';*person* and i have been dating for almost a year and just recently she started to notice my flaws more often';
That is something that happens to everyone the longer that you are in a relationship, it isn't a problem it is just the fact that she is getting to know you better.
';she doesnt want me to change for her but if i dont change i may lose her and thus find myself in a paradox.';
Ask yourself about your flaws, what are they? Apparently they are serious enough where you think that you are going to lose her if you don't change some of them. Which ones? Which do you think are the most serious? Work on those ones.
';she doesn't want me to change for her';
That can mean one of two things.
1.) That she likes you for who you are and your flaws are not a big enough concern for her to worry about them. If they were she would ask you to change in order to help out your relationship.
2.) She might think that you won't be able to change them enough for her. But this is something that if it is the case then what you need to do is have a sit-down with her and only talk about your ';flaws'; and what YOU would like to do about them. You said that if you don't change some of them then you stand the risk of losing her. I think that you need to tell her that. You also need to tell her how much you love her and that you want things to work out and that you need some of her help to have things work out. When you sit down with her don't her that you want to change just to stay with her, tell her that you see this as a problem with yourself and that you want to change things to make yourself a better person. (because if I read between the lines correctly then that is what you are saying anyways, right?)
This should keep things on an even keel more or less.I am haveing relationship problems, can i get some advice?
Don't change who you are, but if there are things you can change in regard to how you treat her, then look at those things and see if they need changed or not. If she is noticing your flaws it's either because she has intimacy issues and not sure if she wants to get close, so she's sabotaging the relationship, or she there is something she is unhappy about in regard to how she feels when she is with you - if it's something about how you act with her, then look at it, but if it's something that has nothing to do with her, then you have to look at what else is going on that could be upsetting her.
if she don't like you for you then its not worth it. you need to be with someone that likes you for you, not for someone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment