'm 19 years old and he is 24 years old. We are NOT having sex and I'm still a virgin. I'm a senior in college and I plan on going to grad school. The grad school I wish to attend is about 4 hours away from his city. I'm graduating 2010 and I want to start my grad program in 2011. My grad program isn't near him and he says he cannot do long distant relationship. . . . and said he wants to break up with me now but doesn't want to. He said he doesn't want to get close to me and then have to lose me. However, if we break up NOW, then he wants to continue hanging out and being friends. This won't stop us from getting close. I don't understand him and I refuse to sacrifice my school for him. I have verbally communicated this to him many times. What do you think we should do?I need advice please. . . . My first adult relationship?
You've been dating for 4 months. You plan on going away in 2011 - over a year from now. Good grief - you guys hardly know each other and your relationship is in the infant stages. Why are you worrying about what will happen in 2011? Jump off that bridge when you come to it...
You should both quit worrying about something that may not come to pass. Who knows? You might hate each other by next month.I need advice please. . . . My first adult relationship?
It is hard to have long term relationship. You should pay attention to your school and find someone else. If you do care about him and just be friends. That is great you are a virgin and Please stay a virgin till you get married and sign marriage certificate. A guy has to take care of you financially and emotionally. Take Care and Good Luck.
even if you guys stay together now, you'll proly still end up breaking up by the time you have to go away. but either way, breaking up and staying friends isn't going to change things so either stay together and see what happens or break up and cut ties completely so you can both move on.
Of coarse don't let any thing get in the way of the hard work you have put into school but girl if you want to lose your virginity then do it, nothing better than a little sex to take the stress of school away (.*_*.) don't worry be happy !!!
Break up with him now and cut all ties with him. Forget about him. Worry about yourself and your education, dear. They will always be other men in your future.
he's being honest with you now by telling you that he can't do long distance.
break up but remain friends and after you get out of grad school then you can see if there is anything there still
Just be friends. The relationship doesn't need more than that.
Break up now, but refuse to hang out with him. What would be the point?
You've been dating for 4 months. You plan on going away in 2011 - over a year from now. Good grief - you guys hardly know each other and your relationship is in the infant stages. Why are you worrying about what will happen in 2011? Jump off that bridge when you come to it...
You should both quit worrying about something that may not come to pass. Who knows? You might hate each other by next month.I need advice please. . . . My first adult relationship?
It is hard to have long term relationship. You should pay attention to your school and find someone else. If you do care about him and just be friends. That is great you are a virgin and Please stay a virgin till you get married and sign marriage certificate. A guy has to take care of you financially and emotionally. Take Care and Good Luck.
even if you guys stay together now, you'll proly still end up breaking up by the time you have to go away. but either way, breaking up and staying friends isn't going to change things so either stay together and see what happens or break up and cut ties completely so you can both move on.
Of coarse don't let any thing get in the way of the hard work you have put into school but girl if you want to lose your virginity then do it, nothing better than a little sex to take the stress of school away (.*_*.) don't worry be happy !!!
Break up with him now and cut all ties with him. Forget about him. Worry about yourself and your education, dear. They will always be other men in your future.
he's being honest with you now by telling you that he can't do long distance.
break up but remain friends and after you get out of grad school then you can see if there is anything there still
Just be friends. The relationship doesn't need more than that.
Break up now, but refuse to hang out with him. What would be the point?
I need advice about a long distance relationship.?
Imagine, you meet a girl from another state, start talking on the phone and begin to form a close bond. You begin to talk every single night for hours. You like everything about this person. Next, you meet her. It's been 6 months, and when you meet, sparks fly so to speak. You stay in a hotel and have a little fun. You love this girl very much, so does she. Departing sucks, but the thought of meeting again keeps things strong. This goes on for another year,you've been to her town and she's been to yours quite a few times. Then, you go to different colleges, putting you even farther away than before. She starts to get pissed when you put school over her sometimes and start fighting even tho you have never fought much before. Things get worse. School becomes stressful, and you start drifting away. You don't talk for a while, then she calls you drunk telling you she found someone else and they already had sex! What should you do? You still love her very much.I need advice about a long distance relationship.?
What you should do is move on. She was actually sending you some very obvious signs way before she let the hammer fall.I need advice about a long distance relationship.?
You need to ask yourself where is your relationship going?
Because (not to sound completely psychoanalytical or something), despite the fact that you have maintained a relationship, you are focusing on college from what it sounds like. I'm not suggesting to do anything completely radical, but there is going to be a point of no return in your relationship, and whatever decision you will make will determine whether or not you will stay together. I would highly suggest trying to make it work if you still love her, but if you're trying to make something work that might not have meant to be, then just let it go and be happy without a long distance relationship. It will be hard at first, but if you think about it, if she meant what she drunk dialed you about, than maybe it just wasn't something that was meant to be.
go find a local girl and forget about her.
well, id tell he to *beep* off personally... i don't think its working out if its gone to that extent, you could try calling her, talking to her to find out for sure but i think its probably over.. sorry man
I'm sorry, but you really need to think about this one. How strong is a relationship that prompts someone to ';get pissed when you put school over her sometimes'; and then ';she calls you drunk telling you she found someone else and they already had sex!';
She didn't obviously care that your education was important to you, and it was a TEMPORARY thing, where SHE could be PERMANENT. If she saw the big picture, and herself in it, she would have supported your goals. But she didn't.
If she slept with someone else before calling it quits with you properly, she was probably looking around for a bit. He might not have been the first. I'm sorry to say that, but it's most likely true.
If she's meant to be the one, she will be back and none of this will matter, but it SHOULD matter. Trust is hard to get back once it's broken. Only you know if you can trust her after this, and how strong your feelings are.
I wish you the best of luck.
Well, I'm in a LDR too, and we started only 350 miles away... and now we are 2,700 miles away. It's hard.
But really, our relationship is built on communication and trust. School is REALLY tough for me right now too... but we never lost that communication thing [[we still talk on the phone for hours every night]], and that's what I think happened to you guys.
But nonetheless, this is still CHEATING and it is evident that she wants to move on. I know this is painful, and I know it's hard to let go of the person you love.
But really, a LDR cannot happen without lots and lots of trust. And obviously now, that is gone.
This probably isn't what you want to hear, but it's what you need to hear. You need to break it off, and find someone [[local or not]] who will be empathetic to your school situation, who will communicate with you, and who will be faithful and honest to you unconditionally. Decide that you deserve better.
You should wait til a time when the two of you can (or want to) share the same county. Then if the passion is still there on both sides go for it!
Tell her bye! bye! bye! I also think that more communication would help...You should have calmly communicated with eachother about your disagreements/problems. Never leave the conversation angry or unresolved...;)
That's why I don't like long distance relationships... it is very hard. You guys spend less time together and creates more stress. If I were you, I would just stay friends with her because if it is meant to happen, it will happen. Just let things flow my friend.
Have you ever heard the saying, it is better to be alone and have pride and respect for yourself, then to be with someone not worthy of you? Well let me tell you this sweetie, as sad as this situation she really doesn't have the right priorities in mind. School is the most important aspect right now, girls come and go but what you must understand is that education and a good degree will get you far in life. She seems to me the person that wants to have fun, and lacks the ability to be responsible, if she could easily just get drunk and have sex, this is just the beginning after a year. Think of what she can do as the relationship develops and she realizes this is not what she wants. If i were you, I would be happy that you figured out what type of person she is NOW, before it got majorly serious. If I were you, I would just let her go, and keep your pride. If you really love her, you need to call her and ask her what she wants, when she is sober. If she apologizes and tries to make an effort with you, you could forgive her. However I think that she is the type of people who can't handle distance and who are looking for fun now, and don't think about tomorrow. She must really not be that attached to you, as sad as I am to say this. YOu can do much better, why do you want a girl that will treat you like this? Good luck hun!!
Well my advice is that it's good you love her, but I think that you should get over her because that is a red flag saying that she doesn't have commitment to your relationship. She says she moved on and you should get back at her and get a rebound.
ALSO
You can do this, call her and talk to her and apologize even if u didn't do anything wrong. Girls like it when they are right.
Tell her over and over that u love her and ur not over her.
I'm sure she'll get back with you...............
if she had the guts to go and cheat on you,that aint love bro.that jjust aint love.
You shouldn't make yourself crazy obsessing over it. You guys had something very special, but it didn't work out, and I know it's sad, but it's part of life. I would say it's best to move on, focus on school, spend free time with friends, and try to meet some new girls. I know that's hard to do, but time helps everything. Don't wait for her to come to her senses, because unfortunately, the odds are, she won't. You guys might be able to be friends, but that might take some time, so just spend some time enjoying being young and in college.
I would try to break it up with her at least for a little while. You both are in college. You need to go out there, figure out who you really are, concentrate on school and meet/ date other people to make sure you two are meant for each other. It sounds like she is frustrated with the situation and rather A. Really has moved on or B. was just trying to make you jealous. I would break it off for a while. It will give you both time to think if you do want to be together. If you guys are meant to be then it will happen. Good luck!
move on and long distance relationship usually doesnt really work..
well if she is the kind of person that goes off and gets drunk with other guys and if that is the kind of person u want to keep a relationship with then go for it but to me she doent seen like the kind of person you can trust where if she said she is working late she is not cheeting on you so if you like that kind of person go for it if she is the king of person u dont trust then dont talk to her
What you should do is move on. She was actually sending you some very obvious signs way before she let the hammer fall.I need advice about a long distance relationship.?
You need to ask yourself where is your relationship going?
Because (not to sound completely psychoanalytical or something), despite the fact that you have maintained a relationship, you are focusing on college from what it sounds like. I'm not suggesting to do anything completely radical, but there is going to be a point of no return in your relationship, and whatever decision you will make will determine whether or not you will stay together. I would highly suggest trying to make it work if you still love her, but if you're trying to make something work that might not have meant to be, then just let it go and be happy without a long distance relationship. It will be hard at first, but if you think about it, if she meant what she drunk dialed you about, than maybe it just wasn't something that was meant to be.
go find a local girl and forget about her.
well, id tell he to *beep* off personally... i don't think its working out if its gone to that extent, you could try calling her, talking to her to find out for sure but i think its probably over.. sorry man
I'm sorry, but you really need to think about this one. How strong is a relationship that prompts someone to ';get pissed when you put school over her sometimes'; and then ';she calls you drunk telling you she found someone else and they already had sex!';
She didn't obviously care that your education was important to you, and it was a TEMPORARY thing, where SHE could be PERMANENT. If she saw the big picture, and herself in it, she would have supported your goals. But she didn't.
If she slept with someone else before calling it quits with you properly, she was probably looking around for a bit. He might not have been the first. I'm sorry to say that, but it's most likely true.
If she's meant to be the one, she will be back and none of this will matter, but it SHOULD matter. Trust is hard to get back once it's broken. Only you know if you can trust her after this, and how strong your feelings are.
I wish you the best of luck.
Well, I'm in a LDR too, and we started only 350 miles away... and now we are 2,700 miles away. It's hard.
But really, our relationship is built on communication and trust. School is REALLY tough for me right now too... but we never lost that communication thing [[we still talk on the phone for hours every night]], and that's what I think happened to you guys.
But nonetheless, this is still CHEATING and it is evident that she wants to move on. I know this is painful, and I know it's hard to let go of the person you love.
But really, a LDR cannot happen without lots and lots of trust. And obviously now, that is gone.
This probably isn't what you want to hear, but it's what you need to hear. You need to break it off, and find someone [[local or not]] who will be empathetic to your school situation, who will communicate with you, and who will be faithful and honest to you unconditionally. Decide that you deserve better.
You should wait til a time when the two of you can (or want to) share the same county. Then if the passion is still there on both sides go for it!
Tell her bye! bye! bye! I also think that more communication would help...You should have calmly communicated with eachother about your disagreements/problems. Never leave the conversation angry or unresolved...;)
That's why I don't like long distance relationships... it is very hard. You guys spend less time together and creates more stress. If I were you, I would just stay friends with her because if it is meant to happen, it will happen. Just let things flow my friend.
Have you ever heard the saying, it is better to be alone and have pride and respect for yourself, then to be with someone not worthy of you? Well let me tell you this sweetie, as sad as this situation she really doesn't have the right priorities in mind. School is the most important aspect right now, girls come and go but what you must understand is that education and a good degree will get you far in life. She seems to me the person that wants to have fun, and lacks the ability to be responsible, if she could easily just get drunk and have sex, this is just the beginning after a year. Think of what she can do as the relationship develops and she realizes this is not what she wants. If i were you, I would be happy that you figured out what type of person she is NOW, before it got majorly serious. If I were you, I would just let her go, and keep your pride. If you really love her, you need to call her and ask her what she wants, when she is sober. If she apologizes and tries to make an effort with you, you could forgive her. However I think that she is the type of people who can't handle distance and who are looking for fun now, and don't think about tomorrow. She must really not be that attached to you, as sad as I am to say this. YOu can do much better, why do you want a girl that will treat you like this? Good luck hun!!
Well my advice is that it's good you love her, but I think that you should get over her because that is a red flag saying that she doesn't have commitment to your relationship. She says she moved on and you should get back at her and get a rebound.
ALSO
You can do this, call her and talk to her and apologize even if u didn't do anything wrong. Girls like it when they are right.
Tell her over and over that u love her and ur not over her.
I'm sure she'll get back with you...............
if she had the guts to go and cheat on you,that aint love bro.that jjust aint love.
You shouldn't make yourself crazy obsessing over it. You guys had something very special, but it didn't work out, and I know it's sad, but it's part of life. I would say it's best to move on, focus on school, spend free time with friends, and try to meet some new girls. I know that's hard to do, but time helps everything. Don't wait for her to come to her senses, because unfortunately, the odds are, she won't. You guys might be able to be friends, but that might take some time, so just spend some time enjoying being young and in college.
I would try to break it up with her at least for a little while. You both are in college. You need to go out there, figure out who you really are, concentrate on school and meet/ date other people to make sure you two are meant for each other. It sounds like she is frustrated with the situation and rather A. Really has moved on or B. was just trying to make you jealous. I would break it off for a while. It will give you both time to think if you do want to be together. If you guys are meant to be then it will happen. Good luck!
move on and long distance relationship usually doesnt really work..
well if she is the kind of person that goes off and gets drunk with other guys and if that is the kind of person u want to keep a relationship with then go for it but to me she doent seen like the kind of person you can trust where if she said she is working late she is not cheeting on you so if you like that kind of person go for it if she is the king of person u dont trust then dont talk to her
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