I just got laid off and I am working very hard on looking for another job. I have been out of a job for a few weeks now, so money is really tight. This is stressing both of us out. (Along with already losing my job). Together, we make over 100K a year. So, we were living like it, now, we are making about 1/2 that. So... money is an issue. We have cut back on everything we can. But it's still very stressful.
We have been having some problems the last couple of months regarding some issues. I have issues with him, he has issues with me. I'm not going to get into detail. We have discussed going to a counselor. Which we can't do now since money is so tight and they are pretty expensive.
I have a condition (from a serious concussion) where I have a hard time remembering everything (this is completely random by the way), and sometimes it feels like when I am thinking, I hit a wall so where I don't remember what I was trying to say (sometimes this happens mid-sentence), there are other symptoms too. He yells, and that causes a severe headache, which leads to these symptoms and makes it hard to discuss the problem, obviously.
Sometimes it gets really bad and I can't control what I say. Sometimes I just bullshit my way until I can figure out what I was talking about. I understand this is my problem and I need some help.
But instead of him being supportive here and telling me what I am doing, he starts to yell. Last night, it got so bad to where he almost left me.
Please, I really need some help. How can I communicate better? I need advice and help. I still believe, no matter what happens between us, that he is the one for me.
Oh, another problem, I have HUGE trust issues, and I trust him with my life. But there are things that I guess I don't communicate enough to him and he feels that I'm covered by a door. Feels that I'm shrouding myself and not telling him things. I'm hiding how I feel. I admit I do have some issues telling people how I feel, including him. That is something that I am vigorously working on. I wish I could see a counselor, but the financial situation we have right now, just isn't cutting it. We were also planning on going to see his family for Xmas this year and that's our first priority when it comes to money.
Please, someone, anyone. I really need advice here.
What can I work on? What can I do? Any tips, advice on communication?! Need relationship help. Kind of complicated. Need advice?
Keep looking for that job so you can get some therapy. Need relationship help. Kind of complicated. Need advice?
First of all, file unemployment asap so you have something coming in. As long as you didn't quit, you should be eligible. It won't make up the total money difference, but it will help.
Since you aren't married yet, chances are that in the meantime you can get whatever your state's free healthcare is and go see a doctor about the concussion issues.
If you guys don't get help soon, I don't see this relationship being healthy for you, mentally, emotionally and physically. He should be more supportive, but unless you can communicate with him to tell him that (try writing it down in a letter so you can track your thoughts) it's going to be very hard.
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