Advice: Trying to work out a relationship that's on the rocks. ( Ladies please Help)?

Tonight, I will be taking my girlfriend to dinner at Ritz-Carlton in Half Moon Bay. Our relationship has been on the rocks for the past 2 months because of my irrational tendencies such as emotional violent out breaks. Basically name calling and also behavioral problems like breaking things when I am upset.





I do know that I have MAJOR problems and seeking help for this problem. I basically grew under a father who is physically violent and abusive towards me. But, now I am paying the price from the way that my father has raised me.





My girlfriend is very disgusted and hurt with me but still picks up my calls and replies to my text messages. I have never cheated on her and never lied. But, this problem is just over bearing at this point for both of us.





I am trying to win her back before I completely lose her. She knows I am trying my best. But my best (I feel) is not good enough.





I need advice pleaseAdvice: Trying to work out a relationship that's on the rocks. ( Ladies please Help)?
Ok... First don't worry about dinner being too boring. Serious and boring may be just what is in order right at the moment.





She obviously cares for you, or she would not still be calling.





I think you are at a point in your life where you are poised for a change. You acknowledge that you have a problem and you want to fix the problem. It will be hard, but as long as you are aware of how you are acting and tell yourself to calm down and behave the way that you want to, instead of behaving the way you have in the past.





You need to explain to her, that you think your actions are inappropriate and wrong. Tell her, that with or without her, you intent to make a change in yourself. Tell her that at the very least, that past history between you two has taught you how your behavior can cost you something so dear to you as your relationship. Explain to her that you are sincere, however that this will be a tough road, with old habits to break. Explain to her how important she is to you and that you would like her to help you on your journey to your improved self.





All you can do is be humble in light of your past actions. Take ownership and responsibility for your actions.





If she decides to remain in your life, remember how lucky you are for the second chance and work that much harder to be the person that you want to be.





Changing yourself is a tough road, and a lifelong commitment. You will need to tell yourself to calm down and behave the way you know you should for the rest of your life. The good news is, telling yourself to calm down, it's no big deal, will become second nature.





Good luck, and I congratulate you on realizing your own shortcomings and your willingness to work on them.Advice: Trying to work out a relationship that's on the rocks. ( Ladies please Help)?
You certainly have your plate full. The reason she is still with you is because she loves you. Your anger is defiantly a problem that could eventually cost you your relationship with this girl. To keep her you have to show her that you have changed. I can help you make this transformation on yahoo messenger if you'd like. What you are asking cannot be solved in a a simple answer. I've helped lots of guys just like you with issues just like yours. I'm offering a free session to new members. Trust me, I've been where you have and back.


Add me David_Sexton_PhD. I can Help.











David Sexton., Relationships Expert/Author
yeah that sounds good and all..but when a woman has had enough then there is nothing you can do..obviously she cares alot for you thats why she is still around..just be the best you take your time..apprecaite her more please also try your best to workon your problems
See, going out to dinner and wining and dining is nice, but after its all done and over with the problem is STILL going to be there. The best thing in the world that you can do for her to show her that you are sincere about changing is to get into counseling and also take some anger management classes.


take her out to dinner and tell her I love you so much and this is what i am willing to do to make sure that this works and that I am able to move forward.





its a hard habit to break too. Trust me I know, and it takes a lot of counseling and a serious commitment to not continuing the cycle of abuse. and it takes TIME.


you need to take care of you and love YOU before you can do that for anyone else.
See http://www.howtodealwithabreakup.com
The best thing you can do is to treat her very very well and never ever ever be cruel to her again. She still talks to you because she has a heart. You've found a treasure in a world full of trash. Please recognize that and treat her well.
You should look for medical/counseling help. Include your g/f so she understands the process and show your committed to her and changing your behavior.





Good Luck
The Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay is an amazing spot. There is a great walking path along the water that leads down to the beach... I have spent some good time down there reflecting with just me and the waves... How about keeping dinner a little light and then taking a walk and getting to some of the tough topics. Let her know you care and want to know how the relationship is affecting her. Ask her what she needs to get out of the relationship and make sure you can provide those things. If you can't, than maybe it's time to take a big step back until you can.





Good luck!
wow..maybe you should be in traeting..you are really scaring me ';cerealkiller';...the other day you said you went to someone's home and beat them up..Now this....





seriously..you need help before you do something that you can not take back..Good luck on your dinner
I had an abusive stepmother (hitting, slapping, pinching, verbal abuse on a daily basis) that I had to live with after my mother died when I was 3. She had everyone convinced that I was a terrible person and they believed her.





I DID NOT grow up to be abusive. I grew up scared of my own shadow and distrustful of others. None of my relationships worked out until I was ready to admit that I needed counseling to put the demons to rest that I was not responsible for my stepmother's actions.





You need to get out of your relationship and start working on yourself. Learn to respect and love yourself first. Because you can't be healthy for someone else until you are healthy for yourself.





I did and it was only through accepting myself was I truly able to accept others.





And you know what? When you're girlfriend sees that you are ready to work on yourself and your issues, she may even stick around to be there for you.





Good Luck!
I have to TOTALLY agree with Mandi85. Just recently I went throught the same thing with my partner (I was the abusive one). Since then we have started going to church and I have made a conscious effort to change my ways. I finally did win her back, but it has taken a lot of work on my part to prove myself to her. It will never end b/c I have to constantly keep myself in check and constantly work at our relationship. Just don't rush into anything and don't expect things to change over night. Good luck!