I am a professional when it comes to giving advice, I just started this yahoo though but I've done this before. You can ask me questions and/or email me if it's a secret. I keep everything confidential. =)
Be free to ask me anything.I just started and I am a professional at advice. Ask me anything from friends to relationships?
Welcome! I'm new myself. But what you do is, you go to the listing on the left and pick the topics you want to answer and you click on it. There you will find all sorts of questions that you can click on to answer. The more you answer, the more points you will get. I still don't know what the heck those points are for, but it sure feels good to be able to help somebody with a question. So Click away!I just started and I am a professional at advice. Ask me anything from friends to relationships?
How long before I feel normal again after my Mother just died on Aug. 1? Tough one huh? So, if your a joker, then I just asked something you really didn't want to see, and if not, you really can't answer because everyone deals differently.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Any advice on this matter at hand i dont know how long i can deal with relationship!?
im in a long distance relationship and its only 2 hours away im 20 hes 26 we r going on a year on christmas. everything went well until he had a 2nd job in June , he doesnt call or txt me i always txt and call and recieve no reply/answer and this will go on for a weeks at a time,,,,, i feel he uses that im busy or tired everytime we talk but our conversations dnt even last for 15 mins but wen i go on myspace hes message other girls, calls them babe, boo etc..and i dnt know what to do??Any advice on this matter at hand i dont know how long i can deal with relationship!?
You cannot force him to turn on you?
ur relationship is not legal and hence not created any legal right for protection
anyway I try to help u
if ur relationship was like flirts leave it
if any bodily relationship between you, definitely he would have said we are husband and wife so
Better take a plea you both married and upon which start actions under DV Act to clutch him with you for lifetimeAny advice on this matter at hand i dont know how long i can deal with relationship!?
It sounds like, in his mind, it's already over between you two. He pulled the fade away because he didn't have the guts to break up with you in person or even over the phone. Chances are he met some new girls at his new job and he is spending time with them. It sucks when guys do this kind of thing but at least you know now what he's really like. He did you a favor. Move on.
If you honestly can't answer this yourself.. Then you deserve to be in this relationship.
The guy has become distant.
Sounds to me like he's no longer interested in you and has moved on but hasn't got the balls to tell you.
If I were you. I'd go visit him and see whats going on at home.
Then decide wether or not you can continue to be in this LONG distant relationship..
Forget him! This relationship is not going anywhere. Don't you know anyone in your neighborhood? Join some group or organization and try to meet some men close by. Check out my ';source'; and find out what goes into successful relationships.
Answer is very simple ,this is the high time to leave him alone and forget him.Do not call or txt him he is a cheater.Find someone else and be happy.
It depends on how much you like this guy. You need to weigh up the pros and cons, but from the sound of it he doesn't seemed that bothered with you.Maybe it would be best if you moved on.
Take care
doesnt sound like you are in any kind of a relationship. You need to learn to take a hint. Dont contact him and move on. If someone doesnt respond to you it means they DONT want to talk to you.
I don't see how you're still considering this any type of relationship. No communication, no interaction, no trust - no relationship.
KICK HIM TO THE CURB. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP USUALLY DONT WORK. IF CANT TALK TO YOU THEN HE SHOULD BE ON MYSPACE. POINT BLANK PERIOD
Sounds like you're the only one having a relationship. Scrap this one and start fresh. You deserve better.
ms golden come on miss lady hes done pretty much! move on babez dont chase after someone who obviously doesnt want you because someone out here in this world does! hes not that one good luck!
Well I think many have you the answer to your question. I think you know the answer yourself too, it's only that you are not ready to accept it still. Dear think about it, giving any more time to this relationship will only harm you and no one else. If a person truly loves you he would have been caring for you and would have not behaved like he is doing now. He has grown over this relationship, its time for you to move on. At least give it time, if he really loves you he'll come back to you. If he doesn't, its no use being in a relationship that gives you nothing back, not even love. Think about it!!!!
You cannot force him to turn on you?
ur relationship is not legal and hence not created any legal right for protection
anyway I try to help u
if ur relationship was like flirts leave it
if any bodily relationship between you, definitely he would have said we are husband and wife so
Better take a plea you both married and upon which start actions under DV Act to clutch him with you for lifetimeAny advice on this matter at hand i dont know how long i can deal with relationship!?
It sounds like, in his mind, it's already over between you two. He pulled the fade away because he didn't have the guts to break up with you in person or even over the phone. Chances are he met some new girls at his new job and he is spending time with them. It sucks when guys do this kind of thing but at least you know now what he's really like. He did you a favor. Move on.
If you honestly can't answer this yourself.. Then you deserve to be in this relationship.
The guy has become distant.
Sounds to me like he's no longer interested in you and has moved on but hasn't got the balls to tell you.
If I were you. I'd go visit him and see whats going on at home.
Then decide wether or not you can continue to be in this LONG distant relationship..
Forget him! This relationship is not going anywhere. Don't you know anyone in your neighborhood? Join some group or organization and try to meet some men close by. Check out my ';source'; and find out what goes into successful relationships.
Answer is very simple ,this is the high time to leave him alone and forget him.Do not call or txt him he is a cheater.Find someone else and be happy.
It depends on how much you like this guy. You need to weigh up the pros and cons, but from the sound of it he doesn't seemed that bothered with you.Maybe it would be best if you moved on.
Take care
doesnt sound like you are in any kind of a relationship. You need to learn to take a hint. Dont contact him and move on. If someone doesnt respond to you it means they DONT want to talk to you.
I don't see how you're still considering this any type of relationship. No communication, no interaction, no trust - no relationship.
KICK HIM TO THE CURB. LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP USUALLY DONT WORK. IF CANT TALK TO YOU THEN HE SHOULD BE ON MYSPACE. POINT BLANK PERIOD
Sounds like you're the only one having a relationship. Scrap this one and start fresh. You deserve better.
ms golden come on miss lady hes done pretty much! move on babez dont chase after someone who obviously doesnt want you because someone out here in this world does! hes not that one good luck!
Well I think many have you the answer to your question. I think you know the answer yourself too, it's only that you are not ready to accept it still. Dear think about it, giving any more time to this relationship will only harm you and no one else. If a person truly loves you he would have been caring for you and would have not behaved like he is doing now. He has grown over this relationship, its time for you to move on. At least give it time, if he really loves you he'll come back to you. If he doesn't, its no use being in a relationship that gives you nothing back, not even love. Think about it!!!!
Need advice...Married 5yrs and I want to feel like Im in a relationship?
Hi. Ive been with my husband for 7years and married for over 5. We have 2 kids and Im pregnant. I love him and I dont believe in divorce but I want to be happy and feel like Im in a relationship. We have sex (obviously) but no kissing, cuddling, anything really. It does not feel like we are together at all. We dont go out, we have but it feels like we are friends and nothing more. We dont hold hands or talk and I feel very lonely and invisable. Ive told him how I feel and he ignores it and doesnt even try. Ive tried kissing him or cuddling and he acts like he is uncomfortable and moves away. I know he isnt cheating b/c he just started his new job and he works with my moms BF and when he isnt working he is home playing video games (he comes home and plays until 4am then sleeps until an hour b4 he has to work). I hate doing everything myself and feeling like a single parent and then going to bed alone. He dosnt do anything around the house or with the kids. I keep everything done and make sure he eats before and after work and the only time he acknowledges me is when he is hungry/horny/ or needs something. I dont like feeling like he is just another one of my kids. Ive tried getting dressed in lingerie and all that and he didnt even notice and Ive run out of idea's. Ive even filed for a divorve knowing I wouldnt go through with it just to see if he really didnt want to be with me and was ok with it. He got very upset and told me how much he loved me and everything and begged me to stay but never changed. If anyone has any advice please share. Thanks.Need advice...Married 5yrs and I want to feel like Im in a relationship?
Sorry to say but you need to prove to him you mean what you say when you tell him you are not happy and want out kick him out and not let him back in until he changes if he does something like seeing other women while you are separated instead of working on himself then you have lost nothing if he wants to stay married to you because he loves you and not just for the kids and convenience he will change.
Btw i hope it works out you sound like a really good woman who loves her husband and family.Need advice...Married 5yrs and I want to feel like Im in a relationship?
Sweetie if he won't change with you serving him papers he just WILL not change. It might be the confort zone he is use to and that is why he doesn't want you to leave. You deserve to be loved the way you want. I would go through with it.
Every night till 4am could be alot of the problem . Get rid of the games and things should get better over time . I would rahter be playing games in the bedroom .
You seem stuck in a routine and you need to break that! You just need the spice back and some time off. A second honeymoon to re-connect with each other.
It seems to me like he may be depressed... You should try to get him to a therapist even though men are so against that... but try to sneak it in he might need antidepressants.
stop doing everything for him - maybe then he'll notice!!!
Time goes on but people never change.
your husband seriously only gets one hour of sleep per night??
Damn, i'd start there... sounds like he only loves video games i'm sorry to say... he needs to grow up a bit.
He said he was going to change but hasn't so I guess he didn't meant it if hes back to his old ways. I would be tired of doing things by myself and I would want to move out if I were you because lets face it you do everything by yourself anyways hes just kind of there. I know you're pregnant and have kids together but that doesn't mean you have to stay and be miserable. Usually I would say give him another chance but it sounds as though hes had his chance and just doesn't care. good luck to you.
Get rid of the games. Pack up the kids and take them to your mothers for a night and the two of you go out for yourselves. No buddies! Even if for a weekend. Let him know in a very serious way that you feel you are in a relationship and not a marriage. Ask him where he sees your marriage 10 years down the road.
Wow. You sound like an amazing women. Look...my wife does not reach for my hand...does not touch me or hold me...does not kiss me on her own. It sucks. But that is the way she is. I know she loves me. I hold her hand...touch her...initiate in the br...kiss her...everything. Its funny...her excuse is that the ';man'; should be the one starting all of this...I do...and she really does not change. We have a 14 year old daughter from her past relationship, a 3 year old son together and a baby due any day now...I smother them all will kisses and I know that daughter is not used to the affection...I think it depends on how you were brought up...I understand that this comes from my mother and her father (grand father that I never met) who was also very openly affectionate.
it sounds like hes not happy it could be the 7 year Itch.that happen to me with my first husband i dated him 5 years before we got married and after that 7th year %26amp; 4 kid ago i got the same thing done that your husband is doing to you. we both agreed to get a divorce,some people are smart enough to know when it's over,and for the most part it worked out for both of us i have been married to my second husband for over 17 years now and my ex i also remarried.so ask your self this(how smart are you?) good luck hon it's not easy.
Try telling him specifically what you need. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't sit him down for a long discussion about what's wrong with your relationship. Simply say, ';hey honey, can I cuddle with you on the couch while we watch this movie?'; Or ';Will you hold my hand?'; and so on and so forth.
If he actually says ';no'; to you consistently whenever you ask him for some sort of specific affection, then either he's not in love with you anymore or there's something about you that he simply detests. Either way, he's your husband for life so you both need to learn how to deal with each other's shortcomings.
Good luck!
You should be happily I mean isn't the goal too have your husband as your good friend?
My husband is my good friend, why do you need the validation of feeling as though you two are in a relationship? You obviously are if you have kids and are married,
I know how you feel though because I tend to feel that way too.
Sometimes we will go out and I will feel like we are not together.
But I get over it because I know that he is my man and that's the end of story.
You should try to spend a little more quality time together but remember between kids, work and a marriage things and time gets tight.
Just be grateful that you have a good man that loves you and his family.
I hear how you are feeling, but wonder was he like this before you married him? Because what you saw is what you got. I would talk to him again and this time in front of a relationship therapist. He needs to meet you half way at least. Whatever, you do don't go out and have an affair because you feel lonely. Sounds like the man loves you but needs to to learn some social and family skills. A lot of people do not learn this when they are growing up. His parent may be the exact way he is and he thinks he is acting ';normal'; Good Luck, your marriage is worth working on, but you both have to work hard.
ouch!
i think you seriously need to go to marriage counselling OR sit down and have a talk with your husband. tell him how he is making you feel. if things don't change maybe try a 'trial' seperation and see if that helps at all.
i got married last august and my hubby got 'deathly' ill right after that. we haven't had much of a romantic married life together. i've told him before that i feel like we're room mates and not husband/wife. i told him he needs to practice showing intamcy even though we can't have sex..
we try and take our showers together, we make sure to cuddle when watching tv (which he does LOTS), we make sure to kiss eachother good night and good morning...
stop doing stuff for him, leave him at home with the kids while you eat out for a few days or eat at your moms. And take the wallet, so he cant order out. Never mind dont do that, that will end up with you both spending more money. Give him some chores, ask him to help you in the kitchen, Don't nag treat him with respect. Ask him why he is avoiding you and blocking you out of his mind. Playing video games that long is avoidance of something.He may be trying to avoid doing something outside the home. Just talk with him, ask him to take you out to dinner than go to the park and walk around just talk. you could take the kids to your parents for a few days dont cook, have sex or clean and see how long it takes him to put the video games down. And don't get mad about it just wait until you get his attention.than explain to him how you feel and how you feel about the fact that he doesnt change or try. Tell him you can't live like this any longer. Dont threaten him or anything. Ask him like you would ask him to pass the sugar, does he want to be married? does he want to be happy? Right now your not happy and the constant video game playing tells you something is on his mind, what is it? Is it another woman? Another life, a different family? When do you and him start interacting with another, the way things are going you two wont make it another five years, tell him that. See what he says. Tell him your talking to him now before you get really pissed off and fed up cause by the time you pack your bags and pack up the kids it will be too late and it wont be much he can really do or so. Ask him is that what he wants? Your not threatening him but its really inevitable that things will progress in that fashion.
MARRIAGE COUNSELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recommend a male counselor so your husband doesn't feel ';attacked';. The great thing about counseling is there is a 3rd party to sort of ';interpret'; what you are saying to each other. If your husband says he doesn't want a divorce, he will probably agree to go if it will save your marriage.
What you have described is a half-marriage, and it is very reasonable for you to expect more. A counselor can help you determine what is reasonable for each of you to expect from the other. For instance, the excessive ';hiding'; in the video games can be addressed.
Have you ever asked your husband if he is depressed?
Your situation isn't hopeless, but you need to do something proactive to see change.
it sounds like you are still in love and he isnt that into it. he only ';loves you when he is horny or hungry but that is treating you like a maid and a sex toy. take the kids with you to mom's and stay for a while. It will show you that you can get on without him.
fill out that divorce paper and take it to court. get that lazy, video game obsessed jerk out of your house and out of your life. find a man who really cares about you and your feelings and who listens to you.
you are better than him
I have been exactly where you are now. It led to my husband cheating on me and him coming forth and telling me so. What I recommend is having a serious conversation with him. Try to make him understand, in a calm fasion, how you feel and what you would like him to do to make things better. I found with my husband, part of him not listening was that I was always angry when I spoke to him. Good Luck.
If you've done all of this and he has done nothing then you've really done your part... You can't do everything and he do nothing, he has to do his part too. I've been there, done that and divorced him and now I am happier than ever. Try talking to him again and let him know that you've done everything you can do but he has to try too... You can't keep doing everything without him contributing to your family and emotional needs too. Marriage is a partnership and with that there has to be two contributing factors, not just one.nivea cream
Sorry to say but you need to prove to him you mean what you say when you tell him you are not happy and want out kick him out and not let him back in until he changes if he does something like seeing other women while you are separated instead of working on himself then you have lost nothing if he wants to stay married to you because he loves you and not just for the kids and convenience he will change.
Btw i hope it works out you sound like a really good woman who loves her husband and family.Need advice...Married 5yrs and I want to feel like Im in a relationship?
Sweetie if he won't change with you serving him papers he just WILL not change. It might be the confort zone he is use to and that is why he doesn't want you to leave. You deserve to be loved the way you want. I would go through with it.
Every night till 4am could be alot of the problem . Get rid of the games and things should get better over time . I would rahter be playing games in the bedroom .
You seem stuck in a routine and you need to break that! You just need the spice back and some time off. A second honeymoon to re-connect with each other.
It seems to me like he may be depressed... You should try to get him to a therapist even though men are so against that... but try to sneak it in he might need antidepressants.
stop doing everything for him - maybe then he'll notice!!!
Time goes on but people never change.
your husband seriously only gets one hour of sleep per night??
Damn, i'd start there... sounds like he only loves video games i'm sorry to say... he needs to grow up a bit.
He said he was going to change but hasn't so I guess he didn't meant it if hes back to his old ways. I would be tired of doing things by myself and I would want to move out if I were you because lets face it you do everything by yourself anyways hes just kind of there. I know you're pregnant and have kids together but that doesn't mean you have to stay and be miserable. Usually I would say give him another chance but it sounds as though hes had his chance and just doesn't care. good luck to you.
Get rid of the games. Pack up the kids and take them to your mothers for a night and the two of you go out for yourselves. No buddies! Even if for a weekend. Let him know in a very serious way that you feel you are in a relationship and not a marriage. Ask him where he sees your marriage 10 years down the road.
Wow. You sound like an amazing women. Look...my wife does not reach for my hand...does not touch me or hold me...does not kiss me on her own. It sucks. But that is the way she is. I know she loves me. I hold her hand...touch her...initiate in the br...kiss her...everything. Its funny...her excuse is that the ';man'; should be the one starting all of this...I do...and she really does not change. We have a 14 year old daughter from her past relationship, a 3 year old son together and a baby due any day now...I smother them all will kisses and I know that daughter is not used to the affection...I think it depends on how you were brought up...I understand that this comes from my mother and her father (grand father that I never met) who was also very openly affectionate.
it sounds like hes not happy it could be the 7 year Itch.that happen to me with my first husband i dated him 5 years before we got married and after that 7th year %26amp; 4 kid ago i got the same thing done that your husband is doing to you. we both agreed to get a divorce,some people are smart enough to know when it's over,and for the most part it worked out for both of us i have been married to my second husband for over 17 years now and my ex i also remarried.so ask your self this(how smart are you?) good luck hon it's not easy.
Try telling him specifically what you need. Don't make a big deal out of it, don't sit him down for a long discussion about what's wrong with your relationship. Simply say, ';hey honey, can I cuddle with you on the couch while we watch this movie?'; Or ';Will you hold my hand?'; and so on and so forth.
If he actually says ';no'; to you consistently whenever you ask him for some sort of specific affection, then either he's not in love with you anymore or there's something about you that he simply detests. Either way, he's your husband for life so you both need to learn how to deal with each other's shortcomings.
Good luck!
You should be happily I mean isn't the goal too have your husband as your good friend?
My husband is my good friend, why do you need the validation of feeling as though you two are in a relationship? You obviously are if you have kids and are married,
I know how you feel though because I tend to feel that way too.
Sometimes we will go out and I will feel like we are not together.
But I get over it because I know that he is my man and that's the end of story.
You should try to spend a little more quality time together but remember between kids, work and a marriage things and time gets tight.
Just be grateful that you have a good man that loves you and his family.
I hear how you are feeling, but wonder was he like this before you married him? Because what you saw is what you got. I would talk to him again and this time in front of a relationship therapist. He needs to meet you half way at least. Whatever, you do don't go out and have an affair because you feel lonely. Sounds like the man loves you but needs to to learn some social and family skills. A lot of people do not learn this when they are growing up. His parent may be the exact way he is and he thinks he is acting ';normal'; Good Luck, your marriage is worth working on, but you both have to work hard.
ouch!
i think you seriously need to go to marriage counselling OR sit down and have a talk with your husband. tell him how he is making you feel. if things don't change maybe try a 'trial' seperation and see if that helps at all.
i got married last august and my hubby got 'deathly' ill right after that. we haven't had much of a romantic married life together. i've told him before that i feel like we're room mates and not husband/wife. i told him he needs to practice showing intamcy even though we can't have sex..
we try and take our showers together, we make sure to cuddle when watching tv (which he does LOTS), we make sure to kiss eachother good night and good morning...
stop doing stuff for him, leave him at home with the kids while you eat out for a few days or eat at your moms. And take the wallet, so he cant order out. Never mind dont do that, that will end up with you both spending more money. Give him some chores, ask him to help you in the kitchen, Don't nag treat him with respect. Ask him why he is avoiding you and blocking you out of his mind. Playing video games that long is avoidance of something.He may be trying to avoid doing something outside the home. Just talk with him, ask him to take you out to dinner than go to the park and walk around just talk. you could take the kids to your parents for a few days dont cook, have sex or clean and see how long it takes him to put the video games down. And don't get mad about it just wait until you get his attention.than explain to him how you feel and how you feel about the fact that he doesnt change or try. Tell him you can't live like this any longer. Dont threaten him or anything. Ask him like you would ask him to pass the sugar, does he want to be married? does he want to be happy? Right now your not happy and the constant video game playing tells you something is on his mind, what is it? Is it another woman? Another life, a different family? When do you and him start interacting with another, the way things are going you two wont make it another five years, tell him that. See what he says. Tell him your talking to him now before you get really pissed off and fed up cause by the time you pack your bags and pack up the kids it will be too late and it wont be much he can really do or so. Ask him is that what he wants? Your not threatening him but its really inevitable that things will progress in that fashion.
MARRIAGE COUNSELING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recommend a male counselor so your husband doesn't feel ';attacked';. The great thing about counseling is there is a 3rd party to sort of ';interpret'; what you are saying to each other. If your husband says he doesn't want a divorce, he will probably agree to go if it will save your marriage.
What you have described is a half-marriage, and it is very reasonable for you to expect more. A counselor can help you determine what is reasonable for each of you to expect from the other. For instance, the excessive ';hiding'; in the video games can be addressed.
Have you ever asked your husband if he is depressed?
Your situation isn't hopeless, but you need to do something proactive to see change.
it sounds like you are still in love and he isnt that into it. he only ';loves you when he is horny or hungry but that is treating you like a maid and a sex toy. take the kids with you to mom's and stay for a while. It will show you that you can get on without him.
fill out that divorce paper and take it to court. get that lazy, video game obsessed jerk out of your house and out of your life. find a man who really cares about you and your feelings and who listens to you.
you are better than him
I have been exactly where you are now. It led to my husband cheating on me and him coming forth and telling me so. What I recommend is having a serious conversation with him. Try to make him understand, in a calm fasion, how you feel and what you would like him to do to make things better. I found with my husband, part of him not listening was that I was always angry when I spoke to him. Good Luck.
If you've done all of this and he has done nothing then you've really done your part... You can't do everything and he do nothing, he has to do his part too. I've been there, done that and divorced him and now I am happier than ever. Try talking to him again and let him know that you've done everything you can do but he has to try too... You can't keep doing everything without him contributing to your family and emotional needs too. Marriage is a partnership and with that there has to be two contributing factors, not just one.
Guy bestfriend is having a relationship with a married man with 2 kids. what will i advice him?
my guy bestfriend recently left and work for a cruise liner. he will be away for quite sometime and before he left, he made sure that the guy left his family and stayed with my bestfriend's parents, because he has nowhere to go and for my bestfriend to be also sure that while he's away, the married guy won't reconcile with his wife. The wife discovered this affair and the husband left their home. Now, what hurt me most was that, I know how it is to have a broken family and my bestfriend doesn't any have regards to the kids. One time, he didn't even let the married guy visit his kid that's confined in the hospital. My bestfriend hid all the resources so the married guy can't go. He also sent very hurtful messages to the wife and he even want to call the kids not to expect their father to go home anytime soon because he won't. Now, the married guy really want to get out in the relationship but my bestfriend threatened him and blackmailed him (btw, the married guy is not ';out';). Now that my bestfriend is away, he asked me to watch over the married guy who does nothing in their home with my bestfriend's parents. And I can see the pain or guilt in his eyes, could be he misses his family and he's so far away from his home. My bestfriend's parent's house is so very far from the married guy's house and it will take him many hours of travel and i knew that he doesn't have any money. I want to advice my bestfriend. WHAT WILL I SAY TO HIM?Guy bestfriend is having a relationship with a married man with 2 kids. what will i advice him?
Ask him how he'd like it if the other guy treated him the same way.... and to just let the dang guy go visit his kids....
Ask him how he'd like it if the other guy treated him the same way.... and to just let the dang guy go visit his kids....
Make/break relationship !! ..SERIOUS HELP needed,sorry for the long-est question :( ..but SINCERE ADVICE, ASAP
Hi friends, need your help.
Serious help needed!
I am 21 years old, and was dating a 24 year old guy. We both are from Delhi (India), and have same religion (Sikh). We both started dating in September’07. Things were great till December’07; we both loved each other, deeply. We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.
But then suddenly, around in December’07 I could feel that he had started avoiding me a little. He started avoiding my messages, would reply after three messages that I would send, would not take all my calls, would take the third or the fourth call, and would hung up saying, he’s been real busy with work. Initially I thought he might have been busy, but then later, it got on my nerves.
Then on my constant asking and pestering him, he told me that he wants to end all of this, he said he is not comfortable being in this relationship. I was totally moved by this saying. And then later, in a about a week’s time, when I kept on asking him, what made him take this decision; he told me that he could never marry me.
His family is totally anti-love marriage (reason being, one of his first cousin’s was recently murdered by his wife after six months of their love marriage), so because of this, the family is in a state of shock and would never accept love marriage again. He said he could feel, that both of us have been getting serious in this relationship, day by day, but he sees no future to it. So, to avoid hurting me in the end, he wanted to call it off.
He said he respects me, and hence did not wish to hurt me further, or fake anything and go around and date for the short run. He was sure, that he can not give me any commitment. Even tough he loved me to bitts, but going against his family for him, was something not possible. So, ending terms was the only way out. But then, he again left the situation on me, saying that though he wants to be with me, because he loves me, but he can’t give me commitment, so if I still want to continue with him, he is all ready. I though a little that time, and than concluded, that we can try, as it is, he is not getting married before 2010, so I thought, that things might change by then.
So, we got back to normal terms that time. Though, being normal was not all normal that time. He was usually upset and not comfortable. He always had a fear in mind, that we can never get married, and obviously we were forever moving on to a serious platform. So he was usually hesitant about it. But things were moving on like this, a little slow, but kind of okay-ish.
Then suddenly, one day something struck me, and I just messaged him saying, that did he always loved me and met me for lust! I asked him, if he was always lusting for me. And after a few hours, he simply replied back saying “yes, it was just that” ! I got totally pissed with it. I was dumbstruck. I could not believe it, and I replied back with a very sad and an ugly looking message. I broke terms with him, n abused him to the heights, (as in- abused in the message), I did not talk to him in person. But he did not say anything in return. He did not even try to give me any clarification, and nor did he abuse me back. He took it, as I said.
And then two days later, I just realized, that he might have accepted my doubt, because, that I ways I would break all terms with him and feel a little better, rather than he breaking terms with me. Because no guy on the face of earth would ever accept that he was only lusting at the girl, and secondly so easily. He made no move to prove himself right at that moment. I felt, probably I was wrong. Then to see how things were with me, he asked his best friend to give me a call and find out, (though, he himself did not make a call), and later, in 2-3 days, we got back to normal talking terms.
Yet again, we were again, but I knew he wasn’t so comfortable with the situations. He always remained upset. I too was way too upset. So, last week, I messaged him saying, that I leave everything on you today. I said, if you want to continue, let’s start all over again, but if you want to end terms so it be. I said I trust you and your decisions and whatever you say today would be my command. He replied back saying, that he respects me and my feelings, but as a matter of fact, he cannot give me long term commitment, he cannot go against his family. He said, if I still want to continue, he is still ready for it. Then I replied him back saying, that being with him is a gamble for me, and not for him, but I am ready to play this gamble all my life. I said I can try and wait all my life for your commitment because I know he loves me, but I said, you have to play it fair. I said, you cannot feel un-comfortable all the time, and cannot stay in the hiding. I said, it’s okay if u don’t give me commitment but at least don’t run away from it. I said, I can play the gamble, but if u think u can play it fair, then tell me. He then replied back saying, that lets leave it den. He cannot continue that ways, it was really awesome being with you and be in touch... And all that!
I cried and weeped after this, but then realized, this was probably our destiny. And I decided to not try to get in touch with him ever again. His relationship status on orkut suddenly changed to committed the immediate day after this. Previously, I also had deleted him from my orkut account (when that lusting issue happened), but , after all this I sent him a friends request again, saying that I am adding you only to retain an old friend, add me u wish to. For five days, neither did he add me or reject my approval. Just yesterday after five days, he rejected my friend’s approval (I know, he got online on orkut at least 25 times before that, I could see him replying other people). In the meanwhile, day before yesterday, he again made his best friend call me up, just to check out things at my end (of-course, the best friend did not say that he’s asked him to call, but I could make that out). Because, this guy never calls me otherwise, its always, when we fight or end up, this guy gives me a call just to check out things.
And then, yesterday in the evening, my boyfriend messaged me and asked me if I could catch him up, (I had just not kept in touch with him since Friday, I was totally out of touch, because he called me up on Friday and he was feeling really low that time, he said n asked me why do I send him such sarcastic messages, he said he feels really bad about them, so I promised him that time, that I would never do that ever again. So, I did not). So after his message, I said I could meet him up in half an hour’s time, so then later he said no, he doesn’t have time to wait. (He was actually outside my work-place and thought I would be there too, but I was at home, which he wasn’t aware of). Anyhow, we did not meet up.
Now, I don’t know what to do. I am in a state of dilemma. Don’t know, if I should let go him, or get in touch with him, and try to get him back. I know he loves me; he is doing all this because he loves me, but I don’t know what to do. I know he is not committed; he changed his status just to convey that message to me, so that I can abuse him and forget him. If he is not interested in me anymore, why did he make his friend call me up, to check out, how am I doing? Why did he message me yesterday? Or was he just playing around when he messaged? If he had to not accept my friends request on orkut, what took him five days to decide? He could have done it on the first day also. If he got committed immediately the next day of we calling it off, when I messaged him the first time, he could have told me that time also, that he has someone else, why did he give me another option to be with him?
Friends, you know the entire situation now, why do you think he’s behaving like this? Did he ever love me? Or was he always faking it? Does he still love me? Do u think, his love is worth waiting for? Shall I forget him and come over him? Or shall I wait for a while there, set him free? Or shall I keep on getting in touch with him? Shall I take his best friends help to find out what is happening? (Though I don’t know, if his friend would be loyal enough n not go back to my boyfriend and tell him, that I have been asking about him). What should I do? Did he ever love and cared for me? Does he still have anything for me? Why did he even message me yesterday? Shall I wait for him to message me yet again? Or shall I take an initiative this time to call/message him and ask him to catch up? Please friend, tell me what shall I do? This situation is realllly killing! Please guys, I need some serious help.
Thanks to all of u in advance, but please, give me serious answers.Make/break relationship !! ..SERIOUS HELP needed,sorry for the long-est question :( ..but SINCERE ADVICE, ASAP
Ok huge question but I think i got it.
There are two paths in this outcome. You can have a relationship that you know will amount to nothing. You say he has no commitment but he still loves you. He seems to have a bit of a commitment because he hasn't cheated on you and you both seem to be single at the moment. So on some level there is commitment. Thus the other road is a more smoother one. You can leave him, fall out of love for him and replace him with someone who would want to marry you. Unless you plan on never getting married you need to realize that even though he loves you he cannot be with you. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves you. But its what you are looking for thats in the best interest. Ask yourself this: would you want a relationship that would only last say 5 more years or during those 5 years fall in love again, get married and start a family? Tell him straight out: I still love you but if you cannot commit to me as a wife then I will build a wall around my heart and look for someone to knock it down. (remember this is just my advice) Or you can do the whole get him jealous thing and make him want you more and more by finding another man better then him in a few different ways. But it all ends with him not being able to commit to you. It is your choice. Good luck.Make/break relationship !! ..SERIOUS HELP needed,sorry for the long-est question :( ..but SINCERE ADVICE, ASAP
I am not familiar with your culture and the marriage/love thing, but what I do know is that if you truly love someone, then you would do anything for them and want to be with them regardless of any other situation.
I would say that he probably thought that things were getting too serious (you're both very young still) and isn't ready for commitment. . . something that seems to happen with many, many guys, regardless of ethnicity or culture.
Take the opportunity to date others and find out what is truly important to you in a relationship; pick out the good traits and weed out the bad.
Hmmm...it sounds like he is unsure a little himself. I think the whole thing with his family not wanting him to get married is a bunch of bullsh*t. I understand that his family is upset but i dont think that would make him mad at you. Maybe he felt like you were smothering him by calling him alot. I know you probably wanted to talk to him alot because you love him and everything, but guys sometimes get scared by feeling smothered. Did you guys talk about marriage or was he the one to bring up the subject. If you guys talked about it maybe he thought about it and realized you guys were moving to fast or getting to serious. I am not sayin you did anything wrong i am just sayin that maybe he felt like you are making him take the relationship to the next step when he is not ready. I think you should not call him for a couple of days to a week ( he will notice you are not calling) and then call or text him how you feel. If he doesnt respond or call back then he is either annoyed by everything or very confused. Just be patient if he loves you he will come back!!
What you need to do is to live your life. He has already told you numerious times that he is not willing to commit to you, but also want's his cake and eat it too.....he wants to make sure that he can feel like he come and be with you any time he wants to, but is free to leave when ever he feels like it, that if someone ';better'; comes along he is free to pursue her, and that he will never be the bad guy cause you are the one that knew he was not willing to commit to you......etc.
First, you need to stop believing that the relationship will eventually go somewhere.......it won't. It will only cause you more pain.
Second, you need to be able to end the relationship. If you still want to keep a ';Friendship'; with him, then make sure it is only a email one, so you won't physically get yourself in trouble, and also so you are not letting yourself be fooled anymore with his sweet talk and your emotions.
Third, you need to give yourself time to heal over the relationship. You have emotionally invested allot into this relationship, and are hurting from his lack of wanting to pursue the relationship.
Fourth, you need to find someone that is truely worth what you have to offer, that is willing to love and commit to you and your relationship.....and that will love and value you, not just lust after you when it is convient for him.
I know it is hard to face it, and to move on, but you will be better and stronger for it.......good luck.
honestly i think u shuld let him go. if he is not ready for commitment and u r then u deserve to find wat u want. it seems like he did love u and still does. otherwise he wuldnt constantly be tryn to keep in touch wit u and always askin about u. he is confused. he doesnt kno wat to do becuz he doesnt want to go against his family yet he wants to b wit u but doesnt want to hurt u by not givin u commitment. i think u two shud end it and remain good friends and maybe if he decides one day that he can commit to u regardless of wat his family thinks then u 2 could get back on those terms if u havent already met sum1. but no u shudnt wait for him anymore. u have waited long enough. sumtimes u have to forget wat u feel and rememba wat u deserve.
it was long, but here is my answer
I think he obviously loves you, but it sounds like his family is keeping him from being in a commitment with you because they dont want you to get hurt or him. he needs to sit down with his family and tell them that he really loves you or it will be like this forever.
this sounds like Romeo and juliet btw
hi sweetie,
first up, this is the LONGEST question i've encountered here ,
it shows how much you love him . .am sorry to hear ur heartbroken . .
now, am not really sure but i think he has been cheating on you , , so sorry to tell u this but this is what i feel from a guys point of view , ,
guys act like this when they feel guilty or threatened . .
i wish u guys had mentioned ur age so i could have come to a conclusion on how matured u guys are . .
but listen, u should be knowing the depth of ur relationship , ,
all i wanna say is, there's a good chance that this guy was lusting for you 'cos at one point of time he admitted it,thinking that ur cool with it but when u got pissed off at him he realised u were just guessing %26amp; that he made a mistake by making such a blunt admission . .
then he got concerned whether u would would do something drastic n made his friend call u up to ensure u were alrite, 'cos he's been with u for a year so he's gotta be a bit responsible n ensure ur safety n well being . .
my number is 09387385783 , ,
let me know how things shape out . .
also , dont do anything stupid 'cos there are a lot of people out there who care for ur well being , ,
on the other hand, maybe whatever he's saying is true, , maybe he has some issues with his family . .ur in a better position than anyone to gauge it out for urself , ,
so peace out babe, everything happens for the best , ,
you'll be fine , ,
stay safe, ,
good luck ! !
I think you should leave this man alone. If he loved you, he would have married you. Love is stronger than pride. Love supercedes everything and conquers all.
Find someone that truly loves you and move on. Don't ever let a man use you again.
this really is long.
Sweet heart, you are definitely over thinking this! You are young! you should be enjoying life at your age, you only get one chance at it! Enjoy your girl friends. You live in America I presume! If that is the truth, you are American. I understand about the family stuff. My family did it to me... I had to be with an Italian, Catholic, etc...
This is not serious, but I know it is to you right now.
Look, I presume you are in college, enjoy college, they will be the best years of your life. Don't go through them unwillingly.
Enjoy life! Please.
Life is so simple...
If this happens, then that happens! At the end of the day, it really isn't much more than that.
Keep it simple honey! Keep it light, if things get heated, go with your ethics... If you want, protect yourself.
Play it smart, but be in control.
Best wishes to you,
Nrocco
Serious help needed!
I am 21 years old, and was dating a 24 year old guy. We both are from Delhi (India), and have same religion (Sikh). We both started dating in September’07. Things were great till December’07; we both loved each other, deeply. We shared a very good, strong relationship %26amp; were physically involved too, but on mutual basis.
But then suddenly, around in December’07 I could feel that he had started avoiding me a little. He started avoiding my messages, would reply after three messages that I would send, would not take all my calls, would take the third or the fourth call, and would hung up saying, he’s been real busy with work. Initially I thought he might have been busy, but then later, it got on my nerves.
Then on my constant asking and pestering him, he told me that he wants to end all of this, he said he is not comfortable being in this relationship. I was totally moved by this saying. And then later, in a about a week’s time, when I kept on asking him, what made him take this decision; he told me that he could never marry me.
His family is totally anti-love marriage (reason being, one of his first cousin’s was recently murdered by his wife after six months of their love marriage), so because of this, the family is in a state of shock and would never accept love marriage again. He said he could feel, that both of us have been getting serious in this relationship, day by day, but he sees no future to it. So, to avoid hurting me in the end, he wanted to call it off.
He said he respects me, and hence did not wish to hurt me further, or fake anything and go around and date for the short run. He was sure, that he can not give me any commitment. Even tough he loved me to bitts, but going against his family for him, was something not possible. So, ending terms was the only way out. But then, he again left the situation on me, saying that though he wants to be with me, because he loves me, but he can’t give me commitment, so if I still want to continue with him, he is all ready. I though a little that time, and than concluded, that we can try, as it is, he is not getting married before 2010, so I thought, that things might change by then.
So, we got back to normal terms that time. Though, being normal was not all normal that time. He was usually upset and not comfortable. He always had a fear in mind, that we can never get married, and obviously we were forever moving on to a serious platform. So he was usually hesitant about it. But things were moving on like this, a little slow, but kind of okay-ish.
Then suddenly, one day something struck me, and I just messaged him saying, that did he always loved me and met me for lust! I asked him, if he was always lusting for me. And after a few hours, he simply replied back saying “yes, it was just that” ! I got totally pissed with it. I was dumbstruck. I could not believe it, and I replied back with a very sad and an ugly looking message. I broke terms with him, n abused him to the heights, (as in- abused in the message), I did not talk to him in person. But he did not say anything in return. He did not even try to give me any clarification, and nor did he abuse me back. He took it, as I said.
And then two days later, I just realized, that he might have accepted my doubt, because, that I ways I would break all terms with him and feel a little better, rather than he breaking terms with me. Because no guy on the face of earth would ever accept that he was only lusting at the girl, and secondly so easily. He made no move to prove himself right at that moment. I felt, probably I was wrong. Then to see how things were with me, he asked his best friend to give me a call and find out, (though, he himself did not make a call), and later, in 2-3 days, we got back to normal talking terms.
Yet again, we were again, but I knew he wasn’t so comfortable with the situations. He always remained upset. I too was way too upset. So, last week, I messaged him saying, that I leave everything on you today. I said, if you want to continue, let’s start all over again, but if you want to end terms so it be. I said I trust you and your decisions and whatever you say today would be my command. He replied back saying, that he respects me and my feelings, but as a matter of fact, he cannot give me long term commitment, he cannot go against his family. He said, if I still want to continue, he is still ready for it. Then I replied him back saying, that being with him is a gamble for me, and not for him, but I am ready to play this gamble all my life. I said I can try and wait all my life for your commitment because I know he loves me, but I said, you have to play it fair. I said, you cannot feel un-comfortable all the time, and cannot stay in the hiding. I said, it’s okay if u don’t give me commitment but at least don’t run away from it. I said, I can play the gamble, but if u think u can play it fair, then tell me. He then replied back saying, that lets leave it den. He cannot continue that ways, it was really awesome being with you and be in touch... And all that!
I cried and weeped after this, but then realized, this was probably our destiny. And I decided to not try to get in touch with him ever again. His relationship status on orkut suddenly changed to committed the immediate day after this. Previously, I also had deleted him from my orkut account (when that lusting issue happened), but , after all this I sent him a friends request again, saying that I am adding you only to retain an old friend, add me u wish to. For five days, neither did he add me or reject my approval. Just yesterday after five days, he rejected my friend’s approval (I know, he got online on orkut at least 25 times before that, I could see him replying other people). In the meanwhile, day before yesterday, he again made his best friend call me up, just to check out things at my end (of-course, the best friend did not say that he’s asked him to call, but I could make that out). Because, this guy never calls me otherwise, its always, when we fight or end up, this guy gives me a call just to check out things.
And then, yesterday in the evening, my boyfriend messaged me and asked me if I could catch him up, (I had just not kept in touch with him since Friday, I was totally out of touch, because he called me up on Friday and he was feeling really low that time, he said n asked me why do I send him such sarcastic messages, he said he feels really bad about them, so I promised him that time, that I would never do that ever again. So, I did not). So after his message, I said I could meet him up in half an hour’s time, so then later he said no, he doesn’t have time to wait. (He was actually outside my work-place and thought I would be there too, but I was at home, which he wasn’t aware of). Anyhow, we did not meet up.
Now, I don’t know what to do. I am in a state of dilemma. Don’t know, if I should let go him, or get in touch with him, and try to get him back. I know he loves me; he is doing all this because he loves me, but I don’t know what to do. I know he is not committed; he changed his status just to convey that message to me, so that I can abuse him and forget him. If he is not interested in me anymore, why did he make his friend call me up, to check out, how am I doing? Why did he message me yesterday? Or was he just playing around when he messaged? If he had to not accept my friends request on orkut, what took him five days to decide? He could have done it on the first day also. If he got committed immediately the next day of we calling it off, when I messaged him the first time, he could have told me that time also, that he has someone else, why did he give me another option to be with him?
Friends, you know the entire situation now, why do you think he’s behaving like this? Did he ever love me? Or was he always faking it? Does he still love me? Do u think, his love is worth waiting for? Shall I forget him and come over him? Or shall I wait for a while there, set him free? Or shall I keep on getting in touch with him? Shall I take his best friends help to find out what is happening? (Though I don’t know, if his friend would be loyal enough n not go back to my boyfriend and tell him, that I have been asking about him). What should I do? Did he ever love and cared for me? Does he still have anything for me? Why did he even message me yesterday? Shall I wait for him to message me yet again? Or shall I take an initiative this time to call/message him and ask him to catch up? Please friend, tell me what shall I do? This situation is realllly killing! Please guys, I need some serious help.
Thanks to all of u in advance, but please, give me serious answers.Make/break relationship !! ..SERIOUS HELP needed,sorry for the long-est question :( ..but SINCERE ADVICE, ASAP
Ok huge question but I think i got it.
There are two paths in this outcome. You can have a relationship that you know will amount to nothing. You say he has no commitment but he still loves you. He seems to have a bit of a commitment because he hasn't cheated on you and you both seem to be single at the moment. So on some level there is commitment. Thus the other road is a more smoother one. You can leave him, fall out of love for him and replace him with someone who would want to marry you. Unless you plan on never getting married you need to realize that even though he loves you he cannot be with you. There is no doubt in my mind that he loves you. But its what you are looking for thats in the best interest. Ask yourself this: would you want a relationship that would only last say 5 more years or during those 5 years fall in love again, get married and start a family? Tell him straight out: I still love you but if you cannot commit to me as a wife then I will build a wall around my heart and look for someone to knock it down. (remember this is just my advice) Or you can do the whole get him jealous thing and make him want you more and more by finding another man better then him in a few different ways. But it all ends with him not being able to commit to you. It is your choice. Good luck.Make/break relationship !! ..SERIOUS HELP needed,sorry for the long-est question :( ..but SINCERE ADVICE, ASAP
I am not familiar with your culture and the marriage/love thing, but what I do know is that if you truly love someone, then you would do anything for them and want to be with them regardless of any other situation.
I would say that he probably thought that things were getting too serious (you're both very young still) and isn't ready for commitment. . . something that seems to happen with many, many guys, regardless of ethnicity or culture.
Take the opportunity to date others and find out what is truly important to you in a relationship; pick out the good traits and weed out the bad.
Hmmm...it sounds like he is unsure a little himself. I think the whole thing with his family not wanting him to get married is a bunch of bullsh*t. I understand that his family is upset but i dont think that would make him mad at you. Maybe he felt like you were smothering him by calling him alot. I know you probably wanted to talk to him alot because you love him and everything, but guys sometimes get scared by feeling smothered. Did you guys talk about marriage or was he the one to bring up the subject. If you guys talked about it maybe he thought about it and realized you guys were moving to fast or getting to serious. I am not sayin you did anything wrong i am just sayin that maybe he felt like you are making him take the relationship to the next step when he is not ready. I think you should not call him for a couple of days to a week ( he will notice you are not calling) and then call or text him how you feel. If he doesnt respond or call back then he is either annoyed by everything or very confused. Just be patient if he loves you he will come back!!
What you need to do is to live your life. He has already told you numerious times that he is not willing to commit to you, but also want's his cake and eat it too.....he wants to make sure that he can feel like he come and be with you any time he wants to, but is free to leave when ever he feels like it, that if someone ';better'; comes along he is free to pursue her, and that he will never be the bad guy cause you are the one that knew he was not willing to commit to you......etc.
First, you need to stop believing that the relationship will eventually go somewhere.......it won't. It will only cause you more pain.
Second, you need to be able to end the relationship. If you still want to keep a ';Friendship'; with him, then make sure it is only a email one, so you won't physically get yourself in trouble, and also so you are not letting yourself be fooled anymore with his sweet talk and your emotions.
Third, you need to give yourself time to heal over the relationship. You have emotionally invested allot into this relationship, and are hurting from his lack of wanting to pursue the relationship.
Fourth, you need to find someone that is truely worth what you have to offer, that is willing to love and commit to you and your relationship.....and that will love and value you, not just lust after you when it is convient for him.
I know it is hard to face it, and to move on, but you will be better and stronger for it.......good luck.
honestly i think u shuld let him go. if he is not ready for commitment and u r then u deserve to find wat u want. it seems like he did love u and still does. otherwise he wuldnt constantly be tryn to keep in touch wit u and always askin about u. he is confused. he doesnt kno wat to do becuz he doesnt want to go against his family yet he wants to b wit u but doesnt want to hurt u by not givin u commitment. i think u two shud end it and remain good friends and maybe if he decides one day that he can commit to u regardless of wat his family thinks then u 2 could get back on those terms if u havent already met sum1. but no u shudnt wait for him anymore. u have waited long enough. sumtimes u have to forget wat u feel and rememba wat u deserve.
it was long, but here is my answer
I think he obviously loves you, but it sounds like his family is keeping him from being in a commitment with you because they dont want you to get hurt or him. he needs to sit down with his family and tell them that he really loves you or it will be like this forever.
this sounds like Romeo and juliet btw
hi sweetie,
first up, this is the LONGEST question i've encountered here ,
it shows how much you love him . .am sorry to hear ur heartbroken . .
now, am not really sure but i think he has been cheating on you , , so sorry to tell u this but this is what i feel from a guys point of view , ,
guys act like this when they feel guilty or threatened . .
i wish u guys had mentioned ur age so i could have come to a conclusion on how matured u guys are . .
but listen, u should be knowing the depth of ur relationship , ,
all i wanna say is, there's a good chance that this guy was lusting for you 'cos at one point of time he admitted it,thinking that ur cool with it but when u got pissed off at him he realised u were just guessing %26amp; that he made a mistake by making such a blunt admission . .
then he got concerned whether u would would do something drastic n made his friend call u up to ensure u were alrite, 'cos he's been with u for a year so he's gotta be a bit responsible n ensure ur safety n well being . .
my number is 09387385783 , ,
let me know how things shape out . .
also , dont do anything stupid 'cos there are a lot of people out there who care for ur well being , ,
on the other hand, maybe whatever he's saying is true, , maybe he has some issues with his family . .ur in a better position than anyone to gauge it out for urself , ,
so peace out babe, everything happens for the best , ,
you'll be fine , ,
stay safe, ,
good luck ! !
I think you should leave this man alone. If he loved you, he would have married you. Love is stronger than pride. Love supercedes everything and conquers all.
Find someone that truly loves you and move on. Don't ever let a man use you again.
this really is long.
Sweet heart, you are definitely over thinking this! You are young! you should be enjoying life at your age, you only get one chance at it! Enjoy your girl friends. You live in America I presume! If that is the truth, you are American. I understand about the family stuff. My family did it to me... I had to be with an Italian, Catholic, etc...
This is not serious, but I know it is to you right now.
Look, I presume you are in college, enjoy college, they will be the best years of your life. Don't go through them unwillingly.
Enjoy life! Please.
Life is so simple...
If this happens, then that happens! At the end of the day, it really isn't much more than that.
Keep it simple honey! Keep it light, if things get heated, go with your ethics... If you want, protect yourself.
Play it smart, but be in control.
Best wishes to you,
Nrocco
Any advice how can I move on from my past serious long-distance relationship?
I really love this girl so much..She is my life.. And I did everything I could to make her happy even if we are long distance relationship.. Then last November 1, our relationship starts to be in chaos.. She became cold to me, and barely calling or texting me. I was depressed then and last week, we broke up. Now I'm facing the hardest challenge of my life losing my girlfriend I loved very very much. I don't know how to move on.. Can I still move on? or is there any hope for me and my life now that she's gone? Or any advices or ideas? thanks..Any advice how can I move on from my past serious long-distance relationship?
I know it's really tough, but you've gotta look at it this way. There are 7 billion (plus) people on this earth, and she was just was one them. I went through the exact some thing some time ago when I started college, after about a 3 year relationship. I was crushed and I couldn't stop thinking about her. But you have to do exactly that, stop . . and think. Think about yourself. Especially if you did nothing wrong, don't beat yourself up over it. She's the one that will be missing out later. Do whatever you can to not think about her. The best cure for this is space and doing other things to take your mind off of it. If it's really meant to be, don't talk to her for awhile and see if she attempts to reach you or anything.
I know it's really tough, but you've gotta look at it this way. There are 7 billion (plus) people on this earth, and she was just was one them. I went through the exact some thing some time ago when I started college, after about a 3 year relationship. I was crushed and I couldn't stop thinking about her. But you have to do exactly that, stop . . and think. Think about yourself. Especially if you did nothing wrong, don't beat yourself up over it. She's the one that will be missing out later. Do whatever you can to not think about her. The best cure for this is space and doing other things to take your mind off of it. If it's really meant to be, don't talk to her for awhile and see if she attempts to reach you or anything.
Friday, January 8, 2010
I鈥檓 having ALOT of relationship problems at the moment and I鈥檓 hoping for some advice?
I鈥檓 a bisexual guy in my late teens and I haven鈥檛 been much experienced in relationships, and I really am hoping for a solution to my problems鈥?br>
My ex-fiancee(yes, ex-fiancee, we were to be wed in September) dumped me a month ago, we kind of lost our spark, so we decided to end it, two weeks ago I started dating a guy who makes me feel happy and stuff, but he self harms, and I can鈥檛 be with someone who does that to them self鈥?br>
I told him that if he doesn鈥檛 stop, I鈥檒l leave him, but all he does is cry and tells me that he can鈥檛 stop =/ I don鈥檛 know what to do? Also, when I told him I鈥檓 not a virgin, he freaked out because he thought 鈥渋t was something we could lose together鈥濃€?is it normal to freak out because your partner isn鈥檛 a virgin?
AND, I鈥檝e gotten close to my ex-fiancee, I mean when you love someone and break up with them, where does the love go? I鈥檝e noticed our spark has recently become stronger than it was during our relationship, it takes alot of strength not to be with her... =/
Also, she is dating this guy who, to be honest, isn't right in the head... although, she told me that she'd dump him for me...
I'm really confused and I don't know what to do =/
Any advice, much appreciated.xI鈥檓 having ALOT of relationship problems at the moment and I鈥檓 hoping for some advice?
First of all, I'm so sorry you're in a situation like this =/
Instead of telling this guy you're dating that you'll dump him if he doesn't stop self harming himself, try to help him. I don't think he should have freaked out about you not being a virgin, because love is accepting.
And about your ex-fiancee, it sounds like that relationship could last short-term, off-and-on. But in order to make it work, you wouldn't be able to call it quits every time the spark starts to go out.
So it sounds like to me that... you're not in a healthy relationship and she's not in a healthy relationship because you should be in a relationship together.
Sorry if I contradicted myself, just my thought process.
But good luck sweetie. I hope everything works out :)I鈥檓 having ALOT of relationship problems at the moment and I鈥檓 hoping for some advice?
No problem :)
And I really really hope it all works out for you!! =D
1. Your guy friend needs help if he cant stop ';self harming';, if you cant be with someone like that then don't be.
2. I say stick to the girl and leave the guy..
suicide, or changing your sexuality. To Hetero
I agree with Ding a Ling, Ditch them both and give yourself some ME TIME. decide what it is you really want, are you Bi because you don't know what you want or are you just greedy? they both sound like they are using you He is using you for support and you don't sound like you want to be somebodies walking frame. And her, she is keeping you around as a standby just close enough to keep you interested but far enough away she can still have her own fun. sorry if it sounds harsh but its reality and i am sure you will get through it. Good Luck!!
don't go out with any of them. find someone new or stay single for a while. and i have heard of people having weird opinions about the virgin thing, but in my opinion it really doesn't matter and if they don't wanna do it with you because you're not a virgin then they really need to grow up.
Well you need to be honest to your boyfriend and ex. I am probably correct when I say that your ex doesn't know that u r bi-sexual. SO you need to be honest and up front with her and that will determine how that will turn out. For the guy that u r currently seeing you cant help no one that doesn't want to be helped. so if you have set that ultimatum than you need to live by it.
Well for the boy who self harms he needs help. I understand what you are saying about not wanting to be with someone who does that. Maybe you can try and help him get help. As for the girl if she dumped you once she will likely do it again and if she is willing to leave her boyfriend for you what does that say about her character? good luck.
My ex-fiancee(yes, ex-fiancee, we were to be wed in September) dumped me a month ago, we kind of lost our spark, so we decided to end it, two weeks ago I started dating a guy who makes me feel happy and stuff, but he self harms, and I can鈥檛 be with someone who does that to them self鈥?br>
I told him that if he doesn鈥檛 stop, I鈥檒l leave him, but all he does is cry and tells me that he can鈥檛 stop =/ I don鈥檛 know what to do? Also, when I told him I鈥檓 not a virgin, he freaked out because he thought 鈥渋t was something we could lose together鈥濃€?is it normal to freak out because your partner isn鈥檛 a virgin?
AND, I鈥檝e gotten close to my ex-fiancee, I mean when you love someone and break up with them, where does the love go? I鈥檝e noticed our spark has recently become stronger than it was during our relationship, it takes alot of strength not to be with her... =/
Also, she is dating this guy who, to be honest, isn't right in the head... although, she told me that she'd dump him for me...
I'm really confused and I don't know what to do =/
Any advice, much appreciated.xI鈥檓 having ALOT of relationship problems at the moment and I鈥檓 hoping for some advice?
First of all, I'm so sorry you're in a situation like this =/
Instead of telling this guy you're dating that you'll dump him if he doesn't stop self harming himself, try to help him. I don't think he should have freaked out about you not being a virgin, because love is accepting.
And about your ex-fiancee, it sounds like that relationship could last short-term, off-and-on. But in order to make it work, you wouldn't be able to call it quits every time the spark starts to go out.
So it sounds like to me that... you're not in a healthy relationship and she's not in a healthy relationship because you should be in a relationship together.
Sorry if I contradicted myself, just my thought process.
But good luck sweetie. I hope everything works out :)I鈥檓 having ALOT of relationship problems at the moment and I鈥檓 hoping for some advice?
No problem :)
And I really really hope it all works out for you!! =D
Report Abuse
1. Your guy friend needs help if he cant stop ';self harming';, if you cant be with someone like that then don't be.
2. I say stick to the girl and leave the guy..
suicide, or changing your sexuality. To Hetero
I agree with Ding a Ling, Ditch them both and give yourself some ME TIME. decide what it is you really want, are you Bi because you don't know what you want or are you just greedy? they both sound like they are using you He is using you for support and you don't sound like you want to be somebodies walking frame. And her, she is keeping you around as a standby just close enough to keep you interested but far enough away she can still have her own fun. sorry if it sounds harsh but its reality and i am sure you will get through it. Good Luck!!
don't go out with any of them. find someone new or stay single for a while. and i have heard of people having weird opinions about the virgin thing, but in my opinion it really doesn't matter and if they don't wanna do it with you because you're not a virgin then they really need to grow up.
Well you need to be honest to your boyfriend and ex. I am probably correct when I say that your ex doesn't know that u r bi-sexual. SO you need to be honest and up front with her and that will determine how that will turn out. For the guy that u r currently seeing you cant help no one that doesn't want to be helped. so if you have set that ultimatum than you need to live by it.
Well for the boy who self harms he needs help. I understand what you are saying about not wanting to be with someone who does that. Maybe you can try and help him get help. As for the girl if she dumped you once she will likely do it again and if she is willing to leave her boyfriend for you what does that say about her character? good luck.
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