Any advice in helping a close friend get out of a toxic relationship?

The worst part is he does not realize he is in a toxic relationship. He has had moments where he has become suicidal because of this girl; she has cheated on him, hit him, openly flirts with his room mates and plays games with his head. And he tells me he forgives her!





He actually thinks this girl loves him but he tells me how she does not let him be intimate with her, then when he breaks up with her she suddenly wants to be with him.





It is killing me to see my friend self destruct and feeling like I can't stop it.





The other problem is he has apparently told her the things I said in confidence to him about how she treats him.





She is disrespectful, rude and manipulative.





He is the best friend I ever had and I know he feels the same way about me, but he refuses to listen to me on this subject, it even became an argument tonight.





How should I handle this? Should I let him rip him self apart and then help him recover or should I try to me more active in separating them?Any advice in helping a close friend get out of a toxic relationship?
This happens many times a day in today's society. Some women and men enjoy using another person for their gain. A relationship is formed for the purpose of having someone handy to use when needed.





You have made attempts to inform him of your thoughts on the subject and he does not listen. Let it go. When you are with him talk about anything but her. When he lands from cloud 9 it will hurt. It is called history and should be learned from to improve a person's life. This will also give you an opportunity to learn from the issue to improve your life.





Unfortunately some do not learn and proceed to the next user and on and on. Letting a temporary emotion run your life is a way of life for many people. It can be in any subject such as: religion, love, politics, or even cars. They believe they are correct in their thinking and nothing will change it - until a crash landing.





Do not stress out because of this just sit back and wait. When he lands you should be there to help him recover. Don't push let nature takes its course.Any advice in helping a close friend get out of a toxic relationship?
I think that these cases are, as mean as it sounds, ones that only the one affected by it can deal with. Maybe it's better if you stay silent for now. If you start to see things escalate more than they should perhaps you should then get involved, but it's always hard to tell what to do in this situtaion. Your friend needs to learn to let go of her and simply stand up to her. Now I respect men who don't hit women, but I respect no woman who beats her man and in my eyes, they're not a woman at that point. Maybe she wants him to be aggressive back because maybe that's what turns her on. She may like him, but maybe she's waiting for him to snap. Some women are like that. They feel they've made the man theirs and only theirs at that point. They care about nothing else but them and their passion. This is NOT love however.





Stay silent for now. If it grows more abusive, get him out by any means necissary.
I belive that it's part of your responsabilities as best friend to do something. If sometimes happens to him (you talked about suicide) you will never be able to forgive yourself for not having done anything.


Did you talk about it with his parents and his other friends? What do they think of it? Do you know what he would think of it if it was somebody else's problem? I mean if he doesn't feel you're talking about him but someone you would know maybe he will get less blind...?





I've had that kind of problem with my sister...Her boyfriend didn't treat her well...I couldn't but tell her again and again and it didn't change on anything, i made everything possible for her to see...and finally she understood by herself and broke up with him. I hope it will be the same for you friend!
It's really very simple. Be honest and concerned. Ask him the questions... Do you really think she loves you? Why? Would you flirt with someone else if you love someone? Would you be intimate with someone you love? Let him answer the questions so that he can become accountable for the answers and perhaps realize what she is doing. Maybe he just needs an eye opener. Good luck. Remember - honesty is ALWAYS the best policy no matter how hard it is. If nothing else, your conscience can be clear. Take care! ~G~
I would plan it so a girl openly flirts with him when his gf is looking his way, so that she will end it and he won't got no choice, then you can talk to him, take a more active roll in breaking them up, if they are really meant to be together they will be in the end, so try to get him out of it
Nice work. You have his girlfriend pegged. The term for her personality is psychopath. If you want to help do your research. Once you grasp the way their mind works you can offer better assistance. Couple things to keep in mind. Do not try and tell him anything. Nudge him along to his own understanding. His world is out of control right now and you can help him get back under control with subtle assistance. Do not and I repeat do not try to convince him his girlfriend in not normal. Let him come to this realization on his own. Only give advice when asked. Allow him to vent and perhaps one day he will hear himself talk. As much as you want him to see the light he will not until the exact time he should. Until then stay close and mind your own business the best you can. In the long run he will appreciate you more for this than a person who attempts to come between him and his illusion. His girlfriend has a mask of charm and he keeps holding out for this person who does not exist. In the meantime his life spirals out of control. You can beat her with patience and strategy. On a final note do not say bad things about her. Leave it alone. Stay positive. I do not mean positive in pushing him to stay with her. I mean positive in getting his life back.
Tell him hes not just loving her, he is loving every guy she sleeps with, espescially if he goes down on her.
Unfortunately it is best to say how you feel once and if they listen Hurray, but if they don't it is best to let it go. Some people like to be in dramatic relationships and it is not worth losing your friend over this.
Do this dude think she is the only woman out there? Girls come a dime a dozen but a real woman is rare. Hey I would tell his mother what that thing is doing to her son. But worse case scenario he is going to have to live and learn. He probably needs to get out more and meet more people like his suppose to be girlfriend is doing.





In the future keep you business to yourself because she might blow up on you in front of people with you confidential info you told your friend.
Let him learn the hard way, you told him how you feel and warned him of the the situation which you obviously know how she is and can judge her character, thats all you can do is warn him and wish him goodluck.
tell your friend your concerns and how much u are a real and supportive .and I wouldnt do anything til she asks for advice and your opinion. cause if u get involved before that it could push u friend away from you
Sounds like you have done alot.


You also have a life, and too many people including me, get involved in others buz, to avoid our own stuff. That may not be you, however, you have to set boundries and take care of yourself too. It is his choice and his lesson to learn if he wants to stay with her. I know it is hard because you fear possible losing a friend. Try going to codepedants anonymous or alanon and focus on you.


Many hugs to you and God Bless.